Wonkette

* Video footage of this morning’s high-speed, multi-county car chase. [Metroblogging DC]
* Review of Rehab at DCAC. [Solarize This ...]
* For the golfer. [DCist]
* List of DC’s outdoor author sculptures, Dante, Puskin, Neruda, more Dante. [The Happy Booker]
* Guster is apparently pretty famous. [Last Second Thoughts]

• Heard on the Hill: Mark Foley is out of “rehab.” The Arizona facility he went to treats alcoholism, “eating disorders, sexual addiction/compulsivity, obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression” … Kirk Fordham, former Tom Reynolds and Foley CoS, is still hanging around the Hill, annoying fellow republicans… John Boehner demanded the Republican leadership sing him his self-penned “Birthday Song” … John Kerry downed Tequila shots with Marines at Finn MacCool’s. [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Things to talk about with your family over Thanksgiving. Because you hate them. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: The Examiner will now be sued by Robert Steinbuch for revealing that his students think he’s a perv… Aide to Sen. Susan Collins sends out memo about fonts: “After reviewing a variety of typefaces to see whether they might prove more readable than the current protocol of 16-point Times Roman bold for speeches, statements and talking points, Senator Collins has decided that she would like to use Lucida Bright.” [Examiner]

Here’s your Friday News Dump: Convicted Abramoff bribe-taker, problem gambler and hopeless alcoholic Ohio Rep. Bob Ney has finally resigned from the House.

Congressional Quarterly is breaking this, right here. Our CQ spy says, “Rather hilariously, we can’t find anyone in the House Clerk’s office to confirm receipt of his resignation letter.” Ah, the endless charms of the Friday Night News Dump. Dirty details after the jump.

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Brian Ross’ crack team of Blotters has once again taken the Foley Story to the next level. He’s not with the Scientology space monsters at all!

Former Rep. Mark Foley checked himself into the Sierra Tucson Treatment Center in Arizona two days after he resigned from Congress in disgrace, ABC News has learned.

Lawyers for Foley confirm he’s been an inpatient at the facility since Oct. 1.

Actually, nobody found Foley. ABC News just got hold of a press release from Foley’s lawyers (PDF) that says he’s in the program until Halloween, please leave him alone, etc. He could still be anywhere on Earth, and is most likely following the Old 97’s around the country. MORE »

So, uh, now we feel a little bit bad. ‘Cause, we were just having a bit of fun, you know, and considering that the two options available for Patrick Kennedy’s weird behavior were either a) plain ol’ Kennedy-approved alcohol and b) hilarious drug mix-up, we thought, well, no harm. MORE »