So we were flipping through Christianity Today — we read it for the articles! — and saw that the Religious Right doesn’t want to be called the Religious Right anymore, because they are losers, and they have failed, finally. What to call these Trans-fat Taliban of the Unemployed American Heartland? Let’s have a fun poll! MORE »

Many have commented on this strange new ticking time-bomb version of MikeHuckabee.com. It appears that he is not nuking the earth with space rockets, as most assumed. Instead, he is starting some strange new right-wing christian “political organization,” because Lord knows we need more of that. He’ll explain it tonight on a conference call, to nobody. [MikeHuckabee.com, Jonathan Martin]

Last month in New Orleans, a secret cabal of leaders from the Christian right met to discuss their evil plans. Among them was Paul Weyrich, a big wig with the Moral Majority, Heritage Foundation and the super-secret Council for National Policy. Weyrich had previously supported Mittens “Mitt” Romney, and took the occasion to apologize for not supporting Mike Huckabee, the bass-playing Arkansas ex-fattie who people only liked because he told comical jokes written by your grandfather. MORE »

* National Governors Association winter meeting like a Miss America pageant — Governors just want to help poor little sick children. [WP, NYT]
* The Governors also give advice to each other about running for President. Haley Barbour fulfils his contractual obligation for one Civil War reference per sound bite. [NYT]
* In other antebellum news, Al Sharpton finds out his ancestors were slaves to more than just a buffet line. [WP]
* John Edwards’ staff orders him to spend Sunday night watching A Few Good Men after telling Bob Schieffer that “Americans can handle the truth.” [WP]
* Congress living by the letter, not spirit of the “no joyriding in lobbyists’ Gulfstreams” law. [USAT]
* White House warns Pakistan that aid money might decrease if they don’t find Osama, and that it’s totally Democrats fault. [NYT]
* The Christian RightTM is having a hard time finding a Presidential candidate that hates all the right things. [NYT]
* House will try to make amends for all that trouble in Holland, 1945. [NYT]

Illustration from Robert Lanham’s The Sinner’s Guide to the Evangelical Right, which is an awesome book. MORE »

Gentlemen, start your praying!

“Did you know, ladies and gentlemen, that every day we inflict on ourselves another 9/11?”
-Gary Bauer

It was certainly news to us, but not to the thousand or so people watching with rapt attention the funny little man behind the podium at the Family Research Council’s (or FRC Action, their lobbying arm) “Washington Briefing” (or “Values Voters Summit“) last weekend. Gary Bauer — former head of the FRC ’til he pissed off the Christian Right by running for president, having an adultery scandal, and endorsing John McCain in 2000 — was the prodigal nutcase, welcomed with open arms as he riled the crowd up with stirring rhetoric that, unfortunately, came from a guy who looks and sounds like Radar from M*A*S*H.

The conference lasted all weekend, and we were at, uh, part of it. Exciting coverage of Gary, Ann Coulter, Newt Gingrich, and yes, future United States Senator Katherine Harris (complete with pictures from Liz Gorman, Intrepid and Creeped Out Girl Reporter), is after the jump.

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Mr. Falwell, you’ve changed. For the better. MORE »

* Feingold cozies up to fringe liberals and same-sex couples; Dems take back his friendship bracelet. [Captain's Quarters]
* The Religious Right parties with Catholics, Mormons, and Muslims to propagate a pro-life agenda. Venue of choice: the United Nations. [Political Cortex]
* Meet Vikas and Oswaldo, two foreigners working in America. One arrived by plane, the other by a flatbed truck under a pile of hay. One lived like a eunuch, the other like a man who saw flashing FREE DAYCARE lights above P.S. 127. Guess which one’s not a welcome guest, even if McCain and Kennedy say so. [Right Wing News]
* Dems flirt with two-jobs-and-18-credit-hours college girls on the Pill. [The Fly Trap]
* DeLay’s stale cologne lingers on our shirts. Who’s strong enough to get theirs dry-cleaned? [DailyKos]

An atheist student group in Texas has set up shop on their campus offering to exchange porn for Bibles. A religious type was predictably offended: “In my opinion, there are no atheists. There are fools.”And you shall know them by hair on their palms. Except the real fools are folks not LINING UP for this great offer. So far, they’ve only given away five skin mags. We think the reaction would be different in D.C. Though, it’s true, Clarence Thomas would argue that shouldn’t have to choose. MORE »