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Tag: repeal and replace

Silly Paul Ryan ‘Dabs’ While Taking Healthcare From Millions Of Americans

Paul Ryan had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad town hall last night.
Hope you've been making regular contributions to your health savings account...

Senate Dems Skip College Sportsball Game To Talk All Night About Obamacare. Is That Even Legal?

Senate Democrats held a talkathon to call attention to how Americans will be hurt if the ACA is repealed. Now get talking to your own senators and representatives.

Bernie Sanders To Donald Trump: *Somebody’s* Doing The Lying!

Bernie Sanders is back in the Senate, and HE'S GOT VISUAL AIDS.
Bill, you silver-tongued devil, you...

Bill Clinton Clarifies He Never Had Hate-Sex With Obamacare

Thanks a lot, Bill!

Ted Cruz Fails To Convince Disabled Man’s Family That Obamacare Is Terrible

At a campaign stop in Evansville, Indiana, Ted Cruz happened upon a Scott, a disabled man, and his family. It did not go well.

How Paul Ryan Failed As House Speaker In Record Time: A Wonksplainer

Paul Ryan gained the Speaker’s Gavel after everyone and their mother determined that he was THE ONLY ONE who could save the GOP from disastrous dumbassery after Crybaby McDrunkerson decided to peace out. While Ryan demurred like a coy...

Marco Rubio Loves Obamacare, For People Named Marco Rubio

Florida's senator-in-name-only is so bad at all the things. That's why no one thinks Marco Rubio is going to be president (except for morons on Team Jeb, who believe Rubio is just like Obama, and will thus be a two-term...
Don't badger me for more details.

Scott Walker Will Repeal And Replace Obamacare With Unicorns And Pixie Farts

Scott Walker has a busy first day in the office penciled in for January of 2017. First he’s going to rip up the multilateral deal on Iran’s nuclear program and bomb those Persian Muslin ragheads back to the Pleistocene...
Why don't you pass the time in the ER with a game of solitaire?

Donald Trump Will Repeal Obamacare, Replace It With Terrific Fence

Donald Trump has the YOOGEST, CLASSIEST plan ever to replace Obamacare, and it's going to be so incredible, it will probably blow his already-perfect plans for defeating ISIS out of the water, that's how good it is. On CNN...
This picture is from Rubio's website. On purpose, apparently.

Marco Rubio WINS THE INTERNET With Announcement For … No He Doesn’t

After hinting oh-so-subtly for days and days that he had a Big Announcement! to make on Monday evening, Marco Rubio made a Big Announcement! He is going to be president (no he's not), but not just any president. He is going...
"Come now, be reasonable."

McConnell, Cruz Prepare For Epic Dick-Measuring Contest

On the Fateful November Tuesday That Shall Not Be Named (the one in 2014, not 2010), Calgary's own Ted Cruz sat down with Wolf Blitzer and was asked if he'd support Mitch McConnell as the next Senate majority leader. Cruz...
He's like Tim Pawlenty without the charisma

Gov. Kasich Will Still Murder Your Obamacare, Ohio, Except For All The Parts Of It

This one makes a lot of sense: Ohio Gov. John Kasich kind of embarrassed himself by speaking a very uncomfortable truth Monday, saying that even though Republicans like to talk about repealing Obamacare, it's just "not gonna happen," and...

Won’t You Help Republicans In The Senate Get Their Chance To Repeal Obamacare, America?

Sen. Rob Portman (R-Iron Man) is always surprising us! He displayed stunning acting range playing Barack Obama in debate prep for two generations of GOP presidential contenders, he suddenly contracted human empathy for the gays last year after he...

House Reaches Sentimental 50th Vote To Block Obamacare

There's a festive mood in Washington as Republicans in the House of Representatives are getting ready for their 50th vote to repeal/block/defund/delay/waterboard the Affordable Care Act -- you just can't go wrong with the classics, can you? This time...
Privatized death panels are just fine

Republican Alternative To Obamacare: Raise Middle Class Taxes While Yelling ‘Free Market!’

Now don't you go saying that the Republicans just want to repeal the Affordable Care Act without having any plans for a replacement -- as a matter of fact, on Monday, three GOP senators -- Tom Coburn, Richard Burr,...

Vote Now! What Will Be In The GOP’s Replacement For Obamacare?

Exciting news for any of you who hate medical care and socialism! The Republicans in Congress are working with America's Next Top President Mitt Romney to coordinate a plan for what will be in their bills replacing Obamakkkare! The GOP...