reporters
Terrified DNC Reporters Trapped Inside Filthy Butthole Murder Motels, Nation Laughs
There is a crisis, in Charlotte, that outweighs all other crises in America — including “the gaffes” — right now: the DNC assigned reporters to a bunch of shitty motels and they’re unhappy. And how does the Democratic platform address this? What about the Republican platform? Not a mention, proving once and for all that [...]
Who Is Chris Christie Yelling At Today?
More like who ISN’T Chris Christie yelling at! It is why America loves him. For reminding us all of an abusive stepdad! Also who doesn’t want to just yell at everybody, all the time? Especially any reporter who would be so stupid, such a moronic idiot, as to actually ask a question that was not [...]
House Urinal Explodes: All House Reporters Soaked In Piss, Hopefully
Where were you on 6/4/12? This is the day that America got its groove back, after the world’s worst people — reporters — in the world’s worst institution — the House of Representatives — saw a urinal explode and soak them in pee and chewing tobacco pouches and mostly 100% water, more likely, but also [...]
Campaign Reporters Officially Out Of Questions, Time For Everyone To Come Home
NEW: Romney just said that Augusta National should admit women as members, our @peterhambycnn reports. #GenderWars #tcot #tlot — Lisa Desjardins (@LisaDCNN) April 5, 2012 Romney says “of course” women should be admitted to Augusta National, per @GarrettNBCNews. — Mike O’Brien (@mpoindc) April 5, 2012 Romney just told reporters on the ropeline that women should [...]
Rush Limbaugh Laughs and Laughs At Hippie Journalists Detained In Egypt
Screaming radio lunatics agree: Egypt is the go-to place for “epic lolz” right now, what with all the protesters being shot dead in the streets and secret police vans plowing through crowds of unarmed civilians! And what about all those foreign journalists being rounded up? This is also very hilarious, is it not? America’s favorite [...]
Racist Monster Carl Paladino Almost Punches New York Reporter in the Face
Carl Paladino is not getting along with the newspapermen and women who comprise America’s distinguished Press Corps. Why is this? Did these humorless reporters not enjoy the pictures of Barack Obama eating fried chicken-flavored watermelon, the ones Paladino forwarded to them, Subject: “LOL! I’m RACIST”? Apparently not, and to make matters worse, Paladino almost beat [...]
Washington Press Corps Just One Big Book-Publishing Scam
There are, in 2010, only two types of political books that get published. Actually there are more, but let’s just say there are two. The first is for elected or appointed officials or staffers, whose financial incentive is to not fix or help the country in any way while on the job, quit after a [...]
Left-Wing Liberal Blogs To Destroy Sanctity Of White House Pool Reports
The most challenging investigative task a prominent Washington journalist could ever face in his or her career is to cover the White House Pool Report beat, where our greatest reporters take turns following the President during off-hours — just in case anything like a sex affair or juicy “gaffe” happens — and then share the [...]
More Terrible Email Requests From Media Seeking An Audience With Mark Sanford
South Carolina’s embarrassing Argentine love-tango scandal may have made its governor look bad, but two parties have emerged from this sad nightmare smelling like little roses: Jenny Sanford, and The State newspaper. Yesterday the paper released a pack of hilariously sycophantic requests from various media outlets to Governor Sanford’s office suggesting that — !!! — [...]
Insane Press Lady Dragged From Air Force One Press Area
Oh god this is too good: “The AP’s Christina Hoag reports that Brenda Lee, a reporter for the Georgia Informer, was dragged kicking and screaming from the press area near Air Force One at Los Angeles International airport (LAX) Thursday morning… KTLA reports that Lee is a self-proclaimed ‘Roman Catholic priestess.’ Lee claims she was [...]
Reporter Lady In Kerfuffle With Blagojevich, At Disneyworld
Wacky whore & fraud Rod Blagojevich, who was indicted on 16 counts of epic corruption in Chicago yesterday, is currently on vacation at the Florida amusement park Walt Disney World. Oh, and he is with his family. Some local teevee reporter lady got wind of this yesterday and went to his hotel pool area to [...]
Jim Bunning… Does New Funny Jim Bunning Things
Mark your calendars for the year 2010 everyone, because there’s going to be at least one 2006-George-Allen-level comedic midterm race. Baseball pitcher Sen. Jim Bunning is running for reelection in Kentucky and will lose, loudly. Bunning resurfaced in the media recently for telling a pancreatic cancer-stricken Ruth Bader Ginsburg that she should go die alone, [...]
HERE’S A FUN PRESS CORPS GAME CALLED “STEAL POLITICO’S SEAT!” We rather like the anecdotes in this FiveThirtyEight post about how oppressed bloggers are always trying to steal Politico‘s seat at White House press briefings, only to be caught minutes later by confused Politico reporters. This could be a fun daily game! So we ask [...]
Politico Writers Are Rich! TAX THEM!
The New Republic‘s Gabriel Sherman has a lovely new story out about the dystopian hell chamber that is the Politico newsroom. The snarling, leprous leadership of Jim VandeHei and John Harris (a.k.a. “VandeHarris,” or simply, “AnusHair”) greets its intrepid blog reporters each morning at 5:30 a.m. with a hot shower of molten lava, followed by [...]
Ex-McCain Reporters Hold Drunk Karaoke Party With Ex-McCain Staff
The whole point of covering a John McCain presidential campaign for a major news outlet is to make (potentially sexy) friendships with McCain and his senior staff, so as to, uh, “know your subject better,” as some have described it. And now they never get to see each other anymore! And Obama is an asshole [...]
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