Tag: republican

The Humble Hannity? Your Wonkagenda, November 2, 2016

Donald Trump's pervy sex novel, Bernie Sanders burns big pharma, and a Texas A.G. learns all about Twitter. Your Morning News Brief!

A Children’s Treasury Of Wingnut Reactions To Harriet Tubman On The $20 Bill

Wingnut America is rather torn on how to react to Wednesday's news that Harriet Tubman will be replacing Andrew Jackson on the front of the $20 bill. The most openly racist nutbags, like the nice volks at the Daily...

Ted Cruz’s April Fools Joke Will Make You Die Of Gigglegasms And Go To Hell

Oh man, stop the presses because it is the official Worst Day Of The Internet, otherwise known as April Fools' Day! And what happens when the Worst Day Of The Internet combines with the Most Hated Senator Who Is...
These ladies apparently.

Mean Tinder App Won’t Let Everybody #FeelTheBern, In Their Pants

OH GOLLY GEE HIP HOORAY, we think we found a story about the Democratic primary that will NOT make anybody weep and wail and gnash their teeths and beat their breasteses and helicopter their peeners in anger all over...

Duck Dynasty Dude: Who Among Us Hasn’t Banged Some Hookers? Vote David Vitter!

Oh, this isn't awkward AT ALL. After managing for years to avoid the subject of that time family values Sen. David Vitter got busted diddling prostitutes, his youthful adulterous indiscretion is now front and center in the race he's...
The rapper at rest

Ben Carson Hip Hip Hops And He Don’t Stop

It seems gravy shart Jonah Goldberg's Theory Of Ben Carson's Blackness has been proven wise beyond its author's wildest imagination! Yes, Ben Carson -- who according to hip-hop expert Goldberg is so much blacker than Barack Obama he cannot EVEN...
Congratulations, no one will ever know the details, you slime

Sicko Ex-Speaker Dennis Hastert Pleads Guilty, Might Go To Jail For 5 Minutes

Sooo many House speaker SEX SCANDALS since last we checked on (alleged) sick pervert Denny Hastert, the “safe” one who only became speaker in 1999, after all the other preferred choices had to run away in disgrace. We recently lost John...
Not how it works after all

Obamacare-Hating Republican Hates Republicans Now, Loves Obamacare

Remember how we told you all about Luis Lang, that idiot in South Carolina, who loves freedom even more than he hates his diabetes, so he did not purchase health insurance, take THAT, Obama? And now he needs surgery, and...

Idiot Tennessee Rep Knows All The Christians Are Being Holocausted, Just Can’t Say Where

For some reason, the voters of Tennessee's 7th District keep sending Republican Marsha Blackburn back to the House of Representatives, dunno why, because Tennessee, we guess? Blackburn's your standard-issue lady Republican: she knows that women don't really care about...
Paul Ryan, high as fuck

Paul Ryan Knows Real Problem With Welfare Is How Rich Those Poor People Get Off It

Republican Rep. Paul Ryan is the wonky boy genius of the House of Representatives, according to his colleagues and the voice in his head, because he wrote a "budget" one time to privatize Medicare, slash welfare benefits, and tell...

It’s Come To This: Republican Wins JFK ‘Courage’ Prize For Believing Science

So here's how bad our political world has gotten: The 2015 recipient of the John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Award is former South Carolina congressman Bob Inglis, who won the award for being an actual Republican who's willing...
Wait, you're saying she was still on Fox? Huh.

Sarah Palin Is A Communist RINO Now

Niche lifestyle brand Sarah Palin has endorsed a Democrat in Alaska’s race for governor. Really! Former Gov. Sarah Palin has endorsed gubernatorial candidate Bill Walker. "Last night my family, along with Byron and Toni Mallott, and our campaign staff...
He's in charge here

GOP Malcontents’ Doomed, Clumsy Coup Against Boehner Will Totally Work This Time

How's John Boehner doing? Looks like pretty good -- still breathing, still Speaker of the House, still getting incoherently slammed in public by members of his own caucus. The Hill reports they're gonna do another coup! There are meetings!...

Daddy, Dan Sullivan Wants An Alaska Senate Seat NOW!

How much do Sandra and Thomas Sullivan love their son Dan? They love him at least $550,000, according to financial disclosures by two super PACs that are helping Dan beat Democrat Mark Begich in the race for Alaska's Senate...
Turn that poo-face upside down, Sarah.

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Home-Cooked, Hand-Clubbed Fish Dinner

Touch of context for those who are new to this series: a Wonkette commenter named Fartknocker ponied up the cash for us to get a subscription to Sarah Palin's Internet Teevee Channel. The aim of this series is to...

Look At This Total Colorado RINO, Giving Away Slut Pills Like Candy

Ladies and friends of ladies, you will be happy to know that Colorado's radical feminist Rep. Cory Gardner, who is trying real hard to unseat Democratic Sen. Mark Udall, wants to give you all the slut pills for your...