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Tag: recession

Middle Class Better Off Than It’s Been Since Bush’s Financial Crisis, THANKS OBAMA

We got all your SEXXXY ECONOMIC NEWS right here!
You too can scam your way to the Republican nomination. Ask me how!

Moody’s: Donald Trump Would Be ‘Bad’ For The Economy, Is That Even Possible?

Moody's analyzed Donald Trump's economic plans. They are very bad, if what you want is "an economy."

Breitbart Does Great Job Fact-Checking Obama’s SOTU, Except For All The Facts

Shortly after the president concluded his final State of the Union, Breitbart -- the internet's shrieking, shit-throwing chimpanzee colony -- decided to "fact-check" the speech. It went as badly as you'd expect. Because we really love rubbing salt in the wounds of human beings as...
You're getting your poverty on us, Ben

Former Fed Chair Ben Bernanke Denied Refinanced Mortgage Like Common Poor

The next time you see Ben Bernanke and he's all like, "Bro, could you spot me five bucks, bro?" do NOT spot him five bucks, bro, because Bernanke ain't good for it. That's not our opinion, it's the opinion...

Wall Street Is Your New Landlord, Please Pay Your Rent Or The Economy Will Crash Again, Thanks!

How's that vein in your forehead? Poppin' fresh? No? You're happy?! Well that won't do at all! Here, read this story about how Wall Street firms are furiously buying up cheap homes, renting them out, refusing to treat infestations of vermin, threatening...

Florida Gov. Rick Scott Discovers True Cause Of 2008 Recession: Previous Florida Gov. Charlie Crist

America's Time-Travel and Causality Crisis grew worse last week as Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R-Azkaban) blamed the 2008 recession on his predecessor and likely opponent in 2014, former Gov. Charlie Crist, who served from 2007 to 2011: "We never should...

With Nothing Else to Worry About, Congress Cuts Food Stamp Budget

Hey, remember when the economy went to hell and one in ten workers were out of a job  and millions of Americans lost their homes? That was awful, but LUCKILY rich people have completely recovered from the Great Recession (and then...

Around The World With Lloyd Dangle: Tea Party Lessons For The Whores Of Rome

(Rome) I just finished a perfectly-prepared sardine antipasti, caprese salad, and a plate of grilled calamari. The wine was a Pinot Grigio from the area. Nice. It's hot as hell here, but a breeze is blowing off Palatine Hill,...

Who Will Rescue the Banks From these Anti-American Assaults on Their Freedom?

Remember a long, long time ago, WAY back, when the economy was ruined, possibly forever, along with life as we know it? Remember how this was all caused by a handful of banks but then this somehow got turned around...

Noted Economist Rick Santorum: Witch Obama Caused Housing Crash

Smegma-lipped poutmonster Rick Santorum, continuing his streak of saying only and at all times sensible and logically sound things, reminded Americans today that it was President B. HUSSEIN Obama who retroactively caused the housing crash because of how he...

Romney Likes Firing People

After Mitt Romney's on-the-defensive appearance in Sunday morning's MSNBC/Facebook debate, the frontrunner showed up at the Nashua Chamber of Commerce in Nashua, NH Monday to give an address in which he admitted that he "likes being able to fire...

Americans Still Mysteriously Blame Bush for Terrible Economy

Well, here is what the librul pundits call a "bright spot" of news for Barack Obama, because despite the fact that almost 9 in 10 Americans can correctly identify the economy as a putrid rat carcass infected with colonies...

Broke Americans Selling Personal Letters From Obama To Pay Bills

Here is your official notice that Hope and Change have perished from the earth, forever. A struggling young pregnant Indiana mother of three was fired from her job because of pregnancy complications because that is how the market stays...

Avoid a Very Anal Thanksgiving By Staying In DC

Let's weigh your options for this Thanksgiving holiday: There's either subjecting yourself to the TSA’s new fingering policy or NOT GOING ANYWHERE. If America's Top Molesting Force is insisting that it's necessary to see everybody naked, and forbidding the...

HAPPY FRIDAY! "A far more disturbing number (in Table A-1 of today’s BLS release) shows that 'persons not in the labor force' increased by about 840,000 between November and December, from 83,022,000 to 83,865,000. That’s seasonally-adjusted; unadjusted, the number...

Fox News Bosses Suddenly Want To Fire Everyone For Constant Idiot Errors & Lies

How does Fox News trim the work force during a terrible recession without mentioning layoffs at all? Just put out an "internal memo" announcing a sudden & comical "zero tolerance" for the constant fuckups and intentional lies that make...