Tag Archives: reagan

  Geraldo too!

Killer Mike Doesn’t Hit His Wife, And Other Reasons Hip-Hop Is More Moral Than Bill O’Reilly

Kinda!
It’s a common trope, if you are a right-wing bigot: Racism doesn’t hurt black people, hippity-hop rap music hurts black people, what with its jiving and twerking and PULL THOSE PANTS UP, and BACK IN MY DAY! In recent months, Fox News white geniuses Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Geraldo Rivera and so many others have all done their own cover versions of the same song. If rap music wasn’t oppressing our innocent black children, racism would be over and “reverse racism” would DEFINITELY be over. Read more on Killer Mike Doesn’t Hit His Wife, And Other Reasons Hip-Hop Is More Moral Than Bill O’Reilly…
  department of gotcha questions

Republican Candidates Agree: The Best Living President Is Ronald Reagan’s Rotting Corpse

It would seem that getting stumped by really simple questions isn’t a problem limited to Jeb Bush being A Idiot. ALL the 2016 Republican candidates are doing it! CNN’s Chris Moody traveled to the South Carolina Freedom Summit, where all the wingnut hopefuls were gathered, and he had one tough gotcha question: “Who’s the best living president?” The hilariously pitiful answer, from all the candidates? NONE OF THEM, KATIE, and also Ronald Reagan’s decomposed bones. No, really, these are their answers: Read more on Republican Candidates Agree: The Best Living President Is Ronald Reagan’s Rotting Corpse…
  there can be only one

Scott Walker Addresses People Of Iowa? New Hampshire? Wait. Wisconsin? Yeah, Wisconsin

Good evening, Des Moines!
It’s a new year, which means government executives all over the country are in the midst of self-congratulatory presentations of cherry-picked accomplishments and passive-aggressively reading lists of future demands. It’s mostly trite and zzzzzzzz but some of them are worth your attention. Well, our attention anyway. You should spend time with the people you love. Read more on Scott Walker Addresses People Of Iowa? New Hampshire? Wait. Wisconsin? Yeah, Wisconsin…
  Federal Judge Tells Gays To Suck It

Louisiana Federal Judge Screws Gays, Lesbians (And Not In The Good Way)

Probably should pull the cone outta his mouth to make room for his foot.
RICK SANTORUM WINS! After years of spewing vitriol from his frothy mouthhole, his lies about how all the gays are just incesting, dog-humping miscreants has finally managed to convince someone! Unfortunately, that someone is a GODDAM FEDERAL JUDGE from Louisiana: Read more on Louisiana Federal Judge Screws Gays, Lesbians (And Not In The Good Way)…
  Watergate was just some movers repossessing office furniture

Peggy Noonan Rattles Her Ice Cubes, Remembers The Grand Old Days Of Iran-Contra

Ah, New York! She had missed it so, had Sister Peggy Noonan of Our Lady of the Joyless Orgasm. The trip to Rome had been just the tonic she needed, a break from the grind of noise and chaos and dodging over-aggressive Uber drivers that made up her life in the City That Never Sleeps. Now she was home, snug in her sitting-parlor with the slip-covered sofa and the wet bar, ready for whatever skullduggery the blackguard in the Oval Office planned to inflict on her beloved America this week. Her copy of the Wall Street Journal, fetched from the building’s stoop by her man-servant, lay on the sideboard. Peggy glanced at the front page and nearly spit a mouthful of martini onto the paper. Benghazi! Tres scandal! She scanned the story. An email! Talking points written! Information possibly massaged by public relations people to make a situation sound less awful! The American people, specifically its inexhaustible supply of AM talk-radio hosts, would need answers immediately. Peggy, having known political scandal in her time, thought surely she had a perspective to lend. Read more on Peggy Noonan Rattles Her Ice Cubes, Remembers The Grand Old Days Of Iran-Contra…
  paint one for the gipper

