Tag: religion

Beast Jebus is BEST Jebus!

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why U Make Baby Jebus Cry, Wonkette? WHY?

Wonkette made fun of Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump's pretended outreach to evangelicals. Clearly, we hate Christians and want to impose Sharia. Duh.
Really can't go wrong with this pic. Or the corndog.

Michele Bachmann Makes Donald Trump’s ‘Evangelical Advisory Board,’ Wasn’t Busy Anyway

Donald Trump went and got himself a bunch of top rightwing Christian thought leaders to join his newly-announced 'evangelical advisory board.' He got Michele Bachmann, too.
Gary Larson did it better. But Trump IS a vulture...

Donald Trump Just Wondering If Hillary Is A Muslim Or What. You Know, Like Her Girlfriend Maybe.

Donald Trump is questioning Hillary Clinton's faith. And her commitment to Sparkle Motion.

Only People Cheering Orlando Mass Murder Are Two Fundamentalist Christians

Here come Walid Shoebat and Pastor Steven L. Anderson to kill your faith in humanity.

Donald Trump Thinks Barack Obama Is An Actual Muslim Terrorist, Better Nuke The White House

Trump's plan for fighting terrorism? Just saying the words 'Radical Islamic Terrorism' over and over again until it stops.

Pat Boone Is Butthurt For God

Pat Boone, one of the stars of the insufferable Christian agitprop movie God's Not Dead II: He's Pining For The Fjords, is very displeased with those anti-God ruffians at Saturday Night Live for mocking his movie. Mind you, it's...

Ted Cruz Narrowly Escapes Jaws Of Muslim Brotherhood

It's a day, so Ted Cruz is being a dick. Monday morning, he told a gay man at a town hall in New York how much he loves religious liberty, and how it applies to EVERYBODY, including Christians, Jews, atheists, and...
It's in the Bible.

Kentucky Senate Protects Christian Cake Bakers From Dirty Cake-Obsessed Homosexuals

Oh glory hallelujah, another state has stepped up to mitigate the destruction being visited upon Jesus-loving bakers, candlestick makers, butchers and fortune-telling prostitutes by the dirty homosexual demons who persecute them so, by offering to give them money for...

Missouri Democrats Literally Could Not Shut Up About Gay People This Week

If you happen to be passing through the Missouri state house today, there are some Democratic state senators who deserve a pat on the back and whatever free Frosty coupons you might have lying around, because they tried VERY...

Sarah Palin Would Never Judge You For Not Loving Jesus, As Long As You’re Donald Trump

Oh ho ho ho ho, you want to eat a fried moose sandwich with OMG hypocrisy sauce for breakfast this morning, the day of the big Iowa caucuses? Sarah Palin, whose latest grift (except for this one) is writing...
Except it's actually LARYCIA, and the Lord misspelled it.

Christian College To Fire Professor For Actin’ Christlike Toward Yucky Muslims

Wheaton College near Chicago is a dumb, bad place. It's one of those institutions of higher learning everybody and their intelligent mothers would view as a Safety School, if a life of drug-addled panhandling doesn't work out, but for evangelicals, it's...
Fa la la la la, la la la SHART

‘Fox & Friends’ Jizz Their Stockings In Yuletide Rage

Two of the unique strains of brain syphilis that sit on the "Fox & Friends" couch every morning have finded a real War On Christmas! Oh so exciting! You see, there is this school in Brooklyn, P.S. 169, and...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: What’s The Deal With The Breast Milk, Huh?

Welcome back, friends, and a Chappy Chanukkah to our friends of the Abrahamic persuasion! It's time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, a weekly mashup of the creepiest, crawliest, most lurid tales of depravity and sin this side...

Fox Doesn’t Find Your Zombie Jesus Jokes Funny, Young Man

Have you heard about the zombies? Zombie Mary and Zombie Joseph and little Zombie Baby Jesus, away in a manger on some dude's lawn in Sycamore Township, Ohio? Yes, the Zombie Nativity Scene is a thing. Quite a thing!...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Deep In The Heart Of Stupid

Greetings, pardners, and welcome once again to the Snake Oil Bulletin. We've got us a rootin', tootin', hole-in-head-shootin' round of stories on the agenda this week, all taking place in that great throbbing, barbecue-thrombosed heart of America, Texas! Yeehaw!...

Egypt Does Archaeological Dig On Ben Carson’s Brain, Discovers A Idiot

Brilliant neurosurgeon (OR IS HE?) Ben Carson is officially an international disgrace. Congratulations, doctor! You have now joined the elite ranks of several other Republican presidential candidates who have forced foreign nations to "Well, ACTUALLY" them, for their stupidity. Other...