Tag Archives: redstate

  wingnut slapfight

Bryan Fischer Will Root All Queers Out Of Wingnut ‘News’ Websites

GRRRR HOMOS GRRRR
Bryan Fischer’s butthole is in an extra-twitchy state (not the Michelle Malkin kind of twitchy; or wait, come to think of it, yes the Malkin kind), as he is feeling BETRAYED! You see, one of the wingnut websites he likes, Townhall.com, has a known homosexual in its midst, by the name of Guy Benson, political editor. And Benson is a dirty homo, as he reveals in a new book out this week. Let your freak flag fly, Fischer: Read more on Bryan Fischer Will Root All Queers Out Of Wingnut ‘News’ Websites…
  He's new and improved and basically the same

Erick Erickson Is All Growed Up, Not A A**hole Anymore

Srs political thought is srs bsns
Wingnut fire-breathing teabagging RedState blogger and Fox contributor Erick Son of Erick isn’t your typical wingnut fire-breathing teabagger, according to a Very Serious Profile in The Atlantic, which is very serious and takes Erick Erickson very seriously. Read more on Erick Erickson Is All Growed Up, Not A A**hole Anymore…
  schism in the wingnutoverse

Ted Cruz Birther Too Stupid Even For Erick Erickson’s RedState

Ted Cruz birther David Farrar has a sad, guys. He’s been kicked off wingnut website Redstate.com, presumably because Erick Erickson is a fascist who can’t stand to have the ugly truth about Ted Cruz exposed: Ted Cruz was born at center ice of a hockey rink in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, while his mother ate poutine and his father sang “Babalu.” But will Erick the Red Sympathizer allow the Constitutional ramifications of these indisputable facts to be discussed? No, he will not. This is tyranny, ladies and gentlemen, nothing short of tyranny. Or it’s editorial judgment. We’re always mixing those up. Read more on Ted Cruz Birther Too Stupid Even For Erick Erickson’s RedState…
  cause we need a man (we need a man)

Hey How Is It Going In Our Quest To Buy An Entire Person? An Update!

Last week or something, we asked you, the faithful Wonkvillein, to help us buy an entire person in the form and shape of Doktor Zoom. And many of you immediately started sending us money — so much and so fast, we actually were not able to send you personalized thank you notes, so we decided not to send you any thank you notes at all! (Nobody tell our beloved Miss Manners; we cannot stand to disappoint her.) We did not even send thank you notes to the several of you who forked over $50 a month, which is fucking ridiculous. Well, we are here to update at ya, and to tell you that Ben Howe, from Redstate, wants you to come together as one to help us, for liberal togetherness and community. HE DOES??? Yes, he does. Would we lie to you? Read more on Hey How Is It Going In Our Quest To Buy An Entire Person? An Update!…
  The Skeetstorm Continues

Alleged Skeet Murderer Barack Obama Afraid Of Guns (Because He Is Gay)

So, we were typing up a story about Barry Obama, Skeet Master, but then the new kid came along and just cold sent the Editrix a finished story about the very same thing, but no hard feelings new kid, because, hey, we’re all on the same team, and you had yours finished first. Also, we know where you park your car. But anyway, one of the sources we were looking at was this nifty Atlantic piece about the Skeet Truthers and their underlying assumption about Barack Obama: Of course the Preznit doesn’t shoot skeet, because he is a sissy liberal, and ergo, he is pants-pissingly afraid of guns. And oh, what a lovely link that RedState story turned out to be. Prepare yourself for some high-octane Crazy, boys and girls, as we look at the musings of one “John Liberty,” who may have been aiming for a blogonym that suggested “patriot superhero,” but ended up sounding like an evil Lectroid from Buckaroo Banzai. Read more on Alleged Skeet Murderer Barack Obama Afraid Of Guns (Because He Is Gay)…
  once you go barack you never go back

Wingnuts Terrified: Black Man Coming For, Possibly On, Their Daughters

You wanna see something really scary? “First he asked for your wedding gifts, then your yard sales and now he has asked for your daughters.” Dun dun DUN. That’s right. The most scariest thing that could ever have happened has happened, right here in our own US of A. A woman made a video acting like she wanted Pimp in Chief Barack Obama to do sex on her young white body, and the wingnuts are reacting exactly as you’d expect: by rolling their eyes and going “eh, if we were libtards we would think that was funny we guess, but we’re not so we don’t” and then moving onto something important. HAHA just kidding. No. They are fainting in horror and screeching and wailing that mildly racy dialogue (if it were 1924) of young white women implying doing sex on Barack Obama will result in his landslide defeat. Let us watch them gnash their teeth and tear their hair, together, after the jump. Read more on Wingnuts Terrified: Black Man Coming For, Possibly On, Their Daughters…
  the vetting

