Tag Archives: recaps

  you'll have the time of your life

We Guarantee You Can’t Get Enough Of These Happy Nice Time Links

What have we got for you over at Happy Nice Time today? What haven’t we got! First, because everyone in the universe has decided that Sunday is the only night that people watch television anymore, we have recaps! Read more on We Guarantee You Can’t Get Enough Of These Happy Nice Time Links…
  just borrow donald trump for an episode

Newsroom Recap, Season 1 Episode Something: It Is Long Past Time To Fire Maggie

Last night’s Newsroom was about many important things presumably, like good journalists being very angry about having to cover the snuff porn that was the Casey Anthony trial, and Rupert Murdoch’s British phone-tapping empire, and Olivia Munn being awesome. There was probably some other Issues in there as well, who can remember? But the only important question left is: with all the talented out-of-work journalists out there, why haven’t they yet fired Maggie? Read more on Newsroom Recap, Season 1 Episode Something: It Is Long Past Time To Fire Maggie…
  newsies

Newsroom Episode Four: How Is Aaron Sorkin Belittling Women Today?

After Gabrielle Giffords (HIIII GABBY! HIIII!) is shot and almost killed in a Tucson strip mall toward the end of this week’s Old Man Sorkin Presents: Get Off My Lawn, there is a devastatingly suspenseful sequence when we literally were on the edge of our mattress wondering if fictional news network ACN was going to succumb to peer pressure and Pronounce Congresswoman Giffords Dead. For serious, we were in suspense, not even kidding, but of course Aaron Sorkin (played by Jeff Daniels) and his producer, Avian Bones, do the right thing and wait for actual confirmation beyond that NPR reporter’s most horrifying career moment (which we are very sure he or she is super glad to be able to relive). Because they are perfect, and will civilize the rest of us even if it means Carrie Bradshaw will die of thirst because every Cosmo in the world has given its life to be thrown in Sorkin’s civilizing face. Read more on Newsroom Episode Four: How Is Aaron Sorkin Belittling Women Today?…
  alien vs. predator

Massive Heaps Of Elephant Dung: A Recap Of Sigourney Clinton Playing Hillary Weaver, In Political Animals!

It is the night of “election primary,” because the Sigourney Clinton vehicle “Political Animals” is just that sophisticated, and we are literally five minutes in and we are already shrieking and dying for the subtlety of an Aaron Sorkin Newsroom. It is “Getting To Know You” time, and we have already seen: Sigourney Clinton in a Disco Pansuit that at first looks like purple velour like she is Al Sharpton; her son announced as gay, for the sake of VERY FAST NARRATIVE; his grandma Ellen Burstyn calling him a homo while asking for a couple fingers of liquor; Sigourney’s husband being caught in the act of horndogging and boob-signing; and Sigourney saying that BECAUSE OF HER a woman will be elected president, someday. Oh, and her husband, Jowly Bill Clinton, violating the First Rule of Rules for Commenting Radicals. NOT SUBTLE, WHATEVER CHANNEL THIS IS. Read more on Massive Heaps Of Elephant Dung: A Recap Of Sigourney Clinton Playing Hillary Weaver, In Political Animals!…
  we think we just got stupider

‘What’s The Matter With Willow?’ And Other Questions Inspired By Last Night’s ‘Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp’

Apparently last week or the week before, which we did not watch, in fact we might have skipped like five weeks whoops, Bristol was defeated by Los Angeles and headed home after like a week and a half, because “homosexuals.” Now she is back with her absolutely hamburger-brained boyfriend, Gino, whom she was so keen to leave in the premiere, because he was terrible. We don’t remember why he was terrible, and our previous recap is no help in the matter. Because we were drunk. So it’s “Valentimes” Day, as Gino calls it and calls it and calls it again, because he is both gross and horrifically uneducated. And everything is swell between them, with Gino even being really nice to the offputtingly bratty and entitled and hyper and fed-cupcakes-before-dinner Aryan Angel, Tripp. Read more on ‘What’s The Matter With Willow?’ And Other Questions Inspired By Last Night’s ‘Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp’…
  wonkette teevee

A Wonkette Recap Of HBO’s ‘Newsroom’: Will They Hump? Yes, They Will Hump

Jeff Daniels is sitting on a college panel, and he’s being a dick. He sneers half-assed answers to every question, and then he gets asked a question by a pretty young blonde woman, about America Is Awesome U-S-A. He tries not to answer it some more until he sees the Girl With the Avian Bones in the audience and she keeps shooting him a note from the very back row of the auditorium and he can totally read it and her note tells him to go on a massive Aaron Sorkin screed about why America sucks, so he does, because she hypnotized him with her Queen of Hearts. But also he insults the young blonde woman a lot, because he is a misogynist. Here is your newest Aaron Sorkin stand-in, America. Ladies, you must all now let him do sex to your vaginas. So then Aaron Sorkin is at work, and everybody has quit because he’s a hateful turd pile, and then Jack McCoy is his boss and he is drunk, and he has hired Avian Bones to be Aaron Sorkin’s executive producer, and she is an awesome war correspondent lady who has been stabbed and shot at so much, and she and Aaron Sorkin used to pork it is soooo obvious because of the massive tantrum he throws when the drunk DA tells Sorkin he has already hired her. And then Aaron Sorkin does this INSANELY GROSS control-freak shithead thing where he gets her contract renegotiated so he has the opportunity to fire her every week because he only likes her under his thumb even though she is The World’s Greatest Journalist, Everyone Agrees. WAY TO NOT BE A MASSIVE SEXUAL HARASSER, AARON SORKIN. Read more on A Wonkette Recap Of HBO’s ‘Newsroom’: Will They Hump? Yes, They Will Hump…
 

Analyzing The Analysis: Drunkenly Liveblogging Bald Commentators

Oh good God is it over? Where did the nice lady in the suitjacket the color of a Crate & Barrel couch go? Now we see only Keith Olbermann in earth tones. Amazingly, he is less annoying than the Folks asking the questions in tonight’s interminable debate. Read more on Analyzing The Analysis: Drunkenly Liveblogging Bald Commentators…