Muscle Reagan Will Watch Over Staten Island

Sun’s out guns out, Staten Island! Behold Saint Ronald of the Rippling Biceps, Vanquisher of Russia and Crusher of Pull-Up Sets, conveniently located next to A Vape Lounge, where all the cool kids are vaping right now and you’re not even invited. So this is a mural, and it’s made by a man named Scott LoBaido, who really goes all-in on the AMERICA LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT thing. Here is a [sic]’d word slurry from Scott LoBaido’s website about his very favorite art he ever drawed: His greatest creative accomplishment thus far was “Flags across America” where he drove across the United States, in 10 months, and painted a large American flag on one rooftop in each of the 50 states. His goal was to ensure that all soldiers flying home from war would look down and see an American Flag greeting them home … Scott’s mission was to make sure that the soldiers knew how grateful we all are for their service to this great country, and to acknowledge the families of these great men and women, and of coarse express his pride in being a free American. And if you’re thinking, “Phew, I am not a trashy Staten Islander; this stuff might as well be in Montana,” THINK AGAIN, because Muscle Reagan is going to liberate Queens Boulevard soon. Read more on Muscle Reagan Will Watch Over Staten Island…
  morning in amercia

Let Reagan’s Budget Director Explain At You About Gold And The Fed And Other Cool Ron Paul Stuff

Isn’t that nice, Reagan’s former budget director David A. Stockman has taken to the New York Times to scold at us about debt and government spending and the fact that the “recovery” is a “bubble.” The good news is that we weren’t actually aware that there had been a recovery, so when the bubble pops we probably won’t be affected. The bad news, according to this guy anyway, is everything else, but if you frequent Wonkette you are probably used to bad news and can take it. Read more on Let Reagan’s Budget Director Explain At You About Gold And The Fed And Other Cool Ron Paul Stuff…
  wingnuts furious

Obama Outrageously Politicizes 4th Of July Naturalization Ceremony By Mentioning Immigration

One of the nicer Independence Day traditions in this country is the swearing-in of new citizens by the President of the USA. Jaded though we may be in this modern age of instant worldwide communications, 24-hour news cycles, and flying robotic kittycat death drones, we nevertheless actually get a little misty-eyed at the idea that, on the holiday celebrating the nation’s founding, the actual freakin’ PRESIDENT welcomes a bunch of new citizens to enjoy the full rights and responsibilities of being Americans. It’s really kind of awesome. Ah, but not so fast, you sentimental goons! What if that POTUS is himself maybe an illegal alien (we’re not saying he is, but the question has been raised by some) who thinks that maybe it would be a good idea to not deport every last foreign-born child ever? Then we are talking about an entirely different kettle of Indonesian flying fish! And even worse, what if that POTUS uses the occasion of that citizenship ceremony to suggest that American immigration policy might possibly be changed? Well, then, friends and neighbors, what you have is an unprecedented politicization of a sacred national day! Breitbart editor Ben Shapiro, that Platonic Ideal of a bloviating wingnut, is terribly sad for America, because “Even on July 4, President Obama can’t stop campaigning.” Inconceivable! How could a President even think of the election on the 4th of July in an election year? Read more on Obama Outrageously Politicizes 4th Of July Naturalization Ceremony By Mentioning Immigration…
  guided by voices

Former Television Personality Glenn Beck Cuts Last Ties With Sanity, Now Making Believe He Is President

Has former television personality Glenn Beck finally suffered a psychotic break? PROBABLY! He has now built a replica of the Oval Office and will be giving “addresses” from it every week because that is not at all a lunatic thing to do. You guys, we are so excited! What will be the first of Beck’s “Reaganesque” stemwinders? Will Drinky Nooner pen his delicate flourishes? Maybe! Will he go full-Beale? (Yes, he will go full-Beale.) Will he bark at the moon? Of course he will bark at the moon! Let us imagine some of his topics, after the jump! Read more on Former Television Personality Glenn Beck Cuts Last Ties With Sanity, Now Making Believe He Is President…
  just kill all the womenfolk?

Slot Machine Addict & Republican Crook Notes U.S. Men Are Failures

Bloated GOP gambling addict William Bennett makes his millions in many ways, such as his storied tenure on the board of some sketchy “online charter school” that siphons taxpayer money from real public schools. (It was started by Goldman Sachs executives and convicted felon Michael Milken, of course. Bennett “resigned” from the K12 board after an unusually straightforward series of crazed racist ranting about his desire to kill all black children on his own wingnut talk radio program, but there was never a claim that he divested from the corporation.) He also poops out unwanted books now and then, which is one of the more bizarre parts of the American media economy, and is also paid money by CNN both for appearing on its endless, unwatched jabbering panelists programs and also for providing shitty excerpts from his latest book as “web content.” And still, with such a gravy train, this is a person who could only find fulfillment by punching lighted buttons on slot machines like a senile old lady with her oxygen tank parked next to her ashtray. What conservative trope has Bennett dug up and crapped out in book form this time? Oh something about how when “we” (conservative men) weren’t looking, the womens went and stole “our” prestige and jobs and whatever. Read more on Slot Machine Addict & Republican Crook Notes U.S. Men Are Failures…
  this is how reagan won remember?

