• In case there was still any doubt as to why MTV will never do a season of Real World in DC: a Francis Fukuyama/Charles Krauthammer blowjob scene. [The Corsair]

• If a journalist writes 4000 words on the relevance of journalism in the internet age, and every reader does the first-n-last paragraph scan, do the other 3900 words exist? [New Yorker]
• Referring to the large number of Boston police officers testing positive for marijuana, Urban League CEO says, “it seems like it’s a chronic problem.” [Boston Globe]
• Mention the Washington Time and bad puns spew forth like diarrhea from the mouth. [Fishbowl DC]

• An Egyptian conspiracy-theory music video with cartoon representations of America and Israel is the depressing comic gold Ionesco warned us about. [Andrew Sullivan]
• Novelist Frederick Forsyth loves global terrorism, couldn’t pay mortgage without it. [Galleycat]
• Iraq party scene soon to explode, and not with bombs this time. [Mother Jones]
• Crawford, TX has a new fake ranch owner. [Star-Telegram]
• Fred Phelps has a son, and that son has a cute ass. [You Tube]

MORE »

• Sweet old lady hates Bush so much she works a room of children into a murderous rage. Grandma’s Militia now on terrorist watch list.
  [The Australian] MORE »

• CIA confirms it’s still the evilest motherfucker on the block by firing DC blogger “Econo-Girl” for a post stating, “torture is wrong.” [Econo-Girl]

• The Brookings Institute focuses the full intellect of their army of PhDs and comes up with “it sucks to be poor.” [NYT]
• Cynthia McKinney and Cindy Sheehan: who got served? [Sweetness & Light]
• Web-editors of Hezbollah’s official website live in fear that one day they will forget to put “Israel ” in quotation marks, and find an envelope on their desks with more than a pink slip in it. [ Alghaliboun.net]
• Annoying Emergency Broadcast System “beeeeep” to be replaced by whatever annoying ringtone you happen to be using. Which actually might not be a bad idea. [WFMU; The Local]
• Why does the government spend so much money? You gotta pander to win. [Heritage.org]

• Lou Dobbs doesn’t know shit about the Middle East, but neither do you. [CNN]

• Potential government jurisdiction clusterfuck over Bush’s s-bomb drop. [Fishbowl DC]
• Apparently, firing a missile at someone isn’t smack talk enough, as “your mamma” jokes now getting written on Lebanon bound rockets. [AP]
• A picture of Putin as a small boy just yearning for some tummy-kissing-man-love. [Iran Defense]
• Rush Limbaugh’s “Viagra-fueled boners” convince him to cite a lady blogger whose statistics seem to come from, “out of her anal cavity.” [James Wolcott]

• Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky is completely right, we must “plug the donut hole.” [Hill Blog]

• CNN is there for you, no matter how bad it gets. [Drink At Work]
• A little ditty, bout Jack and Dan - two American has-beens, doin’ the best they can. [Newsmax]
• Any government employee who says they do it for their country is lying, it’s all about the foreign poontang. [Girls Are Pretty]
• Jim Kolbe spends worthwhile money, not no tens and twenties. [CNN Money]

• Wolf Blitzer closes his eyes, counts to three, and wishes that when he opens them all the dead Palestinians will be gone. [HuffPo]

• Small Pennsylvania town increases illegality of illegal immigrants, sick birds. [AP]
• Sign Katherine Harris’s online get well card! Then feign shock when her robot voice won’t stop calling you for campaign donations. [Elect Harris]
• Capitol Historical Society to host reception for “departing” members of Congress, most honorees to arrive by paddy wagon. [Copley News Service]
• Young America’s Foundation staffed by assholes really into IM. [Campus Progress]
• Soon to be the most compressive source for photos of politicians eating babies in the world! [Flickr]

• It’s time to break out the good drugs - DJ Ted Stevens is on the ones and twos. [Bold Headed]

• All of DJ Ted’s 25 friends will be there. [MySpace]
• Dick Cheney can’t share a bed with a woman who doesn’t know what its like to shoot someone in the face. [Rock Creek Rambler]
• Iraqi security forces are now in complete control of a whole lot of sand, some scorpions, and maybe also tumbleweeds. [1115.org]
• A Fox News reporter gets shot at in Gaza by an Israeli robot. Luckily, his “fox friends” remind him to “skeedattle,” and the audience that, “bad guys shoot at anything.” [Raw Story]
• Both readers of the Cedar Rapids Gazette fail to notice Ann Coulter’s column has been dropped. [E&P]

• The DCCC is so committed to the environment they’re recycling stock photos and a Bill Clinton quote for America’s “new direction.” [DCCC]

• Rahm Emanuel hates Blake Gottesman as much as you do. [K Street Blues]
• Also, just like you, Vladimir Putin thinks, “shot a man in the face,” is a punch line that doesn’t get old. [Mother Jones]
• Jon Stewart is unfazed by the possibility that expanding his empire will dilute the brand. [Gawker]
• Mark “Tool-y” is so far to the right he makes Genghis Kahn look like, “Ted Kennedy in a pot haze after a James Taylor concert.” [Evangelical Right]
• If “She-Jack’s” office was in a gilded crystal spire in the sky it would still feel like a dungeon. [The Hill]