republicans in the news
Alleged Sex Creep in Peter Pan Hat Is Prominent Oregon GOP Politican, Of Course
The spring season of political sex scandals, like the presidential campaigns, like the bland and uninspired bickering of Congress, like the campaign ads’ lack of demon sheep, masturbating witches and Basil Marceaux, are so boring that we are sharing this tale of a dim Oregon GOP lawmaker who had consensual, heterosexual sex with his staffer: [...]
Law-And-Order Republicans In Indiana Now Let You Stand Your Ground Against Cops
So here is what we are having a hard time wrapping our puny girly brains around: we remember, due to oldness, when the NRA lobbied to keep Kevlar-piercing bullets legal (for those Kevlar-vested deer), but when did Ted Nugent and pals come to so wholly outrank sensible Establishment Republicans as to get cop-killing legalized? Was [...]
Ron Paul To Put America Back On the Chocolate Bar Standard
Ron Paul not-actual delegate (class of ’08) Garrett Quinn sends us this delightful Ron Paul promotional item, from the eccentric old man’s candy factory, which has been shrouded in secrecy ever since Ron Paul fired all his black workers, for stealing, and replaced them with hobbits.
Mitt Romney Mocks Poor NASCAR Fans In Plastic Rain Ponchos
Now that Mitt Romney has barely managed to win his abandoned “home state” of Michigan, we can get back to marveling at his weird millionaire android interactions with the common folk who make up the Republican base. For example, Mitt also enjoys NASCAR race car crashes, because he visited that NASCAR track and made his [...]
Virginia Senate Passes Marginally Less Rapey Ultrasound Bill
Oh, how cute, the Virginia Senate has voted 21-19 in favor of a bill to ensure Dave Albo’s wife never sexes him again. Since determining that the howling shrieking whorish harpies bitching about their Jesus-mandated transvaginal ultrasounds might actually persuade all womyn to never vote Republican again, the GOP listened, and amended their bill to [...]
Science Proves Rich People Are Generally Evil
Extremely wealthy people discard their own spouses and children as easily as they discard thousands of factory workers. They feel absolutely no guilt as they scheme and connive, and they will rip off other rich people in massive Ponzi schemes with as little feeling as they’ll rape their housekeepers. The rich strap their supposedly beloved [...]
GOP Suddenly Concerned About Being Insane Racist Misogynist Fanatics
After last night’s delightful Republican debate focusing on the three important issues facing all Americans — making birth control illegal, cutting taxes for the richest 1%, and savagely persecuting the impoverished Mexican laborers who have mostly stopped seeking work in the U.S. since the economy collapsed — a few “moderate” GOP leaders are suggesting maybe [...]
Liveblogging The Last Arizona Apocalypse & The End Of All Things
Is it really already the last debate? Have there even been any before tonight? Wait, the intern telling us something… !!!… okay, so there have been about 20 debates! Thanks, intern. (You’re fired.) Well, this process has certainly made us a better nation. So let’s watch tonight’s CNN debate live from the gay Mexican firecracker [...]
Mexico-Bashing Gay Arizona Sheriff Shares Tips On Forbidden Love
Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner “Jose,” who was also a trusted political consultant for Babeu and even designed all of Babeu’s congressional campaign websites: Jose somehow secretly “wanted to harm me,” Babeu told CNN on Monday. If true, this follows the typical Republican [...]
Right-Wing Anti-Mexican Arizona Sheriff Has Gay Mexican Lover
Here is the hot American president’s day news for those of you who didn’t spend the weekend searching for “gay wingnut arizona sheriff tries to deport gay mexican lover” on Ask Jeeves: Beloved right-wing anti-Mexican Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has been caught trying to deport his homosexual Mexican lover, because Paul Babeu is a homosexual [...]
blog advertising is good for you
