Tag Archives: redstate

  george w. bush is not a noun

FREE LEARNING SESSIONS OVER AT REDSTATE: Erick Erickson prepares to make an epic argument: “Let’s review our grammar for one moment. A noun is a word that defines what an object is, i.e. a dog. An adjective is a word that describes one attribute of the noun, i.e. the dog is brown. The noun is the dog because that defines the object in question and the adjective is the color of the dog, describing one attribute of the dog.” Next week: prepositions! Be scared! [RedState] Read more on …
  #1 internet blog

Watch RedState Struggle In Vain To Make “Democrats Have A War On Breasts” Meme Happen

RedState’s #1 duosyllabic unisex clown Moe Lane has a lot of big feelings about the recent announcement that some panel now suggests women don’t have to get annual mammograms until they are 50. Now: Moe Lane isn’t an oncologist, nurse, researcher, lawyer, insurance company employee, or federal government employer per se, but he feels pretty confident that HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius’ recommendation that everyone ignore the panel’s findings is some sort of big government conspiracy thing, maybe, to secretly strengthen bureaucracy or something (?). So confident, in fact, that RedSate has a new proto-failed meme: “The War on Breasts.” Read more on Watch RedState Struggle In Vain To Make “Democrats Have A War On Breasts” Meme Happen…
  can we have one too?

Olympia Snowe, Melted. Next?

For RedState, the time has come to fling poop toys at a Blue Dog Democrat. Erick Erickson writes, “Here’s the thing — if we make Earl Pomeroy’s life extremely painful for the next week, Republicans are going to think twice about jumping ship and so will a lot of the Blue Dog Democrats.” The actual Oxford-Harvard dictionary definition of “extremely painful” is “have some toy poop show up at your office in North Dakota.” It is more painful than cancer & Hitler combined. [RedState via Salon/War Room] Read more on Olympia Snowe, Melted. Next?…
  swoon!

Erick Erickson’s Casual Misogyny Raises Some Important Queries!

Oh hey girlfriends! Erick Erickson is so confused because how do all the gals, all of them, not love Obama’s health care plan when Obama himself is such a dreamboat? It’s weird right? Ha ha, it’s like, unless we’re like a bunch of lesbians we should be on board with this thing automatically. It’s called biology, and it’s a science—or so the boys tell us! [RedState] Read more on Erick Erickson’s Casual Misogyny Raises Some Important Queries!…
  "snowe job"

Erick Erickson’s Snowe Job Is In The Big Leagues Now You Guys!

Here is the Wall Street Journal‘s important journalistic follow-up expose on Erick Erickson’s infallible plan to convenience Olympia Snowe out of office, forever. Erick Erickson was so stoked yesterday about getting a call from the WSJ, and check out all this killer contextualization he did. Read more on Erick Erickson’s Snowe Job Is In The Big Leagues Now You Guys!…
  'internet activism'

Pieces Of Red State ‘Send Rock Salt To Snowy Clime, As A Protest’ Plan Falling In Place

Looking forward to this WSJ article, based on this epic thing. Can you imagine how many votes Olympia Snowe will win for life if her staffers go neighborhood to neighborhood giving each household a bag of rock salt for the winter? [Twitter] Read more on Pieces Of Red State ‘Send Rock Salt To Snowy Clime, As A Protest’ Plan Falling In Place…
  arguably better than the olympics

More On Obama’s Gold Medal For Peace, With RedState.com Reaction Shotzz!

So! Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize this morning and everyone on Earth—and the moon, way 2 stick it out moon!—could not be more surprised. Look at Robert Gibbs, just cold saying “wow” on a Twitter thing belonging to CBS person Mark Knoller! And “Erick Erickson,” some sort of retarded cousin of Robbie Robertson and #1 journalist on top Internet destination RedState.com is just a little caught off guard because he “did not realize the Nobel Peace Prize had an affirmative action quota for it.” Someone get Erick Erickson every single gold medal from the 2016 Olympics. Read more on More On Obama’s Gold Medal For Peace, With RedState.com Reaction Shotzz!…
  the spirit of skidmore

RedState Discovers Best Museum In World History

Someone sends RedState a photo of this unfunded, dinky thing, in Texas, and Erick Erickson writes, “We need that spirit in this country. We need the Spirit of Skidmore.” As tipster “Michael E.” writes, “An example of some garbage museum that the conservatives think should be the gold standard. ‘Welcome to the Smithsonian Institution, now without federal of state funding, open Sunday 3-5PM!!'” Indeed. It’s easy to maintain a museum when all it features is a bunch of old, rusty mechanical shit laying around the parking lot. [RedState] Read more on RedState Discovers Best Museum In World History…
  rumors on the internets

Republicans Wait Patiently For That Special Someone

Their fingers are bedecked in all kinds of purity jewelry, for they have taken an oath of abstinence, a solemn promise to wait until Rush Limbaugh tells them it’s okay to say “yes” to something other than anal. But until then, the Republicans must fight the lustful Yes Demons in their heads. [Think Progress] Read more on Republicans Wait Patiently For That Special Someone…
  rumors on the internets

Barack Obama Wears A Crown Of Painful Bailout Thorns, For YOU!

