Oh man, we’re sobbing. Watch all of it if you can. Most devastating critique of the Obama administration yet. [YouTube]

Intrepid blog reporter David Weigel of the Washington Independent is so intent on getting himself murdered that he traveled all the way to Kentucky over the weekend for something called the “Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot.” You must check out all of his photos, here, but we simply want to note the mixed feelings these fellows have toward Nazis. Basically they love the Nazis, because they are Neo-Nazis, but they also hate the Nazis because Obama is a Nazi. MORE »

Wonkette Operative “Matt N.” has truly witnessed horror, in the supposed new socialist caliphate of the District of Communism: Real truck nutz, hanging off a goddamned trailer hitch, as intended by the manufacturer. MORE »

Statistics freak Nate Silver was supposed to go away after the election, which he rigged with algebra or something in order to create the first black president, which is the ultimate political statistic, for masturbating. Now the fivethirtyeight.com sensation has a column in the gay fashion glossy, Esquire. It’s kind of interesting! Basically, Nate has figured out — using his patented number voodoo — that the worst people in America are literally disappearing, leaving a nation of sexy multi-racial city slickers who drive hybrids and do anal on first dates. MORE »

This is like when somebody says “you can’t underestimate the importance of thing X” when they are trying to suggest that in fact you can’t overestimate the importance of that thing, it is so very important. Only this is worse times a million, because John McCain says in two different ways that his proud Western Pennsylvanian supporters are racist rednecks. (The crowd, to their credit, gives a collective “Whaaa?”) Then he makes up for it by saying, twice, that the region is so very patriotic. FETCH THIS GENTLEMAN A PILLOW AND A GLASS OF WARM MILK. [YouTube]

Here’s a fun “treasure” map for everyone who wishes to know where the real Bitters in this country dwell: take any wide East Coast state — North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York — start at the ocean, move directly west through the beaches and the cornfields, then the cities and centers of commerce, the suburbs, the exurbs, more fields, and after a few hours you’ll reach some foothills, and it is there, in any of these states, that you’ll find places like Cullowhee, North Carolina, where dead bloody grizzly black bears [oh now we get it! -- Ed.] are left on college campuses and covered in Obama signs for no reason at all beyond meth, moonshine, racism, inbreeding, and a complete break with the unwritten rules of basic decency that supposedly govern a civilized society. MORE »

FREE LEVI JOHNSTON: The brave high school dropout who impregnated Sarah Palin’s daughter talked with an AP reporter, in his driveway. He spoke in complete sentences, unlike his future mother-in-law! Here is what he said about attending the Republican National Convention: “At first, I was nervous. Then I was like, ‘Whatever.’” Levi Johnston is the wisest, most silver-tongued sage in the extended Palin family. [AP]

Oh good sweet god jesus shit WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE? The YouTube description says, “I came home from football practice one evening and my parents were talking to our neighbors who were drunk. This is what happened … I live in southeastern kentucky FYI.” Well, you have been warned, America. Here are three drunk Kentucky hillbillies ranting about Obama while sitting on a filthy AIDS unicorn. [YouTube]

Here’s the video of John McCain offering up his wife to the biker crowd yesterday, in South Dakota. It’s the most sexist thing we’ve seen all campaign. Look at how excited John McCain is about serving up his wife for the nudie show, so these mutts can get their greasy paws all over her. He has a little trouble looking her in the eye, hmm? [YouTube]

Greasy shitsack Barack Obama has sold out yet again to the Corporates and Racists: “SI.com has learned that for the first time in history, a major presidential candidate may sponsor a race car in NASCAR’s premier series. According to sources, Barack Obama’s campaign is in talks to become the primary sponsor of BAM Racing’s No. 49 Sprint Cup car for the Pocono race on August 3. Details of the agreement are expected to be worked out over the coming days.” Oh ho ho, of course, a TELECOM IMMUNITY CUP CAR. Don’t spend all your blood money in one place, n00bama. [Sports Illustrated]

President George W. Bush continued to waste his last year in office Saturday, as he hosted a reception for Danish Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen at his Crawford ranch. As they were eating lunch and discussing the… tense?… relations between Denmark and the United States, some batshit redneck lady was threatening to shoot Danish journalists for trespassing across the street. Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen was not harmed in the incident. MORE »