Wonkette

If you ever wondered about the secret lives of pill-popping blondes but were too lazy to crack Valley of the Dolls, future First Lady Cindy McCain will help you out. In her memoir, due out just a few months before her angry midget husband is crowned Emperor of America, she will reveal all of her secrets to staying healthy, wealthy, and married to a physically and emotionally fragile war veteran. In other words, the book will be a sort of Less Than Zero meets Deceptively Delicious with a sprinkling of Old Yeller. It will sell one trillion copies after Oprah adds it to her Book Club. [On Politics]

As usual with these terrible betrayals of the public trust, it’s not the crime — it’s the coverup. If First Lady Cindy McCain had “talked straight” with the American people years ago and said, Yes, I get all my recipes from the Blue Cross drug formulary, we could have moved on. But instead she engages in this dangerous dance of deceit, leaving a trail of broken dreams and cribbed recipes behind her. One intrepid sleuth just uncovered what may be the first documented incident from Mrs. McCain’s life of shadowy food-crime — an error that may end up costing John McCain precious votes with a once reliable constituency… MORE »

CINDY MCCAIN THROWS RECIPE THIEF INTERN UNDER THE BUS: Who is to blame for the terrible plagiarism scandal involving food recipes and sticky-fingered Cindy McCain? An intern, of course. The McCain campaign says the offending person has been “swiftly dealt with,” by which we assume “quietly murdered.” [TMZ] MORE »

Is there anything new first lady Cindy McCain won’t steal? The beer heiress stole husband John McCain back when he was relatively young and handsome and needed a new wife, she stole dope pills from her own medical charity, she furtively brought home some orphans from Bangladesh one time, she continues to steal “stray” dogs, and now the Cougar Baroness is accused of stealing recipes from the Food Network! MORE »

Everybody loves recipes, especially when political leaders submit their “favorites” for charity or whatever. Here’s the most beloved recipe of Gay Larry Craig, the beloved “Super Tuber.” MORE »

Let’s start with Rep. Kay Granger of the 12th District in Texas. She’s an incumbent, seems to be in a safe seat, and doesn’t need some “net roots” hi-tech nonsense. A basic website is fine. MORE »