Tag Archives: repeal and replace

  fail

Marco Rubio WINS THE INTERNET With Announcement For … No He Doesn’t

This picture is from Rubio's website. On purpose, apparently.
After hinting oh-so-subtly for days and days that he had a Big Announcement! to make on Monday evening, Marco Rubio made a Big Announcement! He is going to be president (no he’s not), but not just any president. He is going to be president of A New American CenturyTM, because he is young and hip and SO down with the kids these days that he doesn’t even need to capitalize his name. THAT is how hip he is. Unlike some candidates (Hillary Clinton), who are really old (Hillary Clinton), and represent yesterday (Hillary Clinton). Read more on Marco Rubio WINS THE INTERNET With Announcement For … No He Doesn’t…
  cruz control

McConnell, Cruz Prepare For Epic Dick-Measuring Contest

“Come now, be reasonable.” On the Fateful November Tuesday That Shall Not Be Named (the one in 2014, not 2010), Calgary’s own Ted Cruz sat down with Wolf Blitzer and was asked if he’d support Mitch McConnell as the next Senate majority leader. Cruz declined to say, as he’s done since August, mostly because Ted Cruz is pretty sure you don’t even need a majority if you’ve already got the smartest, bestest Sen. Ted Cruz on the market. Read more on McConnell, Cruz Prepare For Epic Dick-Measuring Contest…
  But He Won't Do That

Gov. Kasich Will Still Murder Your Obamacare, Ohio, Except For All The Parts Of It

Mentoring means the kids get Mentos, right?
This one makes a lot of sense: Ohio Gov. John Kasich kind of embarrassed himself by speaking a very uncomfortable truth Monday, saying that even though Republicans like to talk about repealing Obamacare, it’s just “not gonna happen,” and that Republican opposition to the Affordable Care Act was “really either political or ideological.” Or at least that’s what the Associated press quoted him as saying. Read more on Gov. Kasich Will Still Murder Your Obamacare, Ohio, Except For All The Parts Of It…
  The Definition of Insanity

Won’t You Help Republicans In The Senate Get Their Chance To Repeal Obamacare, America?

Sen. Rob Portman (R-Iron Man) is always surprising us! He displayed stunning acting range playing Barack Obama in debate prep for two generations of GOP presidential contenders, he suddenly contracted human empathy for the gays last year after he found out his son was one of them, and now he’s shaking American politics to its very foundation by vowing that when Republicans seize back the Senate in November and lock Harry Reid in that little room under the stairs, they’ll get busy right away on their groundbreaking new idea of repealing Obamacare. Read more on Won’t You Help Republicans In The Senate Get Their Chance To Repeal Obamacare, America?…
  one more time oh yeah all right don't stop repealin'

House Reaches Sentimental 50th Vote To Block Obamacare

There’s a festive mood in Washington as Republicans in the House of Representatives are getting ready for their 50th vote to repeal/block/defund/delay/waterboard the Affordable Care Act — you just can’t go wrong with the classics, can you? This time around, the proposal (as if it mattered) would “effectively delay the individual mandate for one year by reducing the penalty in 2014 for not buying insurance from $95 to $0.” This variation on killing Obamacare is the brainchild of Kansas Republican Lynn Jenkins, who just wanted her chance to introduce a bill to stop Obamacare too. And since it’s an election year, there still have to be a few of the 232 Republicans who haven’t had a turn introducing a bill to kill the ACA. That’s just math. What kind of gift do you get for the 50th failing attempt do something, anyway? Gold seems a bit extravagant… Maybe a photocopy of a Goldline ad? Read more on House Reaches Sentimental 50th Vote To Block Obamacare…
  fisted by the invisible hand

Republican Alternative To Obamacare: Raise Middle Class Taxes While Yelling ‘Free Market!’

Now don’t you go saying that the Republicans just want to repeal the Affordable Care Act without having any plans for a replacement — as a matter of fact, on Monday, three GOP senators — Tom Coburn, Richard Burr, and Orrin “Giggles” Hatch — introduced an exciting plan that would not only repeal Obamacare, but also replace it with a market-based alternative that is not a huge socialist tax increase on working Americans, because it is a huge free market tax increase on working Americans. For freedom. Read more on Republican Alternative To Obamacare: Raise Middle Class Taxes While Yelling ‘Free Market!’…
  dunno probably tax cuts

Vote Now! What Will Be In The GOP’s Replacement For Obamacare?

Exciting news for any of you who hate medical care and socialism! The Republicans in Congress are working with America’s Next Top President Mitt Romney to coordinate a plan for what will be in their bills replacing Obamakkkare! The GOP took control of the House last year promising to “repeal and replace” Mr. Obama’s signature health law. So far, House Republicans have held dozens of votes on repeal, but they have yet to produce a broad replacement bill that would try to boost coverage without resorting to the mandate to buy insurance that Mr. Obama’s plan employs — a mandate that is now the subject of a Supreme Court challenge. That is all very interesting (not really), but we wonder what will be in their modest package of bills? Great things, or the GREATEST things? Read more on Vote Now! What Will Be In The GOP’s Replacement For Obamacare?…