Wonkette

* As John Bolton steps down, his shoes, though not his mustache, are likely to be filled by Zalmay Khalilzad. [WP, NYT]
* Bolton’s UN colleagues feel like it’s their birthday. [NYT]
* Sam Brownback can’t quit the idea of being President. [WP]
* Republicans will try to muscle through a weird “Abortion Anesthesia Bill” before the close of Congress. [WP]
* President Bush meets with Iraqi Shiite leader who thinks the only policy change America needs is to kick more ass, take less names. [WP, NYT]
* FBI spends too much time investigating mine-sweeper, comes up short on funds for new computer system. [NYT]
* NASA’s plan for a new moon base is supported by space cadets. [WP]
* Paper of record covers DC’s ruthless manipulation of Utah, hunt for most basic constitutional rights. [NYT]

* Janet Reno joins Justice Department Officials from Carter, Reagan, and Clinton administrations to issue a letter against indefinite detention of terror suspects. [WP]
* Embattled federal family planning programs chief Eric Keroack has previously prescribed actual birth control and not just the trusty “pull out” technique. [WP]
* Shattering the myth of government efficiency, contracting procedures at DHS are found to be inconsistent and poorly documented. [WP]
* White House appears willing to drop private accounts from Social Security reform package. [WSJ]
* Rules of Congressional real estate: location, location, and “mine is bigger than yours” bragging rights. [NYT]
* Joe Lieberman hires “Trotskyite Zionist Reaganite” as communications director. [NYT]
* Ohio, not wanting Wonkette to be starved for material, puts Jean Schmidt back in office. [AP]

* Steny Hoyer elected House Majority Leader after a divisive inter-party campaign. Democrats now need to move on and show unity. Nancy Pelosi says, “Let the healing begin.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Steny Hoyer’s not a man, he’s a Congressman. [WP, NYT]
* Bush administration’s pick to head family-planning programs at the Department of Health and Human Services is a strong opponent of the sexing. [WP]
* “It was a preliminary inquiry before, but we found the basis to open up a criminal investigation,” report Florida authorities investigating Mark Foley. [WP]
* Latest war funding request by Bush administration would make Iraq the most expensive conflict since WWII. [USAT]
* John McCain files paperwork to open his presidential exploratory committee, blathers on about Iraq. [WP]
* Beloved Nobel Prize winning economist Milton Friedman has gone to that big free market in the sky. [WP, NYT, WSJ]

* Last vestiges of notoriety not enough for John Edwards to cut the line for Playstation 3 at a North Carolina Wal-Mart. [Outside the Beltway]
* Jim Webb bored of talking about Iraq war, turns attention to class war. [Winds of Change]
* Republican Congressman blames election losses on “rednecks.” [Hotline on Call]
* Control of America’s population growth has been handed to “a fucking insane person.” [Feministing]
* Tonight’s South Park episode lampoons newspaper critic by portraying him as a newspaper employee. [Buzz Machine]
* Internet awash in unanimous praise for Milton Friedman, almost. [Cryptogon]

• Bush still kicking himself for not standing in the Katrina rubble with a bullhorn. [NYT]

• On anniversary of Katrina, Gulf Coast to receive massive influx of administration officials touting successful reconstruction efforts, “despite visual evidence suggesting otherwise.” [NYT]
• Plane crash in Kentucky is first domestic jet accident since November 2001, kills 49. [NYT, USAT]
• Abortion ban showdown comes to South Dakota, November vote could institute strictest laws in country. [WP]
• Osama bin Laden never actually charged with 9/11 crimes because of, “the need to be fair to any defendant.” [WP]
• Baghdad morgue only received 450 bodies this month, down from 1800 last month, Iraqi Prime Minister: ” What you see is an atmosphere of reconciliation.” [LAT]
• Spending on campaign ads up 45% from 2004 level as candidates and consultants discover cable TV. [W$J]
• “Ernesto” is first hurricane of the season, batters impoverished Caribbean nations on way to Florida. [USAT]
• Sad schism between real and fantasy worlds highlighted as “24″ and “The Office” take top Emmy awards. [LAT]

• France recommits larger number of soldiers, takes leadership of the “United Nations Interim Force of Lebanon.” [WP, W$J]

• Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Conn.) has eyes opened during 14th trip to Iraq, says we need “to have a timeline for troop withdrawal.” [WP]
• Bush spends this week fishing with family in Kennebunkport, hiding from Cindy Sheehan, and covering up his New England roots. [WP]
• Emergency contraceptive “Plan B” approved by FDA, to be available in pharmacies without a prescription by the end of the year. [WP, NYT]
• All the big names are going to Iowa pretending to fundraise for mid-terms, but it’s really about 2008. [NYT]
• Kentucky Governor signs plea deal in hiring scandal; Kentucky Attorney General holds press conference, respects seersucker Thursday. [NYT]
• State Department secretive about investigation into Israel breaking secret agreements and secretly using restricted bombs. [NYT]

• Rupert Murdoch carries heads of state in his pocket, “like so many nickels and dimes.” [HuffPo]

• In order to make “Senator Katherine Harris” a reality, she’ll have to succeed where the Mafia and John Kennedy failed. [The DC Universe]
• Ohio’s centuries of bad luck continues, as billboard with gross-out aborted fetus image gets flown over Cleveland. [Evangelical Right]
• Prince “I’m Never Gonna Be King” Harry enjoys fine automobiles, Red Bull, and horseshit. [Borrowing Trouble]
• Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney kicks off nascent presidential campaign by heading to Iowa and blurting racist comment from his honky mouth. [AP]
• Laura Sessions Stepp immortalized by Great Moments In Journalism, still desperately needs to get laid. [Gawker]

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• ABC News is convinced that foreign diplomats in the US are the most passive-aggressive people on the planet. [The Blotter]

• Congress to Smithsonian: eat shit and die. [LA Times]
• Mojo Nixon campaigns in Texas, “If your state don’t have Kinky Friedman, than your state could use some votin’.” [Mojo Nixon]
• The 2006 federal budget deficit is just barely out of medal contention. [Think Progress]
• The exact price Chris Matthews will pay for transparent knowledge of your soul. [Fishbowl DC]
• College Democrats are sure that you can’t raise money for something unless you dress like a five-dollar hooker. [Truth Caucus]
• Controversy at HUD! Agency only hires women with first names ending in “ee”! Some are cute, some are felons! [The Smoking Gun]

Presenting, in the words of one operative, the “Craziest Dear Colleague EVER.” It comes from Representative Dave Weldon, MD (OB/GYN). It continues the proud tradition of creepy old white guys in congress displaying healthy interest in the reproductive cycle, and it’s headlined “Fetus Farming: What Is It? Why Must We Ban It?”

To answer those questions, look after the jump. Or just make them up — it’s what Dr. Representative Weldon did!

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Being generally liberal when it comes to matters of reproductive freedom, we are not quite willing to believe that this isn’t a strong argument by the FDA for legalization of and easy access to birth control: MORE »

We now have Samuel Alito’s own spin on his 1985 admission that the Constitution does not guarantee the right to an abortion. Yesterday, he met with Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-CA), who told reporters that Alito distanced himself from the statement: “What [Alito] said was, ‘It was different then. I was an advocate seeking a job. It was a political job.” MORE »

We read today that the GAO has found the FDA’s review of the proposal to distribute the Plan B “morning-after pill” without a prescription “unusual.” What struck us: FDA staff was told by senior officials that the application “was to be rejected before the staff completed its scientific review and months before the decision was made public.” Burying the lead here — forget about Plan B, what are the FDA officials taking that makes them psychic?! We want a prescription for that. It would eliminate the need for Plan B, if nothing else… “Man, if I had known he was going to get me knocked up, I totally wouldn’t have had those last two Zimas”! MORE »

So SCOTUS nom Samuel Alito wrote in a job application that he was “proud” to have contributed to court cases arguing “that racial and ethnic quotas should not be allowed and that the Constitution does not protect a right to an abortion.” This is does not concern us so much as does the White House feigning surprise at the discovery. What’s going on with the background checks over there, Karl? Also disturbing is the administration’s insistence that whatever we think about Alito, one shouldn’t go around believing what he says: “Anybody who would read this letter from 20 years ago as an indication that he would overturn Roe v. Wade is jumping to conclusions.” Right. Wait until he chains himself to an abortion clinic, then you can talk. MORE »