Tag: recipes

What Is Wonkette Ramming Down Your Throat Today?

Corn dogs. It has come to this, and the devil is dancing tonight! Corn dogs are the terribleness I was up on Faceborg, drunk, and Trix found me out. I have been dispatched to bring this special summertime delight to...

Summer Smoothies, Tori Spelling, Adult Swim And A Bunch Of Other Happy Links

Have you read all the Happy Nice Time things you need to read today? Probably not! Let's rectify that. Are you ready to make smoothies this summer? Now you are! (Hint, goes better with rum.) Stephen Colbert covered some lesbian three-way...

Making Thanksgiving ‘Monkey Bread’ With Nancy Reagan

Enjoy this Wonkette Holiday Classic recipe all over again, as though The Gipper was still wandering around somewhere: Whatever the hell "monkey bread" might be -- something racist, we assume -- it was the thing our favorite first lady...

K-Lo Posts Her Dream Recipe: Carcass Stuffed With 10 Hamburgers

Important National Review Online pundit Kathryn Jean Lopez only really gets excited twice a year: When she makes up another excuse to get people to send her a bunch of porn, and when Thanksgiving comes around so she can...

Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette’s Real Cranberry Business

The following is our annual repost of Ken Layne's Real Cranberry Business, because when we bought this bitch we bought the archives too. One hundred and seventy two years from now, "Ken Layne" will be retelling his cranberry business...

This Real Recipe From Rush Limbaugh Has Jello, Stuffed Olives, And Miracle Whip In It

OK, sure, we made fun of Rush Limbaugh for putting saccharine in his hot cocoa recipe and frying a chicken in Crisco. But were we being fair? Not really. We finally saw The Help last night, and according to...

Everything’s Better With Crisco: Real Recipes From Rush Limbaugh

SF Weekly's Crap Archivist may have found his greatest treasure yet: a 1980 Kansas City Royals cookbook, before Ol' Porkbutt had conquered the world and was still a lowly Royals front office "director of group sales." We will let the...

Here’s the Famous Real Cranberry Business Recipe From Wonkette!

It's that special time of year when we all give thanks for 25% real unemployment, the never-ending recession and real-estate collapse, terrible schools, broken infrastructure, cops crushing the skulls of our lawfully protesting children, the scent of pepper spray...

Delicious Recipes From Ancient American Congressional Wives

Most Americans today completely ignore politics and Congress, and most of those who follow the stuff very intensely are, you know, insane, and the only "congressional recipe" America's Abused Liberals know about is the Larry Craig "super tuber," which...

Official Wonkette Thanksgiving Recipe Comment Post

Sorry we didn't do this yesterday -- we were at Disneyland, haha, just like that pardoned presidential turkey -- but as it's still only 10:30 in the morning on the East Coast and 7:30 a.m. on the West Coast,...

Make Some Boozey Chocolate Cake With Betty Ford!

Who can forget this classic Thanksgiving liquor cake recipe from First Lady Betty Ford? Our dearly departed Juli Weiner wrote this up several Thanksgivings ago, and we still reprint it every year, even though now she makes Harry Potter...

How To Make Wonkette’s Actual Awesome Real Cranberry Business

It's that special time of year when we all give thanks for 25% real unemployment, the never-ending real-estate collapse, terrible schools, broken infrastructure and a bunch of mouth-breathing cretins sticking their hands up Granny's hoo-ha at the airport. And...

Nancy Reagan’s Thanksgiving Offering: Monkey Bread!

Whatever the hell "monkey bread" might be -- something racist, we assume -- it was the thing pill-popping anorexic Nancy Reagan was known to "cook," at Thanksgiving or whatever. For America, and for Ronnie! Delight the people at the...

Give Thanks To Your Wonkette Pals, With Recipes!

While Barack Obama appoints Mr. Peabody as the Secretary of Science or whatever and no other news happens except the usual daily rain of Great Big Depression statistics, let's give THX for whatever it is that didn't go terribly...