Tag: republican

Shirtless Sweaty Man Will Be Arizona’s Governor For Sure

Frank Riggs, one of several candidates for governor in Arizona's Republican primary, is trying something unusual for a Republican campaign ad: He's not shooting anything. But he includes a gun show anyway, explaining, as he pumps iron, that he's...

Wisconsin Democrat Yells At GOP While Dressed As Confederate Soldier. As You Do.

We have to say that this cosplay display by Wisconsin state Rep. Brett Hulsey (D-Awesomesauce), a replacement for the stunt where he promised to hand out KKK hoods at the state Republican Party convention this weekend, is very, very, insensitive and...

Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn Denies White House Bid, Maybe, Probably, Who Even Knows?

Is it 2016 yet? Have we inaugurated Hillary Clinton already? CNN BREAKING NEWS: No, it is only 2014. Yet rumors persist about who is and is not running for President to replace Our Dreamy Guiding Star of Socialist Hippie...

Pharrell Reveals Beautiful, Bizarre Political Views In GQ Interview

Pharrell Williams makes songs that shake booties, including the booty of excellent Congressman John Lewis. That's great, but it doesn't speak to Pharrell's own political beliefs. Only Pharrell himself can do that, and blessed are we because he has...

Harry Reid Wants To Save Nevada Prostitutes From 2016 Republican National Convention

Even though our Kenyan Dictator B. Barry Bamz was re-crowned only last year, it is already time to start thinking about the next Presidential election, which also means it is still time to stab ourselves in the eye with...

Wonkette Live Drunkblog State Of The Union 2014 Liveblog SOTU Search Optimized Drunk Headline

What time is the 2014 State of the Union SOTU Fox News? It is at 8:55 Eastern ET Time. What time is the Wonkette Livebloog time-stamped word salad refresh your browser to update liveblog? IT IS ABOUT AN HOUR...

GOP Shutdown Saves Economy From Too Much Prosperity

Well, we are in week 2 of what seems to be a shutdown about... something ... who really knows at this point? Now that Obamacare is glitchily bumbling along, what, exactly, is the GOP demanding for releasing the hostage?...

GOP Rep. Ralph Hall Has Fun Hanging Out With Gays Until He Realizes That He Is Hanging Out With Gays

The Capitol is a large complex consisting of several buildings and a series of underground tunnels connecting them, so it can be a confusing place to navigate. However, Rep. Ralph Hall, a conservative Texas Republican and supporter of traditional...

Let Reagan’s Budget Director Explain At You About Gold And The Fed And Other Cool Ron Paul Stuff

Isn't that nice, Reagan's former budget director David A. Stockman has taken to the New York Times to scold at us about debt and government spending and the fact that the "recovery" is a "bubble." The good news is...

Yes, Virginia, There Is A (Sad Befuddled Old Man Running For Congress Who Thinks He Is) Santa Claus

Well now we have TWO Sadz! First we watched the Span's rerun of the Gore-Bush debate where Jorge Boosh said things like "an elderly," and now we have read this Daily Caller piece about a seemingly sort of disassociative...

Utah Republican Jason Chaffetz Has Some Original Ideas On Fixing The Deficit

Representative Jason Chaffetz, a Republican (duh) from Utah, has a lot in common with his fellow Republicans, given that he thinks that fixing the deficit is a very, very important issue, but! not so important that we should be...

Why Won’t The Democrats Compromise On The Budget Like Republicans Do?

Congressional Representative Robert J. Dold, a Republican (because SHOCKER) from Illinois, is a self-described “small business owner” from Illinois who is very, very concerned about the deficit. As all Very Serious People know, the deficit is the Most Important...

Bristol Palin Absolutely Not Sexing Anyone, Says Bristol Palin

Bristol Palin is setting the record straight about 'putting a ring on it' vs 'trial marriage' (getting dick). Despite her past struggles of tagging hockey players, having a child out of wedlock and pretending to be a Christian, Bristol...

Mr. Hitler Goes To Washington

Republicans’ psycho cousin The American Nazi Party (ANP) registered its first lobbyist this week. They grow up so fast! It seems like just yesterday they were destroying the world! John Bowles, das lobbyist, registered Tuesday with House and...

Charlie Crist Will Run For President In 2012

Here is a bold Internet prediction: the newly off-the-market bronze Floridian frat-mammal Charlie Crist will make a run for the presidency next go-round. After all the work he put into his failed quest for the Republican VP nod this...

McCAIN WINS MISSOURI: Not that it matters, but he won it, so there's that! Won it by a hair under 6,000 votes.