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Posts Tagged ‘real estate’

McCain’s Houses Are Mostly Condos, Which Don’t Count

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

The DNC has sent us this lovely map of John McCain’s houses and airplanes and gnome slaves. Since they’ve made it terribly unreadable, you may view it full size in right here. But to the point: this is devastating you see! Because most of his properties are “condominiums,” a fancy rich word that the well-to-do use when referring to what common folks call “apartments.” And can you even believe this Fun Fact that one of McCain’s “condos” — that is rich slang for “condominiums” — has a concierge, a French word meaning, “house slave who shows rich people the least congested route to the airport during rush hour.”


Virginia Governor Tim Kaine Cracks Wise About John McCain’s Millions Of Homes

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

OK, now that thing Peggy Noonan wrote about Tim Kaine’s hair makes sense. But that is not the point! The point is Tim Kaine made a crack about how John McCain can’t count very high, because John McCain is a rich man who makes his wife’s slaves do his counting for him. [YouTube]


John McCain Does Not Know How Many Baronial Estates He Has

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

That hot dog cost $500In 2004 all the Republicans hated the Democratic ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy (and just insane) woman. But now that it is 2008, all the Democrats hate the Republican ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy, insane woman. How awful is Fat Cat John McCain? So awful that he literally has no idea how many homes “he” owns. MORE »


Eliot Spitzer Now Screwing Distressed Homeowners

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Ohhhhhh! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrring! YipYipYipYipYipYipYipDisgraced whore-fucker Eliot Spitzer is done with this “help people with their lives” nonsense, now that he doesn’t have to govern New York or shut down prostitution rings while patronizing those same prostitution rings. He is ready to earn ONE BILLION WHORE DIAMONDS by becoming a “vulture” real-estate flipper. MORE »


Howard Wolfson Sold His Condo!

Thursday, May 8th, 2008

Scenic views of the Dust BowlClinton campaign spokesperson and offensive sweater-wearer Howard Wolfson doesn’t have a lot to be happy about these days, but at least he finally sold his Central Park West condo (pictured, left). The property had been on the market since last July. Now the new owner will be able to enjoy its luxurious limestone bathrooms while Sad Howard sleeps on a grate along with John Edwards’ war veterans. [New York Observer]


6.5 Million Foreclosures, 18.6 Million Vacant Homes

Monday, April 28th, 2008

Mr. Joad's Wild Ride.Here are some cheery housing numbers, as the bankrupt truckers impotently beep their horns at Congress and the food is rationed and “consumer expectations” hit lows not seen since the early 1970s: More than 6 million homes will go into foreclosure before this housing collapse is finished, and the number of houses now sitting empty in America has reached a staggering 18.6 million — including 2.3 million currently on the market. MORE »


Cheney’s New House Is CIA Adjacent

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

House of Horrors.Everybody knows the three rules of real estate: Location, Refinance, Foreclosure. But our best vice president ever, Dick Cheney, is focused on the first part of that maxim by building his “retirement” house literally across the street from CIA headquarters in McLean, Virginia. MORE »


Ask Not What You Can Afford…

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

jfk.jpgFamed JFK speechwriter and Obama supporter Ted Sorensen has just fetched up a cushy Gotham spread at the Robert A.M. Stern-designed 15 Central Park West for $10.75 million. The massive three-bedroom boasts park views, a wine room, movie theater, health spa and most likely one of those stuffy libraries in which Ted can begin inking Obama speeches.Wine and Views [NYP]