Newt Gingrich Plan For Success: Win The Black Vote Back From Obama

Street-wise Newt Gingrich is the most hip, in-touch guy who ever came up with an idea for winning. Really! Take this latest one: the Obama guy is screwing up so hard employing African-American voters that they are about to defect straight into Newt’s sweaty little red fingers. That is how it works, right? Black people vote for Republicans when Democrats don’t give them jobs? This will be the kind of shrewd political calculus that will save his undead presidential campaign from that last hurtling pickaxe of zombie death to the heart, because Newt will, in his own words, “have the courage to walk into that neighborhood” and convince that guy in that neighborhood (Newt means “the black neighborhood”) that Newt will give him a job. Read more on Newt Gingrich Plan For Success: Win The Black Vote Back From Obama…
  Ayn Rand's Adventures In Wonderland

A New Hope: Ayn Rand in the 21st Century

Unlike Robert Byrd, Ayn Rand will never die. If you’ve missed any of our previous episodes, you can catch parts one and two and three before subjecting yourself to this, Part IV. Read more on A New Hope: Ayn Rand in the 21st Century…
  disses

George H.W. Bush Trash-Talked Reagan To The Soviets Like Constantly

George H.W. Bush—an equal parts obscure and hated American president whose only historical significance is being half responsible for George W. Bush—didn’t care for Ronald Reagan! Mikhail Gorbachev told the Nation in a recent interview: “In 1987, after my first visit to the United States, Vice President Bush accompanied me to the airport, and told me: ‘Reagan is a conservative. An extreme conservative. All the blockheads and dummies are for him, and when he says that something is necessary, they trust him. But if some Democrat had proposed what Reagan did, with you, they might not have trusted him.” Is it too late to give George H.W. Bush’s stupid one term to Reagan, where it belongs? [Raw Story] Read more on George H.W. Bush Trash-Talked Reagan To The Soviets Like Constantly…
  daily briefing

It’s Like Ahmadinejad Doesn’t Even *Get* What The Spirit Of Rosh Hashanah Is All About

Happy New Year (or “Rosh Hashanah”) to all Wonkette’s Jewish friends! Traditionally one rings in the new year by dipping apples in honey and telling one’s parents that of course, one is absolutely going to synagogue tonight. [Washington Post] Read more on It’s Like Ahmadinejad Doesn’t Even *Get* What The Spirit Of Rosh Hashanah Is All About…
  think about it

When All Else Fails, Think

Think tanks have this magical ability to fix all the evil in the world, just by thinking. This week they solve the Middle East crisis (ABOUT TIME) and explain how the financial crisis has affected everyone from children to small animals to the newest crop of starving, underpaid/unpaid interns in DC.  And the Heritage Foundation even manages to find the time to praise everyone’s favorite dead conservative, Ronald Reagan, again. Read more on When All Else Fails, Think…
 

Good-bye To Our ‘Queen of Hearts’ & America’s First Lady, Jane Wyman

Today, flags are at half mast — including Ronnie’s, in this undated publicity photo — and America is mourning as we say a fond farewell to America’s First Lady, actress Jane Wyman. Ms. Wyman was one of the wives of our greatest president, Ronald Reagan, before he replaced her with Nancy “Reagan” Davis. Read more on Good-bye To Our ‘Queen of Hearts’ & America’s First Lady, Jane Wyman…
 

Giving Iraqis the Middle Finger

The pointing and the thumbs-up and all the usual crazy-man hand gestures Rumsfeld performs whenever he drops in on Iraq? Deeply offensive and vulgar displays, no different from flipping the bird or “the shocker.” That’s what U.S. troops are now learning before they’re sent to Iraq, the Marine Corps Times reveals this week. Dirty details are after the jump. Read more on Giving Iraqis the Middle Finger…