Not too long ago, some of the most coveted jobs in Washington lay in the Republican National Committee. Its employees went to work at noon, were fed peeled grapes by strapping young men in American flag-themed loincloths, dined on baby whale-steaks with the world’s most creative and decadent war criminals, and then rode home on gold-plated dildos at 4pm sharp. But now under the leadership of Michael Steele, RNC gigs gotten so depressing that long-time employees are leaving. MORE »

GOP Chairman Michael Steele is proving to be pretty goddamn tiresome already and he has been running the party for what, minus five minutes? After explaining to George Stephanopoulos how “jobs” are different from “work,” he then gave this big long interview with the Washington Times that was likewise so jam-packed with mockable bullshit that it is hard to see what a person with a satirical blog-writing “job” is supposed to do with it. MORE »

Last year the Republican National Committee redefined humor forever with their amazing Valentine’s Day cards. These cards showcased Democratic sexpots Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton imploring voters to have sex with them, constantly, and also raise taxes. This year, they have taken things one step further and devolved into full-on pornography. Come and look! Look and come! MORE »

KNOWN LIBERAL TEEVEE STATION ‘C-SPAN’ BARRED FROM GOP PROCEEDINGS: According to a well-placed secret source, the “RNC voted to close today’s discussion with the candidates vying to be their new chairman. No cameras allowed, so C-SPAN will not be able to cover.” The American people deserve to know what sordid pagan pansexual fisting orgies the Republicans engage in when they’re selecting their new chair. Now how will we ever know?

Once upon a time there was an organization called the Republican National Committee, which was run by competent people like Ed Gillespie and Ken Mehlman. They helped win elections and stuff, until 2006, when Republicans suddenly stopped winning anything. Since then, a succession of nobodies at the RNC have helped make the party into the obscure Southern fringe group it is today. So which of six brave men will get to lead the party into further irrelevance in the future? MORE »

Robert Kennedy Jr. will attest that Ken Blackwell is the literal reincarnation of Beelzebub, who rode a steaming sleigh of entrails from the bowels of Hell to Ohio in order to help George W. Bush steal the election of 2004. This makes him a perfect candidate to run the Republican National Committee as it faces an ever more glorious future. MORE »