Tag Archives: ratzinger

  can't hardly wait

New Pope Stuffing Catholic Church Full Of Marxist Liberation-y Goodness

Welcome to Wonkette, where we are at the very tippy-top vanguard of tracking New Pope’s inevitable march to Vatican III, which is going to be SO UNIRONICALLY AWESOME, you guys, for real! Pope Francis I is just going to stone cold reinvent the Catholic church as a poor-loving gay-loving global juggernaut, and we will all be able to bathe in the sweet sweet tears of conservative Catholics. Yesterday, Francis threw down and invited one of the liberation theology bigwigs to the Vatican for tea and sceptre comparing or whatever and if this doesn’t strike you as a BFD, we will now explain at you why it is. Yay! Read more on New Pope Stuffing Catholic Church Full Of Marxist Liberation-y Goodness…
  history's greatest monster

Jennifer Rubin Valiantly Crusades Against Obama For The Pope’s Honor

Washington Post Opinion Columnist and intifada-themed torture porn aficionado Jennifer Rubin is not a big fan of the President. According to Rubin, our Muslin half-ling is simply an effete market-hating monster who splits his time between plotting to kill the Jews and live-¬†streaming the murder of Chris Stevens with his bro’s in the war room, for the lolz. But while the vast majority of Rubin’s fantasies about the President lean more on the side of “psychologically obsessive antipathy” than they do actual analysis, opinion editor Fred Hiatt nevertheless sees her as some sort of Conservative luminary despite her legendary record of outright hackery. Read more on Jennifer Rubin Valiantly Crusades Against Obama For The Pope’s Honor…
  romebilly grifters

Pope Pulls A Palin

Almost exactly 600 years after the last pope to resign resigned, Pope Benedict XVI is hanging up his Prada shoes and dancing off into … well, we don’t even know! Where do ex-popes go? Probably Boca. News organizations are predictably going nuts trying to figure out what the HELL? (You should see your Editrix’s “What the HELL?” face right now!) But at least one brave outlet is pushing back on the godless heathen marxist media, and that outlet is Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Internet Casket. Read more on Pope Pulls A Palin…
  someone please call 911

This Freaky-Deaky Priest For Pope

We do a lot of joshing with the Catholic Church, mostly because we do not particularly care for how Pope Nazi personally defrocked Jean-Bertrand Aristide, or the way he treats nuns (WE LOVE NUNS), or the protection racket the Church has got going on for its cavalcades of boy-diddling priests. (When your Editrix was a little girl, everyone knew Father Pat was molesting boys, and everyone felt very sorry for how broken he must have been; what we didn’t know was that the Church was busy moving its molesters to brand new parishes and victims.) As a Catholic ourself (and a Jew), we also believe it’s high time we allowed our (male or female) priests to marry — men or ladies, duh — because we think enforced celibacy makes you weird. Which brings us to this nice priest, and his 911 call asking for help getting out of his ballgag and handcuffs. Read more on This Freaky-Deaky Priest For Pope…
  he prefers dos equis

Fidel to Pope: So, What Does a Pope Do, Anyway? (VIDEO)

The Pope and Fidel Castro met in Havana for what was apparently a fun contest to see which octogenarian could be more passive-aggressive. Fidel was all, yeah mang, saw you on the teevee, then played dumb about why the Mass had changed since he was a child (presumably Castro is aware of the Church’s liberalizing under Vatican II) and followed it with “so what does a Pope, you know, do?” Fidel, proud (former) head of an island nation of (nominal) Catholics is vaguely aware of your quaint little “church.” Read more on Fidel to Pope: So, What Does a Pope Do, Anyway? (VIDEO)…
 

HEY DRUDGE THAT’S NOT FUNNY: “Death by suicide robot,” is that what you call that old “Hitler Youth” Pope looking at you, these days? NOT COOL MAN, not cool. Anyway, happy “Good Friday,” everybody. It’s the day Rome finally killed Jesus so He would never bother us again. [DRUDGE REPORT] Read more on …