Wonkette

The first three paragraphs of New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol’s fare today:

Life is full of disappointments.

Early Friday, I went to the Real Clear Politics Web site, as I do every morning, for my fix of political news and commentary. I perked up when I saw the third entry on the list of that day’s notable articles — “No. 44 Has Spoken.”

“Hank Aaron has spoken? Wow,” I thought as I clicked through.

You’ve gotta be a rare strain of “cheeky asshat” to write this horseshit every week. [NYT]

Be warned, be warned Obamanation! You and your little Kenyan friend have got another thing coming if Hillary can win sizable majorities in Texas and Ohio. Her army of mariachi children will storm all of your houses and kill your precious kitties. [Real Clear Politics]

The two California Democratic primary polls that ended yesterday — Zogby and SurveyUSA — have gone in entirely different directions. We’d like to blame Jesse Jackson for this, somehow. John Zogby tends to overstate the Clinton hatred, but SurveyUSA sounds like CompUSA — a bullshit electronics store — so expect some person to win. [Real Clear Politics]

In case you missed the memo, the Democratic primary in Michigan has been stripped of its delegates after the state tried to move the primary earlier than designed in God’s divine plan. All of the candidates withdrew except [sigh] Hillary Clinton, who still only attracts 50 percent of the field. When she goes on Today or some show Wednesday morning to brag about her Michigan victory over nothing, someone please slap that crybaby? I would, but I’m a boy. [Real Clear Politics]