President Obama basically alienated every law enforcement official in the country when he called that Cambridge cop an ignoramus during his health care phone-a-thon on Wednesday. And now the DC chapter of the National Fraternal Order of Police has publicly chastised the President! MORE »

Wednesday, July 15: Today, for your dining pleasure, head to Capitol Hill to watch Playboy Playmate of the Year, Jayde Nicole, hand out veggie hot dogs while wearing only strategically placed lettuce leaves. Why, yes, this is the diabolical work of PETA in celebration of National Veggie Dog Day. Get there early to score your very own copy of PETA’s Vegetarian Starter Kit! Starts at noon. [Veggie Dogs] MORE »

DC is the capital of many things, not just Virginia. For instance, it’s a major destination for senseless violence, and it’s also a “must-visit” for any tourist looking to snag a little “Capitol Hill Dome,” in exchange for a crack pebble. Yes, this is a miserable place. But sometimes — not often, but now and then — something magical happens. Like when three transvestites mug a woman, and then use her credit card to buy panties at Victoria’s Secret. Oh wait, this happened in Fredericksburg. Never mind. [Washington Examiner] MORE »

OMG PEOPLE ARE TWATTING ABOUT REAL WORLD DC TWATS! First, MTV built “love sacks,” and we did nothing. Now, the actual cast of this program, well they are walking around DC! People are doing the Twitter about this! We may have to send Intern Riley over there to hand out some poop-tarts. [Washington City Paper]

Whoa, the news scoops keep coming from City Paper about the horrific plans for the Real World gloom factory on 20th St. NW: The contractors have been instructed to install frightening “Love Sacks” — five of them, in a testicle-shaped “bay window,” so that neighbors and passers-by will have to watch the eight (?) cast members in constant acts of sodomy whilst perched upon said Love Sacks. MORE »

What kind of DC buildings generally require a large room called a “confessional,” hmmm? Maybe churches? But nobody builds churches anymore. Maybe Michael Steele’s dream plans for the new GOP headquarters, where the Republicans can boozily admit to their various crimes of racism and pedophilia? NO EVEN BETTER, this is a scoop from the Washington City Paper: Actual blueprints for the Real World DC “weeping chamber,” where the young and talentless stars of this year’s edition of some old MTV comedy will be forced to admit to terrible, terrible things. MORE »

All the food buzz these days seems to about where the Obamas are eating, or the restaurants to avoid because they’re infested with interns, or where those kids from the Real World are going to eat their first meal in the big city. MORE »

MTV’s hit ’90s sitcom The Real World is supposedly filming in D.C. at one point or another, and Wonkette operative ‘jake the catfish’ thinks this will be their secret special fucking house: “2000 S Street is the real world house. heres the pic. furious pace of work. meters blocked off. hipsters smoking cigs in front. dude in the doorway wouldnt say shit to me when i casually asked what was going on. White vans all over. i work across the street. telecom equipment on the roof. peeked in - theyre hanging a chandelier in the entry way by the stairwell. Thaiphoon is in serious luck. so is the secret safeway. not in luck - those of us who work across the street who hate d-bags.” This sure is some Hot Gossip!

We have a bad feeling about this: TeeVee atrocity The Real World, which basically invented “reality television” about 15 years ago, in San Francisco, when this fucking bike messenger with tattoos on his legs would show up to what had been fun bars, and then people would say, “Oh that is the bike messenger from teevee’s The Real World,” is probably coming to Washington with its would-be famous young people with no talent. You will see these people in the bars and cheaper restaurants, and you will know them by the MTV production van and fat camera guys following the kids everywhere, and sticking those very bright hideous annoying lights in your face, when you are trying to have a fucking drink somewhere. MORE »

* Paging: N.W.A. [Velvet In Dupont] MORE »

* Does this mean that Kevin Kline can see the future? [The Rake] MORE »