Wonkette

Disgraced whore-fucker Eliot Spitzer is done with this “help people with their lives” nonsense, now that he doesn’t have to govern New York or shut down prostitution rings while patronizing those same prostitution rings. He is ready to earn ONE BILLION WHORE DIAMONDS by becoming a “vulture” real-estate flipper. MORE »

Clinton campaign spokesperson and offensive sweater-wearer Howard Wolfson doesn’t have a lot to be happy about these days, but at least he finally sold his Central Park West condo (pictured, left). The property had been on the market since last July. Now the new owner will be able to enjoy its luxurious limestone bathrooms while Sad Howard sleeps on a grate along with John Edwards’ war veterans. [New York Observer]

Here are some cheery housing numbers, as the bankrupt truckers impotently beep their horns at Congress and the food is rationed and “consumer expectations” hit lows not seen since the early 1970s: More than 6 million homes will go into foreclosure before this housing collapse is finished, and the number of houses now sitting empty in America has reached a staggering 18.6 million — including 2.3 million currently on the market. MORE »

Everybody knows the three rules of real estate: Location, Refinance, Foreclosure. But our best vice president ever, Dick Cheney, is focused on the first part of that maxim by building his “retirement” house literally across the street from CIA headquarters in McLean, Virginia. MORE »

Famed JFK speechwriter and Obama supporter Ted Sorensen has just fetched up a cushy Gotham spread at the Robert A.M. Stern-designed 15 Central Park West for $10.75 million. The massive three-bedroom boasts park views, a wine room, movie theater, health spa and most likely one of those stuffy libraries in which Ted can begin inking Obama speeches.Wine and Views [NYP]

We hear Colin Powell is slowly stockpiling property in Manhattan’s Upper West Side. The former secretary of state dropped $2.76 million for a seven-room apartment on West 93rd. Meanwhile, there have been reports that Sen. Clinton’s mother Dorothy sold her Little Rock condominium for $304,000 (hey, it’s Arkansas, not Aspen) to come live in the Washington area. Does anyone–anyone at all–have a clue as to why? Is she her daughter’s new strategist? Will she be living with Hillary, or in some brutish, depressing assisted-living facility in Arlington? [New York Post] MORE »

Nobody is mourning the suicide of St. Petersburg City Council Chairman John Bryan — “a staunch Republican and former finance chairman for U.S. Sen. Connie Mack” — who sucked a tailpipe Friday afternoon after the story broke that he had sexually molested his adopted daughters and another little girl. MORE »

The collapse of the U.S. housing market and the U.S. occupation of Iraq are both total disasters, but did you know they are similar in so many other ways? MORE »

America’s news business is finally admitting what people trying to unload a house have known for the past year: The real-estate bubble has popped, and if you own a house today you might as well get comfortable there … assuming you can keep up with the adjustable-rate mortgage even as you fall into “negative equity.” MORE »

* Alberto Gonzales is pretty sure his only “mistake” was not squashing dissenting attorneys beneath his ostrich skin boot heel. [WP, NYT, WSJ, LAT]
* Iraq withdrawal “showdown” starts today in Senate, Republicans confident that, “President Bush is still popular and his Iraq strategy is popular.” [WP, NYT]
* 9/11 security reforms passed by Senate yesterday face White House veto on grounds that TSA employees must have only one (1) pot to piss in, no more. [WP, NYT]
* Democrats on the lookout for $800 billion to cover, you know, “a health-insurance program for children, public education, veterans’ health care and local police.” [WP, NYT]
* Your buddy with the really hot condo is killing the economy. [WP, LAT]
* Pretend like you haven’t heard this one before: DC voting rights bills starts in House. [WP]