How’s that vein in your forehead? Poppin’ fresh? No? You’re happy?! Well that won’t do at all! Here, read this story about how Wall Street firms are furiously buying up cheap homes, renting them out, refusing to treat infestations of vermin, threatening legal action against renters for things that aren’t their fault, and (of course) bundling monthly rent […]

America’s Time-Travel and Causality Crisis grew worse last week as Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R-Azkaban) blamed the 2008 recession on his predecessor and likely opponent in 2014, former Gov. Charlie Crist, who served from 2007 to 2011: “We never should have had that downturn,” Scott told the Sayfie Review Florida Leaders Summit in Orlando, suggesting […]

Hey, remember when the economy went to hell and one in ten workers were out of a job  and millions of Americans lost their homes? That was awful, but LUCKILY rich people have completely recovered from the Great Recession (and then some!), so Congress is now finally able to tackle the very pressing matter of cutting the […]

(Rome) I just finished a perfectly-prepared sardine antipasti, caprese salad, and a plate of grilled calamari. The wine was a Pinot Grigio from the area. Nice. It’s hot as hell here, but a breeze is blowing off Palatine Hill, where Romulus and Remus suckled the she-wolf. When I close my eyes I can almost hear […]

Remember a long, long time ago, WAY back, when the economy was ruined, possibly forever, along with life as we know it? Remember how this was all caused by a handful of banks but then this somehow got turned around and blamed on bunch of Poors? And then, remember how we gave them a bunch of money […]

Smegma-lipped poutmonster Rick Santorum, continuing his streak of saying only and at all times sensible and logically sound things, reminded Americans today that it was President B. HUSSEIN Obama who retroactively caused the housing crash because of how he is a Gaia-worshipping lesbian Wiccan dildonic priestess who hates America, and low gas prices, and Jesus. […]

After Mitt Romney’s on-the-defensive appearance in Sunday morning’s MSNBC/Facebook debate, the frontrunner showed up at the Nashua Chamber of Commerce in Nashua, NH Monday to give an address in which he admitted that he “likes being able to fire people who provide services to me.” The context was health care: Romney evidently thought that the […]

Well, here is what the librul pundits call a “bright spot” of news for Barack Obama, because despite the fact that almost 9 in 10 Americans can correctly identify the economy as a putrid rat carcass infected with colonies of soul-eating viruses, they can by a wide majority also still (MIRACULOUSLY, WE ARE IMPRESSED) correctly […]

Here is your official notice that Hope and Change have perished from the earth, forever. A struggling young pregnant Indiana mother of three was fired from her job because of pregnancy complications because that is how the market stays “efficient,” so she is selling off a personal letter that Obama wrote her last November in […]

Let’s weigh your options for this Thanksgiving holiday: There’s either subjecting yourself to the TSA’s new fingering policy or NOT GOING ANYWHERE. If America’s Top Molesting Force is insisting that it’s necessary to see everybody naked, and forbidding the transport of cranberry sauce unless it’s out of reach of anal probing, then this is the […]

OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMY  2:00 pm January 8, 2010

by Jim Newell

HAPPY FRIDAY! “A far more disturbing number (in Table A-1 of today’s BLS release) shows that ‘persons not in the labor force’ increased by about 840,000 between November and December, from 83,022,000 to 83,865,000. That’s seasonally-adjusted; unadjusted, the number is closer to a million… What happened to the million Americans who went missing from the […]

How does Fox News trim the work force during a terrible recession without mentioning layoffs at all? Just put out an “internal memo” announcing a sudden & comical “zero tolerance” for the constant fuckups and intentional lies that make Fox News so funny. (The memo went out Friday, so it didn’t mention today’s hilarious idiocy.) […]

By the Comics CurmudgeonI will not lie to you: Sometimes political cartoons can be confusing! Especially for you, the unwashed masses, who never got any proper art education in school because your elected officials decided that Americans needed to know more about “science” and “math” and a bunch of poindextery stuff like that. Fortunately, your […]

Sorry but this might be a “LOCALS ONLY” post and the rest of you are just going to have to deal with that, okay? Okay. PSST, HUMANS IN WASHINGTON: our local professional sports team, the Redskins, who play in Maryland, is the worst organization on Earth!

Poor Rhode Island is a wee state with a huge unemployment problem, horrible taxes, and an abysmally high cost of living. Fortunately, it’s also got a governor with a can-do attitude who sees one very obvious way to dig the state out of its current budget mess: just get state workers to take two and […]