WASHINGTON, DC, 11:11 PM, MON NOVEMBER 23 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged ‘real estate’

HE SLEEPS IN A DRAWER

Rahm Emanuel, D.C.’s New Hobo King

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

He will cut you for a pack of smokes and a bottle of Boone's FarmThere is an unwritten rule in D.C. politics that during any given session of Congress, at least one (1) legislator or White House staffer must live in a shameful basement dwelling unfit for human habitation. Senator Norm Coleman once proudly held the title of Hobo King, but then he got (nearly?) run out of office by a comedian from the 80s, and is now locked in a legal battle as vicious as it is dull. You’ll never guess who D.C.’s newest subterranean urchin is, as long as you don’t read the title of this post! MORE »


REAL ESTATE MARKET

Check Out George Bush’s Sexy New Dallas Home

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

George W. Bush did indeed buy a house for himself and his wife Laura and his two rat dogs as well! It is in the rich area of Dallas, which is probably a suburb! Look! MORE »


FAIL

Triple-Digit Dow Decline Reversed On News Of 4,000 Cheap New Homes Sold, A Month Ago, Before The Financial Collapse

Monday, October 27th, 2008

Your new model home!Sometimes the stock market is more “faith based” than a mall-church full of unemployed white trash. The Dow did a triple-digit plunge this morning, because the world is actually ending, especially the “making money” part, but it suddenly did a 200-point turnaround on month-old data suggesting a whole 4,000 heavily marked-down new homes sold in September, before the complete collapse of all American and Global stock markets. What? MORE »


REAL 'MURKINS

Wonkette Interviews Protester At Virginia Obama Rally

Friday, October 24th, 2008

Wonkette videographer and local hero Liz Glover covered an Obama rally Wednesday in Leesburg, a rich person’s town in Northern Virginia. Who cares what Obama said — probably HOPE HOPE HOPE BLAH PFFT — Liz was more interested in the McCain-Palin fans who showed up just to stare at all of the liberals. Here’s one fella she met, a professional in the very reckless industry that is currently destroying the global economy, thanks. He is worried about “Socialism” and hates all of the Illegal Mexicans with whom he, uh, works. [YouTube]


OUR HOBO ECONOMY

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

WE HAVEN’T HIT BOTTOM YET: “With a winning bid of just $1.75, a Chicago woman has won an auction for an abandoned home in Saginaw.” [AP/Yahoo]


THE MIDDLE CLASS

Buy One of John McCain’s Unwanted Mansions, For $12 Million!

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Hey, this is not technically a mansion!
Got $12 million burning a hole in your pockets? Need a new mansion in Arizona? How about this little place, one of John and Cindy McCain’s unwanted castles? MORE »


REPUBLICANS

Foreclosed Homeowners Don’t Deserve To Vote!

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

Homes and voting are privileges, not rights!Oh God now it begins: our quadrennial debate about voter fraud versus vote suppression. The head of the Republican Party in Macomb County, Michigan has decided that a wonderful way to protect against “voter fraud” will be to get lists of foreclosed homes and check those against voter rolls to make sure that people whose houses are foreclosed — and what is that, about 130 percent of all Michigan residents at this point? — don’t get to vote if they aren’t residents of those addresses anymore. MORE »


ELITIST MAPS

McCain’s Houses Are Mostly Condos, Which Don’t Count

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

The DNC has sent us this lovely map of John McCain’s houses and airplanes and gnome slaves. Since they’ve made it terribly unreadable, you may view it full size in right here. But to the point: this is devastating you see! Because most of his properties are “condominiums,” a fancy rich word that the well-to-do use when referring to what common folks call “apartments.” And can you even believe this Fun Fact that one of McCain’s “condos” — that is rich slang for “condominiums” — has a concierge, a French word meaning, “house slave who shows rich people the least congested route to the airport during rush hour.”


ELITE HOMEOWNERS

Virginia Governor Tim Kaine Cracks Wise About John McCain’s Millions Of Homes

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

OK, now that thing Peggy Noonan wrote about Tim Kaine’s hair makes sense. But that is not the point! The point is Tim Kaine made a crack about how John McCain can’t count very high, because John McCain is a rich man who makes his wife’s slaves do his counting for him. [YouTube]


THE OWNERSHIP SOCIETY

John McCain Does Not Know How Many Baronial Estates He Has

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

That hot dog cost $500In 2004 all the Republicans hated the Democratic ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy (and just insane) woman. But now that it is 2008, all the Democrats hate the Republican ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy, insane woman. How awful is Fat Cat John McCain? So awful that he literally has no idea how many homes “he” owns. MORE »


REAL ESTATE

Eliot Spitzer Now Screwing Distressed Homeowners

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Ohhhhhh! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrring! YipYipYipYipYipYipYipDisgraced whore-fucker Eliot Spitzer is done with this “help people with their lives” nonsense, now that he doesn’t have to govern New York or shut down prostitution rings while patronizing those same prostitution rings. He is ready to earn ONE BILLION WHORE DIAMONDS by becoming a “vulture” real-estate flipper. MORE »