BREAKING: Obama’s Campaign Site Rejects Fraudulent Donation

Today’s right-wing Obama-is-a-foreigner thing is the startling revelation that, theoretically, Barack Obama could be accepting campaign donations from foreign nationals. Short version: Barack Obama does not own the Obama.com domain name. Some (American) dude in China does. It autoforwards to a donation page on BarackObama.com, which Barack Obama owns. Foreigners can access Obama.com through nefarious means such as web browsers, which probably means that all of Obama’s money is raised from his half-siblings in Kenya and Indonesia. But how to prove this is happening? The campaign denies it, of course, as liars would. So leave it to intrepid pile of moist journalism Erick Erickson to investigate. And by investigate, we mean attempt credit card fraud. Read more on BREAKING: Obama’s Campaign Site Rejects Fraudulent Donation…
  love letters

Erick Erickson Asks Herman Cain If He Tried Turning It On and Off

Now that the puddle of human goo that used to be Rick Perry has finally been covered over with cedar shavings and left to dry overnight, perhaps we should refocus on polishing the rest of the turds who for some reason are still interested in getting Iowans to hate them slightly less than the other ghouls scrumming to become GOP CEO. (Because the rusty Democrat machine hates bizness, only the GOP gets to have a CEO. Enjoy those General Assemblies, hippies!) Erick Erickson, current jefe of #1 internet stratagem database/thinktank RedState, has some ideas for one particularly handsy GOP candidate which he shared in a open letter like some kind of peeved-off Democrat senator from a Nor’easter state. Read more on Erick Erickson Asks Herman Cain If He Tried Turning It On and Off…
  massively important political news

Meghan McCain Finally Takes Offense At Someone Calling Her Stupid

Oh boohoo, Meghan McCain is furious because mean old troll Erick Erickson’s right-wing website RedState.com posted some kind of half-wit parody of Meghan McCain’s vapid Daily Beast columns that her lawyers say too closely resembles her actual half-wit columns to count as satire. The original post has been taken down, but the full version of it can be found here and includes such showstoppers as, “Some ignorant jerk, clearly who doesn’t know about the young people, pointed out that George W. Bush 1.0 won, two elections, which is two more than my dad did.” Why Meghan McCain chose to pick on RedState.com out of all the Internet media outlets that have mocked her over time for her mule-like insistence that she is relevant to Republican politics is anyone’s guess (or not, because no one cares), but we will go ahead and assume princess is jealous of Erick Erickson’s recurring gig shilling right-wing talking points on CNN. HOW IS THAT FAIR? Because Erick Erickson’s dad is not John McCain, so why should he get a better media job? Read more on Meghan McCain Finally Takes Offense At Someone Calling Her Stupid…
  it's like young people aren't as racist or something

Erick Erickson Scared To Death Fancy Young People Will Re-elect Obama

You know what keeps Erick Erickson up at night? Fear. Always. But there is another, specific kind of fear that bedevils him when fringe-right corporate mouthpiece/unwanted free publication Human Events asks for some promotional email text to send out on behalf of another Koch Brothers’ front group to rile up scared old people and convince them to actually send money for the purpose of taking away their badly needed Social Security and Medicare. When that happens, Erick Erickson is very scared of Barack Obama’s hold on the evil young people, and by “young” he means “not quite yet in their fifth decade, but getting there.” It seems these young people with their fancy liberal educations and iPhones and ethnic food and bisexuality and 401ks and Dwell subscriptions have got that Barack Obama all up in their grill. There’s a real danger that these people — pretty much the entirety of American voters 18-34 — will not suddenly support some fat white right-wing racist like Haley Barbour or whatever kochsucker ultimately gets the GOP nomination. “You know I don’t scare easily,” Erickson writes. “And that scares me.” Read more on Erick Erickson Scared To Death Fancy Young People Will Re-elect Obama…
  meet your new micks

