Marcus “Black-Chop” Epstein (someone come up with a better nickname!), seen here with drunk popinjay Christopher Hitchens at one of Reason magazine’s monthly medieval blood orgies, will not enroll at UVA law school this fall, according to the university’s Dean of Admissions in reply to queries from TPM and, more reliably, a Wonkette commenter. And what’s this! And this! [TPM]

We have been looking far and wide for the ultimate Blago doppelganger and here he is: the famous local zombie editor of Reason, Nick Gillespie. Or is Gillespie just too cool? [Jerry Brito via The Corner]

Your Wonkette despises leaving the house, ever, except for such things as food, but even that can frequently come in the form of home delivery these days, what with the Internet and all. But it is Holiday season, alas, and we feel obligated to cover DC’s many terrible holiday parties! Last night, your Wonkette, along with visiting college friend operative “Stephen,” went to two (2) parties that had absolutely nothing to do with The Holidays. The first was a “send-off to the White House” shindig at the Hawk and Dove for Obama’s fierce new press secretary, Robert Gibbs! This was almost certainly a “party crash;” we had absolutely no business being there. The second was a 40th anniversary party or something for libertarian deathrag Reason, which was just a bunch of drunk Cato Institute staffers from Norway getting belligerent at a filthy bar in Dupont. Endless tales of treachery and violence follow. MORE »

John McCain works every day with the only things he loves: domestic terrorists, Idaho bathroom goblins, KKK racists, child fuckers, international terrorists, oil companies, abortions, Mexicans, Saddam Hussein, etc. Quickly email this to everyone, using an AOL or Hotmail account, and add some ALL CAPS. [Reason]

Your associate editor was prepared to go to this funny-sounding debate party last Friday at the D.C. headquarters of libertarian masturbation pamphlet Reason, one for which Bob Barr was invited to yell at Obama and McCain on the teevee, live. Ineffectiveness and vanity on this level is, of course, the very essence of libertarianism. So instead your editor incoherently liveblogged from home, viciously drunk (sorry!) and FAR AWAY from the old yelling octoroon. But Liz Glover went in our stead, and she brought a sidekick! MORE »

Oh well, what the hell, here you go, interviews with Alaskan reporter Bill Scannell, Reason editor Matt Welch, BlogAds boss Henry Copeland, and your Wonkette editors. It is all dark, as is life, the end.

Ha ha, these people are funny because they named their magazine “Paranoia,” meaning they recognize that they are simply insane people with a printing press. [Reason]

We sent our Liz Glover and Jim Newell to the Reason happy hour/cocktail party that the Reason staff has every month to celebrate putting out their monthly issue. And then we waited for the funny report, and the fun video, but it never showed up, so we will just run this transcript that seems to cover what did or didn’t happen. It’s the “new journalism.” MORE »

Iowa Sen. Tom Harkin recently explained that medical marijuana cannot be legalized, because parents would sell their children to South Asian Neo-Pirates in order to get that dreaded “high fix.” But now some guy is selling a baby for $1,000 on Craigslist so he can buy more “methamphetamine.” Tom Harkin was right, and medical marijuana is to blame, along with libertarian hippies at Reason magazine who condone this sort of behavior so long as they get a high fix. [Local 6]

On this day in 1935, during the Great Depression, Doctor Ron Paul was born somewhere, in Pennsylvania. Ever since, his online fans have been readying for the 2008 race and the inevitable 2009 inauguration of our 44th president, President Dr. Ron Paul. MORE »

There was a party Friday night for Reason magazine Senior Editor Brian Doherty’s new book Radicals for Capitalism: A Freewheeling History of the Modern American Libertarian Movement. The over-partied duo of Liz Gorman and Intern Nick were given strict instructions to play nice with the Libertarians, while doing reconnaissance on the hot new Reason offices near Dupont Circle.

Your photo gallery is right here and your party report, featuring Nick’s wide-eyed fascination with and slight fear of libertarians, is after the jump.

Reason Magazine’s “Radicals For Capitalism” Party Gallery

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