Tag Archives: real estate

  la cage aux folles: the sequel

The Jews Made Gay Club Owner Carl Paladino Homophobic

Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone about, say, racial relations, and halfway through it the dude is all like, “Really, anything terrible I say about the blacks is totally not racist because MY SISTER DATES A BLACK GUY AND I’M TOTALLY FINE WITH IT”? This is an annoying but sometimes effective rhetorical technique that maybe New York gubernatorial candidate/crazed maniac Carl Paladino should take in regards to the gays. You see, it doesn’t really matter if he gave some mean speech about them brainwashing America’s youth, because he totally was a landlord to a couple of gay clubs, back in the ’00s! Wait, what? Read more on The Jews Made Gay Club Owner Carl Paladino Homophobic…
  lazy snowbilly grifter

Palin Bombs At Trade Show; Could Her Speech Scam Be Finished?

Sleazy grifter Sarah Palin has been raking in the money at various conventions and trade shows, because she became famous in late 2008 when a shameless old man thought she might help his doomed presidential campaign. But Palin’s relatively small fan base — maybe 2 million dumb people in a nation of 309 million? — may have spent all the money they have to spend on her idiot shenanigans and shameless embrace of the liberal celebrity lifestyle. Plus, she keeps giving the same stupid “campaign speech” at these events — hardly bothering to even mention the industry that paid her six figures to show up and spew her ignorant nonsense. Read more on Palin Bombs At Trade Show; Could Her Speech Scam Be Finished?…
  and mcain vows to make it worse

America Still Has Its Housing/Mortgage Disaster!

Those lousy Greeks/Europeans, how can they spend so much money propping up their failed economy and jobless cretins and mountains of bad debt? Don’t they have capitalist scruples or whatever? Oh yeah, and America’s government-run mortgage hander-outer, Fannie Mae, needs another $8.4 billion to get through next week maybe, things have been sort of tough, what with the $11.5 billion loss just in the first quarter of this year. Read more on America Still Has Its Housing/Mortgage Disaster!…
  children's guessing games

Let’s All Guess Who Will Get Ted Kennedy’s Ballin’ Office

Ted Kennedy’s been dead for what, a decade or so, in Kennedy-zeitgeist years? It is high time America’s other Senators begin tactlessly speculating about who will get his ritzy deluxe Capitol Building office! Here are the specs: third floor, the Capitol Building, Mall views, “a rustic coffee table that appeared to be hewn out of the old deck of a sailboat,” etc. etc. “It sounds pretty,” said Alabama Senator Richard Selby. First, that coffee table thing actually sounds a bit kitschy. And second, hey, fuck you Richard Selby, show some RESPECT. That office belongs to Ted Kennedy’s ghost until Senate Rules Committee chairman Chuck Schumer gives it to someone else… But WHOM? Read more on Let’s All Guess Who Will Get Ted Kennedy’s Ballin’ Office…
  our flourishing economy

Home Prices Go Up Up Up: America Saved!

After dropping like a stone for the past three or four years, existing home prices in the United States went up a little teeny tiny bit in the second quarter of 2009. HOORAY WE CAN REFINANCE OUR WAY TO HAPPINESS AGAIN! So, the sales price of American houses went up by 2.9% between April Fools Day and the end of June, but they also dropped by 15% as compared to a year earlier. Never mind, we’re still doomed. [Washington Post] Read more on Home Prices Go Up Up Up: America Saved!…
  nation of hobos

New Data Shows Economy Still Sucks

Remember all that talk about how the unemployment rate fell by .1 percent last month and this proved, definitively, that happy days were here again? Remember all the sailors kissing ladies in the streets, and the wonderful ticker-tape parades? Well, everything has gone back to being terrible, according to New Statistics. Read more on New Data Shows Economy Still Sucks…
  our nation's most oppressed minority

Rich People Missing Out On Housing Rebound

Sad news! While sales of peasant dwellings have begun to creep upward due to the first-time home buyer tax credit, low mortgage rates, expanded FHA loans, and of course FIRE SALE PRICING on foreclosed homes, homes costing more than $750,000 have been difficult to move in this market. Wealthy home owners (or “the middle class,” as they’re known in pricey markets like New York, DC, and the Bay Area) are finding it difficult to sell their million-dollar shacks. However, at least some of them are able to rent out their sad dwellings for, oh, $7500 a month, so don’t feel too bad about this problem yet. Read more on Rich People Missing Out On Housing Rebound…
  meet the new wonkette world headquarters

