Tag: reagan

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U.S., Russia Engage In Cold War Cosplay, Tears For Fears Reunion Next

Unlike many fanbois of a certain age, we are not opposed to Hollywood show biz remaking stuff we liked from back when we had a narrow waist and somewhat more/better hair. Lady Ghostbusters, sure! An actual transsexual Dr. Frank-N-Furter, why not? But certain...

Congress Sucks Harder Than Your Mom: The Debt Ceiling, Wonksplained

It’s that time of year again, kids! The leaves are turning, students are back in school, and Congress is threatening to drive our national car right over the fiscal cliff. Buckle up, because Republicans are already costing us millions...
Kinda!

Killer Mike Doesn’t Hit His Wife, And Other Reasons Hip-Hop Is More Moral Than Bill O’Reilly

It's a common trope, if you are a right-wing bigot: Racism doesn't hurt black people, hippity-hop rap music hurts black people, what with its jiving and twerking and PULL THOSE PANTS UP, and BACK IN MY DAY! In recent...

Republican Candidates Agree: The Best Living President Is Ronald Reagan’s Rotting Corpse

It would seem that getting stumped by really simple questions isn't a problem limited to Jeb Bush being A Idiot. ALL the 2016 Republican candidates are doing it! CNN's Chris Moody traveled to the South Carolina Freedom Summit, where all...
Good evening, Des Moines!

Scott Walker Addresses People Of Iowa? New Hampshire? Wait. Wisconsin? Yeah, Wisconsin

It’s a new year, which means government executives all over the country are in the midst of self-congratulatory presentations of cherry-picked accomplishments and passive-aggressively reading lists of future demands. It’s mostly trite and zzzzzzzz but some of them are...
Warrior president.

Louisiana Federal Judge Screws Gays, Lesbians (And Not In The Good Way)

RICK SANTORUM WINS! After years of spewing vitriol from his frothy mouthhole, his lies about how all the gays are just incesting, dog-humping miscreants has finally managed to convince someone! Unfortunately, that someone is a GODDAM FEDERAL JUDGE from...

Peggy Noonan Rattles Her Ice Cubes, Remembers The Grand Old Days Of Iran-Contra

Ah, New York! She had missed it so, had Sister Peggy Noonan of Our Lady of the Joyless Orgasm. The trip to Rome had been just the tonic she needed, a break from the grind of noise and chaos...

Muscle Reagan Will Watch Over Staten Island

Sun's out guns out, Staten Island! Behold Saint Ronald of the Rippling Biceps, Vanquisher of Russia and Crusher of Pull-Up Sets, conveniently located next to A Vape Lounge, where all the cool kids are vaping right now and...

Let Reagan’s Budget Director Explain At You About Gold And The Fed And Other Cool Ron Paul Stuff

Isn't that nice, Reagan's former budget director David A. Stockman has taken to the New York Times to scold at us about debt and government spending and the fact that the "recovery" is a "bubble." The good news is...

Obama Outrageously Politicizes 4th Of July Naturalization Ceremony By Mentioning Immigration

One of the nicer Independence Day traditions in this country is the swearing-in of new citizens by the President of the USA. Jaded though we may be in this modern age of instant worldwide communications, 24-hour news cycles, and...

Former Television Personality Glenn Beck Cuts Last Ties With Sanity, Now Making Believe He Is President

Has former television personality Glenn Beck finally suffered a psychotic break? PROBABLY! He has now built a replica of the Oval Office and will be giving "addresses" from it every week because that is not at all a lunatic...

Slot Machine Addict & Republican Crook Notes U.S. Men Are Failures

Bloated GOP gambling addict William Bennett makes his millions in many ways, such as his storied tenure on the board of some sketchy "online charter school" that siphons taxpayer money from real public schools. (It was started by...

Newt Gingrich Plan For Success: Win The Black Vote Back From Obama

Street-wise Newt Gingrich is the most hip, in-touch guy who ever came up with an idea for winning. Really! Take this latest one: the Obama guy is screwing up so hard employing African-American voters that they are about to...

A New Hope: Ayn Rand in the 21st Century

Unlike Robert Byrd, Ayn Rand will never die. If you've missed any of our previous episodes, you can catch parts one and two and three before subjecting yourself to this, Part IV. Next Comic

George H.W. Bush Trash-Talked Reagan To The Soviets Like Constantly

George H.W. Bush—an equal parts obscure and hated American president whose only historical significance is being half responsible for George W. Bush—didn't care for Ronald Reagan! Mikhail Gorbachev told the Nation in a recent interview: "In 1987, after my...

It’s Like Ahmadinejad Doesn’t Even *Get* What The Spirit Of Rosh Hashanah Is All About

Happy New Year (or "Rosh Hashanah") to all Wonkette's Jewish friends! Traditionally one rings in the new year by dipping apples in honey and telling one's parents that of course, one is absolutely going to synagogue tonight. An alternative...