Wonkette

This election year might be the most exciting in generations, but that doesn’t mean the conventions won’t be as boring as ever! Now that Hillary Clinton has robbed us of our last, greatest chance for a Convention Floor Fight featuring a shirtless Ted Kennedy jello wrestling a be-thonged Harold Ickes, Democratic conventioneers will be forced to spend their endless days milling around committee meetings and bitching about their chillblains. And the next weekend, Republicans will be too wasted from partying till 4am every night to do anything but golf-clap through Mitt Romney’s vice presidential victory speech. MSNBC will be there to cover all this dull boringness for literally 20 hours a day. This will be journalism’s own Bataan Death March. Will Chris Matthews make it out alive? [New York Times]

Joe Lieberman and John McCain share a special bond: they are are the most despised members of their political parties. So it’s only natural that Lieberman, a Democrat who acts like a Republican, might appear at the Republican National Convention to support his good friend who acts like a Democrat. MORE »

Praise Jesus the Minnesota House Commerce and Labor Committee has approved a very important measure! It allows bars in the Twin Cities metropolitan area to stay open till 4 AM during the Republican National Convention. This will allow local governments to reap greater benefits from out-of-towners’ hot economic injections, while Republicans will have extra time to get liquored up before retiring to their rooms for gentle frottage with underage campaign volunteers. [TwinCities.com] MORE »

If hard-living state legislators have their way, bars in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area may stay open until 4 a.m. during the Republican National Convention in early September. One aggrieved tipster writes to Wonkette: “Sure, us regular alcoholics have to stop at 1:00AM and the Republicans get to drink till 4:00AM. What next, hooker discount coupons?” [KARE11.com]