Former AIG Building Will Likely Be Sold For $100 A Square Foot

Is that insanely cheap for commercial real estate? Seems like! Anyhow, the haunted million-square-foot carcass of the former AIG headquarters at 70 Pine and 72 Wall Street in beautiful New York City appears to have found a buyer for the bargain-basement price of $100 million. Who’s the lucky winner, Donald Trump? The Cato Institute? The buyers “would have been carefully vetted,” a source told the New York Post, from which we can conclude it’s just Tom Daschle wasting the last of his lunch money. [New York Post] Read more on Former AIG Building Will Likely Be Sold For $100 A Square Foot…
  we'll burn the new one too

Fiscally Disciplined Country Texas To Spend $11 Million In Obama Money Rebuilding Rick Perry’s House

The best thing to happen in all of Texas last year was when a few Democratic anarcho-syndicalists burned down Rick Perry’s governor’s mansion with a flaming bag of Barney Bush’s poop, maybe. But because the remaining outer shell of this hell castle is a Historical Texas outer shell — and Texas never cheaps out when it comes to honoring its proud history of slavery, violence, oil, and self-importance — the difficult, tedious renovation will cost TWENTY MILLION dollars. CONSIDERING THE COST, the Texas state legislature is now telling Perry that if he wants his dumb house, then $11 million of that sum will have to come out of the Obama Stimulus Package — the thing Perry pretended to hate so much that he vowed to secede over it in ~FY2011. Read more on Fiscally Disciplined Country Texas To Spend $11 Million In Obama Money Rebuilding Rick Perry’s House…
  there is no constitutional right to privacy

‘New York Times’ Officially Stalking David Souter

Just imagine our very private and humble Supreme Court justice sitting in his secluded shack in the woods, looking out the window, only to find some nut lurking behind two trees with a macro zoom lens. Next, the NYT will boil his bunny and put him down a well, for fattening purposes. [New York Times] Read more on ‘New York Times’ Officially Stalking David Souter…
  failures

Obama Unmasked As Fraud, Because This Lady Still Doesn’t Have A Job

Back in early February, before President Obama failed at everything (life), it seemed he could heal the lame and the halt simply by looking at them and saying in a dignified manner, “the stakes are too high.” For example, at a rally in Ft. Myers, he magically transformed the lives of two (2) paupers just by calling on them when they raised their hands. Read more on Obama Unmasked As Fraud, Because This Lady Still Doesn’t Have A Job…
  our flourishing economy

Nation Of Shantytown-Dwellers

Well, here is some depressing news! The hot new housing sector in the US isn’t houses at all: it’s shacks. That’s because the kind of people who used to be your next-door neighbor if you lived in a sort of marginal neighborhood in a largeish city are now squatters living under bridges in Fresno. Hell, maybe you’re one of them. Read more on Nation Of Shantytown-Dwellers…
  new careers!

Eliot Spitzer To Buy All Land, In Washington

Watch out America, because Eliot Spitzer is buying LAND, LAND we tell you! LAND! In Washington D.C., right near where he banged the gal that time in the hotel thing. Read more on Eliot Spitzer To Buy All Land, In Washington…
  ur doing it rong

NEWS FLASH: Loan Modifications Work Best When They Actually Lower Monthly Payments

Criminy! We have been hearing a lot about mortgages that go into default or foreclosure, and how the people holding these mortgages should talk with their lenders about renegotiating their loans. As a normal person with more than two (2) neurons flickering on and off in your brain, you probably assume that the goal here is to make the loans more affordable, which is to say, LOWER IN COST. Apparently banks sometimes disagree. Read more on NEWS FLASH: Loan Modifications Work Best When They Actually Lower Monthly Payments…
  he sleeps in a drawer

Rahm Emanuel, D.C.’s New Hobo King

There is an unwritten rule in D.C. politics that during any given session of Congress, at least one (1) legislator or White House staffer must live in a shameful basement dwelling unfit for human habitation. Senator Norm Coleman once proudly held the title of Hobo King, but then he got (nearly?) run out of office by a comedian from the 80s, and is now locked in a legal battle as vicious as it is dull. You’ll never guess who D.C.’s newest subterranean urchin is, as long as you don’t read the title of this post! Read more on Rahm Emanuel, D.C.’s New Hobo King…
  real estate market

Check Out George Bush’s Sexy New Dallas Home

George W. Bush did indeed buy a house for himself and his wife Laura and his two rat dogs as well! It is in the rich area of Dallas, which is probably a suburb! Look! Read more on Check Out George Bush’s Sexy New Dallas Home…