RedState: It’s Time To Ban Muslim Immigration

RedState has come up with a fun, new, very academic policy idea: Let’s stop letting Muslims immigrate here! That will solve all of the problems on the problems list, such as economy and fetus death. “By now it is evident to all but the most brassbound liberals, incorrigible in their refusal to face hard facts, that Islam contains within it a sizeable faction of determined men whose politics derive from the warmaking doctrines of the Jihad. Wherever Islam is, this faction will be also.” All groups of people have a few bad apples. (Who eventually turn into violent bad-apple cider? Sorry, that’s a dumb cliche.) But Islam’s bad apples are Muslim, so they shouldn’t be allowed to be Americans, according to America’s official blog, RedState. Plus, there are lots of other fun rules the government should enact to control current Muslim Americans! Read more on RedState: It’s Time To Ban Muslim Immigration…
  they shall overcome

RedState Angry It’s ‘Still’ Not ‘Allowed To Make a Racial Slur’ About Obama

As soon as we see a black person in a position of power, we all immediately turn to utter a racial slur about this person, right? You guys know what we’re talking about! Black people are scary! YET, RedState has apparently had to go years without saying such a thing towards the president of the United States, who is a black guy. That is a very impressive amount of willpower for people who hold racism so dear! RedState definitely deserves a Medal of Honor for this (as long as that black guy doesn’t get his grubby socialist fingers all over it). However, RedState blogger Dave Poff has determined that Obama recently said a racial slur himself, so now all the RedStaters are Free At Last to type racial slurs about Obama on the Internet. Hooray! Read more on RedState Angry It’s ‘Still’ Not ‘Allowed To Make a Racial Slur’ About Obama…
  country crock

Erick Erickson Wishes Republican Party Would Feed Him More Butter

Boo! Why did the Republican Party have to come out this morning with a list of “policies” and “beliefs”? That’s no fun. The only policy they need is “the economy sucks and your president doesn’t look like you,” but John Boehner decided to write up a big “Pledge for America” because he has never accomplished anything with words in his life. Erick Erickson is very mad about this. And he’s going to stage a coup to take the House speakership for himself. With butter. Read more on Erick Erickson Wishes Republican Party Would Feed Him More Butter…
  hamilton vs. burr 2010

RedState Guy Says Tom Friedman Acts Like a Jackass On Amtrak

Our nation’s leading pundits can always be expected to act like the gentlemen-scholars they are, especially while riding public transportation. That’s why CNN fringe-right psychopath Erick “RedState” Erickson has just been twittering important eyewitness accounts of bestselling conventional-wisdom hack Thomas Friedman allegedly being a total asshole to some poor Amtrak employee, who apparently didn’t dispose of Friedman’s tampon quickly enough. Read more on RedState Guy Says Tom Friedman Acts Like a Jackass On Amtrak…
  helping our blog friends

RedState’s Lonely Photoshop Contest

With nothing else to talk about today, despite the fact that Sharia is slowly being added to law books all over the country, RedState decided they were gonna have themselves a good ol’ Photoshoppin’ contest with a photo of the newly made-over Oval Office. But three hours later, why has no one entered yet? “Da Rules: Don’t be profane, don’t be disgusting, don’t be crazy. This is for fun.” First of all, “Da”? That sounds BLACK. And it’s impossible not to be profane or disgusting or crazy when you make a racist Photoshop. And also Photoshops of the Oval Office are VERY SERIOUS MATTERS for conservatives, not “for fun.” So we are providing a Photoshopped image of a floating Erick Erickson with his trusty laptop in this version of RedState’s Oval Office photo, and we are holding a Blingee contest! Read more on RedState’s Lonely Photoshop Contest…
  dept. of go fuck yourself

RedState Says Bigotry Is an American Tradition, But Muslims Aren’t Allowed To Call This Mosque Stuff Bigotry

“A Free Society And The Muslim Conundrum: accept us or we will kill you”: Hmm, that sounds like the title of a detached, logic-based RedState post about the reality of all this mosque stuff that finally, hopefully seems to be ending. And look, it is! It manages to justify hatred of Muslims with other things, such as the fact that some of them go to good universities that treat them with respect, or that Muslims are “complaining” despite the fact that many religious groups have faced bigotry in American history. But don’t worry, mostly Muslims still just want to kill us Christian white people. Read more on RedState Says Bigotry Is an American Tradition, But Muslims Aren’t Allowed To Call This Mosque Stuff Bigotry…