Matt Yglesias writes about Refrigerator Policy. [Matt Yglesias] The Taliban Hobbyist Kit: Buy 1 pickup truck, get 1 AK-47 FREE! While supplies last, in Missouri. [Think Progress] If you wouldn’t mind, would you take a look at this cartoon for a moment? So as you can see, the National Deficit is represented by black asphalt/goo? Anyway. If this comic is supposed to criticize Obama for adding to the deficit, shouldn’t he be adding more goo, instead removing a huge-ass chunk of it, with an excavator? [RedState] Read more on Barack Obama Wears A Crown Of Painful Bailout Thorns, For YOU!…
  rumors on the internets

Meet Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Guest Editor of RedState

Barack Obama and Bundesrepublik Deutschland Wurstdame Angela Merkel had an awkward relationship in the ’80s, but now they are willing to put the past behind them and cut a deal. Prediction: Merkel gets AIG and Obama gets to massage Merkel’s muscular shoulders. It is peace for our time. [HuffPost] Read more on Meet Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Guest Editor of RedState…
  dogs and cats living together

Calm, Positive Assessment of Obama’s Speech To Muslim World Is Posted On Wingnut Website

Oh here’s a nice response to Barack Obama’s “Ich bin ein Muslin” talky-talk in Egypt: “The first 15 minutes of President Obama’s speech to the Muslim world was what I wanted to hear from candidate Obama a year ago. Had he given that portion of his speech during the presidential campaign much of the irrational fear of Obama as some sort of Muslim Manchurian candidate would have been relieved …. This was one of President Obama’s more important speeches and he rose to the occasion and delivered a fine speech.” And this was posted at, uhm, RedState What? Read more on Calm, Positive Assessment of Obama’s Speech To Muslim World Is Posted On Wingnut Website…
  republicans in the news

Republican Base Also Hates Charlie Crist

Beloved wingnut blog RedState has taken an important stand against the Senate campaign of orange-skinned gay RINO and Florida Governor Charlie Crist. “If the NRSC thinks this is smart, we must not waste our time or energy with them,” RedState’s Erick Erickson wrote today. “Join me in pledging no money, no help, no aid, and no support for the NRSC’s efforts in the 2010 election cycle.” Yes! Read more on Republican Base Also Hates Charlie Crist…
  wasilla hillbillies

Wingnut Blog Suggests Levi Johnston Also Fucking His Sister

Offered without comment: “What’s even more creepy is that the other person in the picture is his sister. And, as if lifted from the pages of Deliverance, she has his name tattooed on her back. Think about that one for a minute …. Soon Levi will sell his tell all book, delightfully ignoring awkward questions about his relationship with his sister while relishing in the awkward details of his relationship with Sarah Palin.” [RedState] Read more on Wingnut Blog Suggests Levi Johnston Also Fucking His Sister…
  citizen protests

RedStaters Kill The Environment By Doing Laundry, Baking

Remember that goofy “Earth Hour” that took place whenever, sometime last week, when a bunch of Australian hippies unplugged their GORP generators for an hour to save the earth? Apparently some intrepid conservatives/global warming deniers decided to use MOAR ELECTIRICETIES during that same hour, just to be dicks! Read more on RedStaters Kill The Environment By Doing Laundry, Baking…
  latest swedish model news

RedState Warns: Obama To Seize Internet

A smart person at the RedState blog has discovered an article on the secret website “CNET” about how Barack Obama plans to capture the Internet and run it, more or less. “Total control is their only goal,” warns the intrepid Kenny Solomon. “The uber-geek-lib-techies under the spell of President TelePrompTer will do anything asked of them, legal or not and probably are already anyway. This will just make it all nice and legal-like.” Obama knows nothing about the “law” anyway, unless it comes from his teleprompter, haw haw haw. (Fortunately Mr. Solomon also provides two bits of comic relief to soften this terrifying piece of news. “Snarky note number one” is the funniest fucking thing ever.) [RedState] Read more on RedState Warns: Obama To Seize Internet…
  what the elitists are up to

Special Conversation Shows What Goes On Inside Secret Leftist Cabal Chatroom

Yesterday the Politico — and fine, here is your precious LINK, Calderone! — revealed to the world the Secret Leftist Cabal Chatroom where policy experts talk to bloggers off-the-record and tell them what to write on their blogs. Its Master is young communist health care blogger Ezra Klein, who decided to bring these people together in secrecy after discovering that Twitter was probably not the safest outlet for such secret secrecy. It is the most major Conspiracy in Washington right now, and RedState is hot on the case. So what goes on inside the “JournoList”? Read more on Special Conversation Shows What Goes On Inside Secret Leftist Cabal Chatroom…
  rumors on the internets

Don’t Be The Last One On The Internet To Miss Out On Conscripting Yourself To RedState’s Battalion Of Discontents!

Meet Barry’s new socialist realism fashion patch thing! There’s a branch (symbolizing ACORNS), and stars (for Lenin) and the colors red, white, and blue (for reasons unknown). [Top of the Ticket] Read more on Don’t Be The Last One On The Internet To Miss Out On Conscripting Yourself To RedState’s Battalion Of Discontents!…
  true histories

Old Liberal Plot To Discredit George Washington’s Birthday Angers One Guy On Internet

Did you know that according to THE LAW, this holiday is simply called “Washington’s Birthday” and not “President’s Day,” as the mattress stores and car dealers have taught you to believe. According to one person on the Internet, the misconception — like most misconceptions, as well as abortion — stems from some liberals getting together back in the day and trying to ruin America. Read more on Old Liberal Plot To Discredit George Washington’s Birthday Angers One Guy On Internet…