Wonkette

Doctors have determined that Ted Kennedy, who was hospitalized after a seizure over the weekend, has a malignant brain tumor. They’re going to do some more tests to determine a course of action, but average survival appears to be anywhere between less than a year to five years. Too sad. Get well soon, Teddy! We will honor you by linking to your massive, awe-inspiring legislative accomplishments section on Wikipedia, as you watch the Red Sox in the hospital. [AP/MSNBC]

Although Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo is totally a shoe-in to become the next president, the nativist speedaholic is selflessly willing to put it all on the line with a World Series bet against Soxy colleague Mitt Romney. A spokesman for the Tancredo campaign (probably his dog or something) called ABC News this morning with a wager for Mitt Romney: If the Rockies lose the World Series then Tancredo will drop out, if the Red Sox lose then Romney will. It’s a charitable offer to Romney, whose pathetic campaigning has only landed him in first place in both Iowa and New Hampshire polls. The fool can’t recognize a good opportunity when it hits him square in the magic pajamas, and his campaign has rejected the offer. A deflated Tom Tancredo will resume betting on cockfights in the Mexico City underworld. MORE »

More than a few jaws dropped Tuesday when Rudy Giuliani, who once entertained thoughts of working for the Yankees organization and is close friends with former manager Joe Torre, said he was behind the Boston Red Sox in the World Series. Sure, we understand the need for the bullshit stump speech, but Giuliani, who comes from a long line of New York thugs and mobsters, has now decided to shit on the chests of all New Yorkers. MORE »

A couple of days ago, the Chris Dodd presidential campaign tried to cash in on Red Sox Nation insanity with this seemingly innocuous ploy (via MassLive):

There’s something magical about playoff baseball under the shadow of the Green Monster, the Citgo sign in Kenmore Square, or the fact that if you squint hard enough you can almost make out Ted Williams patrolling the outfield or Cartlon Fisk waving that ball inside the foul pole.

So let’s go to Fenway Park… I’ve got two extra seats — great seats — to Game Six of the American League Championship Series against the Cleveland Indians. And I believe they have your name on them.

Next Thursday at 5 P.M. Eastern, we’re going to pick one entrant at random, live and online, to attend Game Six with me that Saturday. I’ll put up the two tickets, $600 towards airfare for you and your guest, and a hotel room in Boston.

Here’s how it works. You make a minimum contribution of $20.04 (in honor of the last time the Red Sox won the World Series, 2004) and you have as good a shot as anyone else to attend the game.

We didn’t post at the time because, hey, Wonkette is not a message board for Chris Dodd to make new friends, especially if he doesn’t offer a big bowl of chips! Major League Baseball apparently felt used also, and has ordered the Dodd campaign to stop the promotion at once. Ruh roh. MORE »