Tag Archives: recount

  minnetonka sewer commission race too close to call

Your Off-Off-Year Election Rounderp: All The Results You Already Know, Plus Weird Stuff

Election 2013 is all over but the shouting, which is mostly Chris Christie’s job anyway, so let’s review: New Jersey: Christie reelected, and a bunch of other people won elections, too. Have you heard of any of them? Neither have we. Should we care? We have a nagging feeling that we probably should. Virginia: Not sure we can say the good guys won, but the terrible guys lost, hooray! New York City: Bill DeBlasio wins Mayor, possibly because novelist Jonathan Franzen voted for him. (Really, WSJ? You led with that?) Detroit: White dude wins job with no power; Sean Hannity will find a way to make that Obama’s fault. Boise: Bond elections fail, fire department will not build new training facility. Read more on Your Off-Off-Year Election Rounderp: All The Results You Already Know, Plus Weird Stuff…
  sellouts

Al Franken Now Beholden To Republican Special Interests

The newly installed stooge/senator from Minnesota, veteran circus performer Al Franken, had to wait, what, eight months to assume office? And during that time he frittered away many an hour in court, wasting the People’s Money on the frivolous lawsuit that was eventually decided in his favor. Norm Coleman warned him from the very beginning that The People would not look kindly on this frivolity and wasteful spending! Which is why it’s funny that Minnesota’s Republican Party has had to cut Franken a check for $96,000 to cover lawsuit-related fees. Read more on Al Franken Now Beholden To Republican Special Interests…
  basement creeps

DNC To Coleman: Just Give Up

Possibly former senator Norm Coleman has fought valiantly for nearly half a year to secure a return ticket to Washington, DC, where he sleeps in an airless subterranean closet known as “the gimp chamber.” But he has lost his latest legal effort, and the Democratic National Committee is just rubbing salt in the wound. Read more on DNC To Coleman: Just Give Up…
  freaks

Baseball Team Makes Two-Faced Bobblehead Monster In Honor Of Coleman-Franken

The St. Paul Saints made a funny Larry Craig souvenir to hand out at their games last year, and what better to follow it up with this year than a bobblehead showing Al Franken and Norm Coleman joined at the cranium and wearing a Sesame Street costume? (This is the image that Hugh Hewitt masturbates to every night.) Sadly, the Saints have not yet released a photo of this little doll, and you do NOT want to just do random Internet searches on two-faced monsters, so to your right you see a lovely harmless little Roman god with “key and cock,” which are two things Franken and Coleman lack. [Star Tribune] Read more on Baseball Team Makes Two-Faced Bobblehead Monster In Honor Of Coleman-Franken…
  quitters

NORM COLEMAN’S LAWYER IS ‘DONE,’ SOMEHOW: Joe Friedberg, Norm Coleman’s recount attorney, tells Hotline, “Yes, I’m done,” after being asked if he is “done.” It is not clear whether this means he’s quitting, but it does mean that maybe someday, in 2025 or something, Norm Coleman’s legal challenges to his lost 2008 election will be over. [Hotline] Read more on …
  lizard people

Al Franken Winning (For Now!) In MN

Your faithful Star-Tribune has a little ticker dealy on their front page and look, Al Franken is ahead by nearly 250 votes! The Coleman v. Franken recount has been going on since when, the Carter administration or so? Are both of these people even still alive, or have they been replaced yet by Adam Sandler and a Flowbee? [Star-Tribune] Read more on Al Franken Winning (For Now!) In MN…
  minnesota dumb

Earnest Minnesotans Debate The Existence Of Lizard People

By now you have heard the very silly story of the jokester who wrote in “Lizard People” on his ballot, singlehandedly derailing the very complicated Senate election in Minnesota. Witness this group of Deciders trying to figure out if Lizard People is a known individual or not. What is sadder, the American election system or the American legal system? (Thanks to “An annoyed (& entertained?) Minnesotan” for sharing. We are doomed.) [YouTube] Read more on Earnest Minnesotans Debate The Existence Of Lizard People…
  electoral triumph of the lizard people

Examine Disputed Minnesota Ballots For Laffs!

Oh here is a fun game! Check out these actual disputed voter ballots from Minnesota, and look at what laughable excuses the Coleman and Franken campaigns have for arguing “voter intent” in one direction or the other. Minnesota Public Radio, you have rendered a valuable time-wasting service unto the nation. [MPR via First Read] Read more on Examine Disputed Minnesota Ballots For Laffs!…
  dinguses

And Here’s Some Great News From The Nader Campaign!

