Wonkette

The collapse of the U.S. housing market and the U.S. occupation of Iraq are both total disasters, but did you know they are similar in so many other ways? MORE »

America’s news business is finally admitting what people trying to unload a house have known for the past year: The real-estate bubble has popped, and if you own a house today you might as well get comfortable there … assuming you can keep up with the adjustable-rate mortgage even as you fall into “negative equity.” MORE »

* Alberto Gonzales is pretty sure his only “mistake” was not squashing dissenting attorneys beneath his ostrich skin boot heel. [WP, NYT, WSJ, LAT]
* Iraq withdrawal “showdown” starts today in Senate, Republicans confident that, “President Bush is still popular and his Iraq strategy is popular.” [WP, NYT]
* 9/11 security reforms passed by Senate yesterday face White House veto on grounds that TSA employees must have only one (1) pot to piss in, no more. [WP, NYT]
* Democrats on the lookout for $800 billion to cover, you know, “a health-insurance program for children, public education, veterans’ health care and local police.” [WP, NYT]
* Your buddy with the really hot condo is killing the economy. [WP, LAT]
* Pretend like you haven’t heard this one before: DC voting rights bills starts in House. [WP]

* Most things in DC, including the housing market, look a lot like 1996. [Urban Trekker]
* Reviews of the D’vine Cravings Bakery and The Julie Sumner Salon and Spa, both opening in Shaw. [remaking le slum historique]
* A case for the Slack Key Guitar showcase at Wolf Trap. [Read Express]
* For sale: velvet painting of Karl Rove’s vagina neck. Father’s Day? [Metroblogging DC]
* On the tricky logistics of getting Arcade Fire tickets: “We here at The Upstate Life are more concerned about fucking up the image verification system than anything else. One slip of the finger can seriously push you back ten rows at the very least. Shit is harder to read than a tourist interpreting a DC cab zone map.” [The Upstate Life]

* Heard on the Hill: Real estate website features on online tour of Samuel Alito’s house… Joe Lieberman voted on Shabbos, walked to the Capitol from his Georgetown house… Orrin Hatch’s website is full of lies. [Roll Call]
* Yeas and Nays: Dennis Kucinich’s website is full of pictures of his hot wife. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Hillary has not co-sponsored legislation to make her husband’s childhood home a national historic site… Tony Snow is going to ask questions of reporters tonight at the Press Club in a hilarious switcharoo. [Politico]

* It wasn’t just Walnuts — half the Senate was passed out in their seats during SOTU. [David All]
* New blog is dedicated to the nut-mouthed wonder. [The Real McCain]
* Barack Obama has more MySpace friends than any other candidate. Barack Obama’s MySpace friends are just as retarded as every other candidate. [Personal Democracy]
* Dick Cheney always sees, “the glass half full … of poison!” [Think Progress]
* Brainless Hill staffers are easy to find. This soulless group took some digging. [TPM Muckracker]
* Nebraska’s new “terror-free” gas station is the redneck equivalent of your hybrid. [Passport]
* John Edwards tells Jason DeParle, “That’s not a house — this is a house.” [Carolina Journal]

Remember the 31st and Q mansion we mentioned last week? The most expensive home ever bought in Washington? The one where an aspiring British politician had his throat slit in the driveway last July? Reliable Source revealed the buyers yesterday: Robert and Elena Allbritton!

Come learn who they are with us, after the jump.

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Developer Herb Miller’s 1.8-acre compound at 31st and Q streets last made the news in July, when a young British Jew was savagely murdered in the driveway by a gang that also tried to rape his companion, Miller’s babysitter who lived in the mansion’s guest apartment. MORE »

* Harry Reid stops the logjammin’ and passes “the toughest reform bill in the history” of the Senate (according to Harry Reid). The lobbyists’ lobbyist is sure it’ll just push bribing further underground, where a greased-up, shirtless Robert Byrd will have to delve to kill it at the root. [WP, LAT]
* John Edwards’ Georgetown manse bought in shady deal by insider-trading grandparent-abusers. [WP]
* Democrats did 100 hours worth of work in somewhere between 42 and 87 hours. [NYT]
* GSA chief Lurita Doan gets so overwrought when she hears the national anthem it makes her want to give no-bid contracts to everybody she knows. [WP]
* Alberto Gonzalez doesn’t have a political bone in his corruption-prosecuting-attorney-replacing body. Anybody that’s got problem with that can take it up with John Cornyn. [WP]
* FISA is for turbos, but Patrick Leahy isn’t willing to follow the white rabbit down the secret court’s hole. [NYT]
* Art Buchwald was a great writer, and he just died. [NYT]

This morning, we learned that if you so much as mention that you know where Tucker Carlson lives, he will get you fired. You can imagine how shocked we were to open up the new Washingtonian and see the picture at right. It’s Tucker Carlson’s new house! Posted right there on the Internet for all to see! We’re sure the offices of the Washingtonian will be receiving a visit from an incensed lawyer very soon. MORE »