Tag Archives: republican

  so lonely

Gay Larry Craig Has No Internet Friends

Why is gay Senator Larry Craig always getting arrested in public restrooms? Because he’s the Idaho Bathroom Goblin, that’s why! Also, as this picture proves, it’s because he has no Internet friends. So sad. [Official Profile: Sen. Larry E. Craig] Read more on Gay Larry Craig Has No Internet Friends…
 

This Florida Life: Boca Raton Welcomes Republicans!

Hey look, it’s teevee’s Joe Scarborough! Wonkette operative Lauren Selsky has all these pictures and words from the very center of the Republican Universe, at least for the next two hours. Read more on This Florida Life: Boca Raton Welcomes Republicans!…
 

BREAKING: RON PAUL COULD BEAT RUDY 9IU11ANI

The great GOP battle known as “Nut vs. Nut” may finally resolve with the more-famous nut (serial adulterer/abortionist Rudy Giuliani) losing to the renegade Texas nut, Dr. Ron Paul. At the moment, Rudy’s got 9% and Paul’s right on his terror-loving ass with 8% — that’s with 14% of the precincts reporting. Let’s look back in anger at Rudy and Ron’s greatest moment during one of the 1,700 Republican debates last year: Read more on BREAKING: RON PAUL COULD BEAT RUDY 9IU11ANI…
 

Does Huckabee Owe His Success To George Foreman’s Grill?

newVideoPlayer("Foreman_Snapper.flv", 475, 376,""); Here’s once-fearsome heavyweight champion George Foreman figuring out a way to get free television advertising on FOX for his miraculous fat-burning grill: Answer questions about suddenly successful former-fatso Mike Huckabee! We’ve sent our own videographer Liz Glover to find out if Huckabee actually owns a Foreman Grill and if he indeed used it to “knock out the fat.” Stay tuned, refresh constantly, etc. Read more on Does Huckabee Owe His Success To George Foreman’s Grill?…
 

Nobody Wants to Play Anymore

Today, Jim McCrery of Louisiana became the 17th Republican in the House to announce that he’s not running for re-election. McCrery is the head Republican on the Ways and Means Committee and is reportedly depressed that he can’t make its Chair, Charlie Rangel, see his point of view. In a completely unrelated note, McCrery has been dogged with rumors of bisexuality at least since 1992, when The Advocate published its expos√© about his rumored bisexuality. Of course, he also says wants to spend more time with his family. [CQ Politics, The Advocate via BlogActive] Read more on Nobody Wants to Play Anymore…
 

Dickcember Wind Is Picking Up

In 2003, Jeffrey Ray Nielsen here was arrested in California for having sex with a 14 year-old boy he met online when he was 33. Of course, he met him online when he was employed at a prominent law firm that agreed to hire him as a favor to the current head of the Orange County Republican Party, Scott Baugh. Yes, that’s right, it’s time for another Republican child sex scandal! Read more on Dickcember Wind Is Picking Up…
 

Bob Allen Jury To Visit Infamous Potty

Florida Today‘s brilliant liveblogging of the Bob Allen penis trial continues with day three of hilarious “he said/he said” (h/t Larry Craig) misunderstandings. The trial is expected to go all aftern– Oh wait! The trial won’t resume until tomorrow morning, because they’re taking a field trip to the hot dog factory itself. Read more on Bob Allen Jury To Visit Infamous Potty…
 

The War on Jesus

A new irono-t-shirt, modeled by some “Christian” hottie here, bears the slogan “I Love Jesus (but I do drink a little).” Well Jesus doesn’t love you, Ms. Heathen Devil Drinking QUASI-HUMAN! If you really care for the famous wizard-carpenter, the shirt would read “I Love Jesus (but I do have secret gay affairs with minors while being Republican).” I Love Jesus (but I do drink a little) [Storyville] Read more on The War on Jesus…
 

We don’t really have any comment on the Federal Prosecutor guy charged with actually trying to fuck a five-year-old girl. Said the assistant U.S. attorney from Florida: “I’ve done it plenty.” [Above The Law] Read more on …
 

Larry Craig: ‘If I Didn’t Get Dick, You Must Acquit’

Today, gay bathroom menace Larry Craig is trying to file legal papers of some kind in Minneapolis to “reverse his guilty plea.” Why? Because while Craig admits he went through the whole closeted-gay code/charade to get some bathroom cock, he didn’t actually get any, because he got arrested by an undercover cop. Seriously, this is his defense. GOP hero Larry Craig has truly taken Republican Values to a whole new level, applying the utterly amoral legal hijinx of Dick Cheney’s lawyers to the realm of cruisy toilets. Craig To Seek A Reversal Of His Guilty Plea Today [Politico/CBS] Read more on Larry Craig: ‘If I Didn’t Get Dick, You Must Acquit’…
 

Minneapolis Airport Police Conspiring To Destroy America’s Western Ranches! Or Something …

American hero and U.S. American Senator Larry Craig has a new ally in his brave battle to un-resign from the Senate and un-plead guilty to trying to get some dick in a public restroom. The American Land Rights Association has announced its support of Craig — one of the bravest, straightest men fighting for property rights in the Western United States — by calling for a boycott of Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport. Read more on Minneapolis Airport Police Conspiring To Destroy America’s Western Ranches! Or Something ……
 

Libtard Main Stream Media More Concerned With Right-Wing Senator’s Sex Crime Than Washed-Up English Gay Singer’s Sex Crime of Nine Years Ago

It’s not an outrage that a Republican Senator was arrested in a public bathroom trying to fuck a male cop, it’s an outrage that the Main Stream Media is paying attention to this when the same amount of attention wasn’t given to the arrest of a retired gay pop singer in 1998. If not for a site called “NewsBusters” — which is “exposing and combating liberal media bias” — we may not have realized why U.S. Senator Larry Craig’s bathroom arrest should have no more media coverage than the arrest of George Michael, which apparently didn’t have exactly as much coverage as Larry Craig’s arrest, even though the first thing that anybody thinks when you say “arrested for cruising a bathroom” is “George Michael” … until this week, at least. Read more on Libtard Main Stream Media More Concerned With Right-Wing Senator’s Sex Crime Than Washed-Up English Gay Singer’s Sex Crime of Nine Years Ago…
 

Is There Even One Heterosexual Republican?

Charlie Crist, America’s tragically forgotten in-the-closet Republican candidate, is reportedly still a big gay homosexual who won’t ‘fess up. Plus, he cheats on his long-term boyfriend, who is a convicted criminal. And the kid he had a gay homosexual sex affair with is also a convicted criminal — who, obviously, worked for Katherine Harris. Read more on Is There Even One Heterosexual Republican?…