Oh how fantastic, exactly what we wanted to hear, Ralph Nader weaseled his way onto the Florida ballot! WE ARE SO HAPPY FOR RALPH NADER, WHO HAS JUST MADE THE FLORIDA BALLOT. The heroic party that picked him up is the Ecology Party, which must be like the secret “art film wing” of the much larger Republican Party. Read more on And Here’s Some Great News From The Nader Campaign!…
 

Kitty Harris Enraged Over ‘Made Up Dialogue’ In Fictional Film

For those of you who are rich and elitist and can afford HBO, you may have seen the much-hyped film Recount over Memorial Day weekend, which chronicled Al Gore’s efforts to hijack the country during the 2000 election in disenfranchised Florida. The movie was terrible and hilarious, although Laura Dern’s portrayal of then-Florida Secretary of State Katherine “Kitty” Harris deserves at least 19 Oscars and maybe even a Golden Globe. Anyway, Kitty went on Fox News last night to complain about the writers of the film “making up dialogue,” a serious cinematic violation of ethics. Kitty’s attorney appeared by her side on the show to make sure she didn’t screw up, such is her wont. [YouTube, St. Petersburg Times] Read more on Kitty Harris Enraged Over ‘Made Up Dialogue’ In Fictional Film…
 

People Who Don’t Watch HBO Furious About HBO

You know what was “great” about the wingnuts freaking out about the Dunkin’ Donuts ad freakout? Dunkin’ Donuts is actually a product these people use, daily, by eating bags of donuts. And then they start calling the AM talk radio shows, and next thing you know the angry white appliance repairman is wondering if he should really be eating at Dunkin’ Donuts five times a day … so maybe he takes his business to the local donut shop run by the nice Palestinian family. Much more common is the wingnut pretend-boycott of something they wouldn’t ever use, even if they knew about it. Such is the fury over HBO’s little-watched yet much-discussed Recount, a movie about the horrible 2000 election and Florida debacle. Read more on People Who Don’t Watch HBO Furious About HBO…
 

Relive The Magic Of Florida In 2000!

It is finally here, this frigging movie about the Florida recount, airing May 25 on HBO. We will stock up on ammo so that we can shoot the television with our left-handed Mauser. [YouTube via FilmDrunk] Read more on Relive The Magic Of Florida In 2000!…
 

Gipper-Esque

Surprisingly, the Palestinians don’t have a very high opinion of Bush. [New York Times] Bill Richardson, we knew him well. [Washington Post] Giuliani doesn’t think voters should discount him just because he hasn’t been in the race for weeks. [New York Times] Read more on Gipper-Esque…
 

Kucinich Sells Horrible Recount Relic for Xmas

Still haven’t bought your special someone a Christmas gift? Well let salesman Dennis Kucinich make you v. v. special offer: For only $219.95, Dennis Kucinich sell you “a Palm Beach County voting machine from the 2000 election ‘containing actual chads,’ with a ‘replica butterfly ballot’ and a letter signed by Kucinich proclaiming ‘the stolen presidential election of 2000,'” to quote Gannett News. Very good price, my friend. Read more on Kucinich Sells Horrible Recount Relic for Xmas…
 

Is It Wrong to Lust After Katherine Harris’ Tits?

We always knew Katherine Harris had some awesome cougar tits. But now Laura Dern is giving our voter fraud MILF a run for her money in this shot from the set of HBO’s Recount. So who has better breasts: Laura Dern or Katherine Harris? You decide. [Naked Politics] Read more on Is It Wrong to Lust After Katherine Harris’ Tits?…
 

Laura Dern Channeling Her Inner Kitty Harris

Laura Dern is playing Katherine “Kitty” Harris in HBO’s upcoming film Recount, an adaptation of a lost Care Bears book in which Al Gore doesn’t become president. And on Monday, they were filming in Tallahassee — only backwards. Read more on Laura Dern Channeling Her Inner Kitty Harris…
 

Florida Also Flunks Thanksgiving Election

Even a simple ESPN Thanksgiving poll becomes a recount clusterfuck in Florida, where “the meal” and “friends and family” are tied for “best part of Thanksgiving.” Poll Results State by State [ESPN] Read more on Florida Also Flunks Thanksgiving Election…
 

Macacalypse Now? Still No Recount Demand From Allen Camp

According to these numbers (updated at 3:44 p.m.), 100% of all precincts in all counties have reported, and Allen’s behind by 6,911 votes. Worse, Virginia is all electronic voting with no paper record. The totals from each machine can be totaled again, and that’s about it — beyond recounting absentee ballots, however that’s done in Virginia. Read more on Macacalypse Now? Still No Recount Demand From Allen Camp…