Tag: real estate

Internet Rage Brigade Saves Bigot Twins From Gay Marxist Bankers

It was shaping up to be a very bad week for Just for Men Frosted Tips twin spokesmodels David and Jason Benham. First, HGTV cancelled a planned house-flipping reality series with the brothers after the network discovered that their...

Florida Gov. Rick Scott Discovers True Cause Of 2008 Recession: Previous Florida Gov. Charlie Crist

America's Time-Travel and Causality Crisis grew worse last week as Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R-Azkaban) blamed the 2008 recession on his predecessor and likely opponent in 2014, former Gov. Charlie Crist, who served from 2007 to 2011: "We never should...

Marco Rubio Can’t Wait To Get Out Of Middle Class Hell-Hole

Marco Rubio talked last night, we are told (we couldn't hear him over the yowling noises coming from his Sad Hairs), about some stuff. Like the middle class, and how he is middle class, and how he loves living...

Homeowner Teargassed, Shot During Eviction Process, Realtor Finds It Hilarious

When a person is forced to leave his home because, probably, he was unaware that he was being ripped off by Fannie Mae, the authorities sometimes have to take it upon themselves to eradicate said homeowner like so many...

David Brooks Collects Enough Pennies To Buy His $4 Million Dream House

Poor ol' New York Times columnist David Brooks, who writes 1600 dumb words for his newspaper per week, and that's it, has purchased a $3.95 million home in Washington, DC. What a thrifty saver, and a model for all...

Vacant DC Building Claimed As ‘Public Property Under Community Control’

Everywhere, there is vacant real estate. Vacant storefronts, vacant warehouses, vacant McMansions and barns and especially big-city buildings stuck in some twilight of redevelopment or property speculation or repossession. The collapse of the Great Global Real Estate Bubble may...

Own a ‘Great Piece of History’: Buy Ron Paul’s Dumpy House

Well, this is embarrassing. Ron Paul had an investment that wasn't gold? FOR SALE! You too can fuck where Ron Paul fucked his wife for decades and jerk off where Rand Paul jerked off for the very first time! Only...

Bristol Palin Pays $172,000 Cash For Foreclosed Tract House In Arizona

Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like the exciting news that 20-year-old Bristol Palin -- known for getting pregnant as a teenager and not knowing how to dance at all -- has bought a house! Hooray, Bristol! Times are tough for...

Palin Apparently Not Going To Be Subtle About This Running For President Thing

The "will she, won't she?" speculation about Palin in 2012 has become a Washington parlour game – as well as generating free publicity for her new book, which goes on sale this week. In the course of making arrangements for...

The Jews Made Gay Club Owner Carl Paladino Homophobic

Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone about, say, racial relations, and halfway through it the dude is all like, "Really, anything terrible I say about the blacks is totally not racist because MY SISTER DATES A...

Palin Bombs At Trade Show; Could Her Speech Scam Be Finished?

Sleazy grifter Sarah Palin has been raking in the money at various conventions and trade shows, because she became famous in late 2008 when a shameless old man thought she might help his doomed presidential campaign. But Palin's relatively...

America Still Has Its Housing/Mortgage Disaster!

Those lousy Greeks/Europeans, how can they spend so much money propping up their failed economy and jobless cretins and mountains of bad debt? Don't they have capitalist scruples or whatever? Oh yeah, and America's government-run mortgage hander-outer, Fannie Mae,...

Let’s All Guess Who Will Get Ted Kennedy’s Ballin’ Office

Ted Kennedy's been dead for what, a decade or so, in Kennedy-zeitgeist years? It is high time America's other Senators begin tactlessly speculating about who will get his ritzy deluxe Capitol Building office! Here are the specs: third floor,...

Home Prices Go Up Up Up: America Saved!

After dropping like a stone for the past three or four years, existing home prices in the United States went up a little teeny tiny bit in the second quarter of 2009. HOORAY WE CAN REFINANCE OUR WAY TO...

New Data Shows Economy Still Sucks

Remember all that talk about how the unemployment rate fell by .1 percent last month and this proved, definitively, that happy days were here again? Remember all the sailors kissing ladies in the streets, and the wonderful ticker-tape parades?...

Rich People Missing Out On Housing Rebound

Sad news! While sales of peasant dwellings have begun to creep upward due to the first-time home buyer tax credit, low mortgage rates, expanded FHA loans, and of course FIRE SALE PRICING on foreclosed homes, homes costing more than...