This is interesting! Dick Morris, professional toe-sucker, says His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney should not sweat the poll numbers showing him down 10 or a thousand nationally, forever, because he has seen the real poll numbers, done by an outfit he trusts (Rasmussen, probably), and they show a trend for his Mittness! On […]

Huzzah, Wonktards! We have won over some significant percentage of our fellow citizens to the side of the hedonist left, where stoners get paid welfare checks to wank it over Thomas Pynchon books all day. A new Rassmussen survey shows that a mere 53 percent of Americans believe capitalism is better than socialism.

After 2004, two groups were blamed for making John Kerry’s loss extra sad for the liberals: those secret retards from off-the-grid caves that Karl Rove forced to vote at the last minute, and pollsters. All of the pollsters failed spectacularly on Election Day in 2004, especially with exit polls. Everyone knew that John Kerry was […]

AMEN  6:36 pm October 5, 2008

by Jim Newell

BEST POLL EVER: “Congress was front and center in the national news last week and the American people were far from impressed. If they could vote to keep or replace the entire Congress, 59% of voters would like to throw them all out and start over again. The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey found […]

Oh hey look it’s another tracking poll! The latest Rasmussen dealy shows that John McCain is tied with Barack Obama at 44%, but if you include “leaners,” the geezer beats the pants off the charismatic upstart with a whopping 47% to Obama’s crappy old 46%. JOHN MCCAIN IS PRESIDENT OF LEANERS!

Hillary Clinton will never give up and never stop fighting for you, which is why she’s trying to roll her 2008 presidential election fund into her 2012 Senate re-election fund! She’s sending out letters to supporters who maxed out their contributions, asking them if she can hang onto their money for 2012, and if they […]

AMERICA'S GOVERNMENT  1:03 pm July 8, 2008

by Jim Newell

DISRESPECT TOWARD OUR LEADERS: A new Rasmussen poll: “This month, just 9% say Congress is doing a good or excellent job.” Here’s a poll question Rasmussen should consider for the future: Can you name a single issue Congress is currently working on? [Rasmussen]

HILLARY CLINTON  2:48 pm May 5, 2008

by Jim Newell