Tag: recipes

Put Thanksgiving In Your Mouth With Grown-Up Baked Mac And Cheese, For Grown-Ups

This Wonkette classic was not originally a Thanksgiving recipe, but now America says it's OK to eat mac and cheese on Thanksgiving, hooray! We will be making this for OUR family, and you should too. Baking macaroni and cheese on...

Make Robyn’s Eggplant Parmesan With Spaghetti And Gravy! Not That Kind Of Gravy, Gross!

Eat love laugh! Or whatever, OLIVE GARDEN.

TONIGHT! Ready To Watch Hillary Clinton Grind Donald Trump Down Into A Fine Dust?

Everything you never wanted to know about tonight's debate!

PSA: Bernie Supporters, Please Don’t Let This Internet Meme Murder You Dead

Hey, Bernie Fans! Look at that meme up there! Isn't that a fun idea, if you are a Bernie fan under 25 who is into raves or gay sex (or both!), to have glow sticks for Bernie? OK, well,...
OH YEAH BABY EAT IT

Here’s Your Wonkette Christmas Menu, To Put Inside Your Face

Happy Christmas Eve, elves and lady elves, are you in the mood for Wonkette to cram your throatholes with goodness? Then let's get our shopping lists ready so we can prepare the traditional Wonkette Christmas Feast, which has been...

Merry Thanksgiving: Here Is Your Safe Space To Drunk-Whine

Are you having yourselves a holly jolly food-fest of a holiday? Watching some beers, drinking some sportsball with your nearest and dearest blood relations or chosen family? Good for you! Go do that, you lucky turduckens! But if you are not ... pull...
Now that's presidential.

Republicans Wish Obama Did Turkey Murder As Good As Sarah Palin

If you're like most Republicans, you're not even HAVING Thanksgiving this year, because you're still upset over how "President" Obama abused his executive powers last year, by pardoning TWO turkeys instead of just one, can you say OUT OF...
You want this. It doesn't matter if you like candy corn OR Jello.

These Candy Corn Jell-o Shots Will Feed Your Sweet Tooth, With Booze

We are eating Candy Corn Jell-O Shots for Halloween. Coconut, orange, and pineapple gelatin with vodka -- party in the test kitchen! The best part about this recipe is that is doesn’t taste like Candy Corn at all. Remember nibbling...

Elizabeth Warren, Dumb Duggars And A Bunch Of Republican Jerkoffs. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Hey Wonkers! It is Sunday, and we hope this post finds you fat and brunched up! We had quite a week, what with the first official debates of Fuckshow 2016. SPOILER ALERT: This campaign is going to be a...
Not in guac you don't.

Things That Do Not Go In Guacamole

Bipartisan unity was at last achieved in these United States on Wednesday after the Grey Lady, the paper of record, suggested something so horrifying that every God-fearing, patriotic American recoiled in disgust, fear and also more disgust. The Times suggested...
Suddenly that gas price no longer indicates how old this photo is!

Let Us Now Praise Famous K-Lo Recipes: Carcass Stuffed With 10 Hamburgers

Important National Review Online pundit Kathryn Jean Lopez only really gets excited twice a year: When she makes up another excuse to get people to send her a bunch of porn, and when Thanksgiving comes around so she can...
HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.

There Is No Escaping This Recipe From Rush Limbaugh With Jello, Stuffed Olives, And Miracle Whip In It

The Ghost of Recipes Past has scanned our archives and found this thing, which had previously run in July 2012. It is more Jell-O, for people who find Mamie Eisenhower a tad intimidating. OK, sure, we made fun of Rush...
"And so what happens in this room?"

Making Thanksgiving ‘Monkey Bread’ With Nancy Reagan

Enjoy this Wonkette Holiday Classic recipe all over again, as though The Gipper was still wandering around somewhere. Whatever the hell "monkey bread" might be -- something racist, we assume -- it was the thing our favorite first lady Nancy...

Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette’s Real Cranberry Business

The following is our annual repost of Ken Layne's Real Cranberry Business, because when we bought this bitch we bought the archives too. One hundred and seventy two years from now, "Ken Layne" will be retelling his cranberry business...

Need Brownies? Try These Super Intense Fudgy Brownies

I really wanted brownies. You know how it is! What am I going to do when I want brownies, but the only sugar I have on hand is raw sugar? I’m going through with it anyway, to enjoy the...
Perry seems to have better technique

What Is Wonkette Ramming Down Your Throat Today?

Corn dogs. It has come to this, and the devil is dancing tonight! Corn dogs are the terribleness I was up on Faceborg, drunk, and Trix found me out. I have been dispatched to bring this special summertime delight to...