republican

Is it 2016 yet? Have we inaugurated Hillary Clinton already? CNN BREAKING NEWS: No, it is only 2014. Yet rumors persist about who is and is not running for President to replace Our Dreamy Guiding Star of Socialist Hippie Liberalism Barack HU-SANE Obama. It looks like we may have another contender, and she is a […]

Pharrell Williams makes songs that shake booties, including the booty of excellent Congressman John Lewis. That’s great, but it doesn’t speak to Pharrell’s own political beliefs. Only Pharrell himself can do that, and blessed are we because he has recently spoken of them in some detail in GQ. He begins innocently enough: We’re about to […]

Even though our Kenyan Dictator B. Barry Bamz was re-crowned only last year, it is already time to start thinking about the next Presidential election, which also means it is still time to stab ourselves in the eye with a spork everytime Chris Cillizza soils the pages of the Washington Post with the latest meaningless […]

What time is the 2014 State of the Union SOTU Fox News? It is at 8:55 Eastern ET Time. What time is the Wonkette Livebloog time-stamped word salad refresh your browser to update liveblog? IT IS ABOUT AN HOUR AGO. Welcome to part two of your nonsense! Nonsensers! 10:09 p.m.: And we’re back! That was […]

Well, we are in week 2 of what seems to be a shutdown about… something … who really knows at this point? Now that Obamacare is glitchily bumbling along, what, exactly, is the GOP demanding for releasing the hostage? Who cares, at least the government is saving tons of money and the economy is still […]

The Capitol is a large complex consisting of several buildings and a series of underground tunnels connecting them, so it can be a confusing place to navigate. However, Rep. Ralph Hall, a conservative Texas Republican and supporter of traditional marriage, has been in Congress for more than 30 years so surely he knows his way […]

Isn’t that nice, Reagan’s former budget director David A. Stockman has taken to the New York Times to scold at us about debt and government spending and the fact that the “recovery” is a “bubble.” The good news is that we weren’t actually aware that there had been a recovery, so when the bubble pops […]

Well now we have TWO Sadz! First we watched the Span’s rerun of the Gore-Bush debate where Jorge Boosh said things like “an elderly,” and now we have read this Daily Caller piece about a seemingly sort of disassociative old man who is running for Congress (as a Republican) in Michigan, and who may kind […]

Representative Jason Chaffetz, a Republican (duh) from Utah, has a lot in common with his fellow Republicans, given that he thinks that fixing the deficit is a very, very important issue, but! not so important that we should be willing to cut defense spending or let the Bush tax cuts expire to get the job […]

Congressional Representative Robert J. Dold, a Republican (because SHOCKER) from Illinois, is a self-described “small business owner” from Illinois who is very, very concerned about the deficit. As all Very Serious People know, the deficit is the Most Important Challenge facing America today, and it’s not going to fix itself! It will take very specific, […]

Bristol Palin is setting the record straight about ‘putting a ring on it’ vs ‘trial marriage’ (getting dick). Despite her past struggles of tagging hockey players, having a child out of wedlock and pretending to be a Christian, Bristol is super totally not “doing it” with the hot dude your Wonkette said Bristol was totally […]

Republicans’ psycho cousin The American Nazi Party (ANP) registered its first lobbyist this week. They grow up so fast! It seems like just yesterday they were destroying the world! John Bowles, das lobbyist, registered Tuesday with House and Senate offices to represent the ANP.

Here is a bold Internet prediction: the newly off-the-market bronze Floridian frat-mammal Charlie Crist will make a run for the presidency next go-round. After all the work he put into his failed quest for the Republican VP nod this year — everything from endorsing the reanimated corpse of John McCain to asking a lady for […]

ELECTORAL MATHS  11:53 am November 5, 2008

by Sara K. Smith

McCAIN WINS MISSOURI: Not that it matters, but he won it, so there’s that! Won it by a hair under 6,000 votes. [MSNBC]

John McCain used to be famous and handsome, when he was a lot younger, and many “moderates” enjoyed his personality and funny jokes about gorillas raping ladies. Now, however, he is a repulsive old cretin spouting utterly phony wingnut bullshit that he can’t even be bothered to pretend to believe — after all, he believes […]