An Oklahoma sheriff has quit his post after being charged with committing pretty much every sexual crime in the book against a number of female prisoners. For example, “rape by instrumentation.” If he’s convicted, he may serve up to 467 years in prison. Join us on a terrible sex tour of all the foul horrors former Custer County Sheriff Mike Burgess may have committed! MORE »

The Supreme Court today agreed to hear the case of Patrick Kennedy (no, not the pillhead Congressman), who is one of only 2 people in the U.S. on death row for not killing someone. He’s on death row for brutally raping his 8 year-old stepdaughter. His lawyers argue it’s cruel and unusual punishment, victims groups are arguing it could result in the murder of more victims and/or fewer reports of such crimes when they involve friends or family members. Everyone else is pretty much arguing he’s a horrible individual who the world is better off without. In 1977, the Supreme Court ruled that the death penalty was indeed cruel and unusual punishment for raping an adult (woman, most likely), but who knows what they’ll do now. Naturally, he’s black; equally obviously, he’s maintaining his innocence. [ABC News]

Mike Huckabee’s cocky ass appeared on MSNBC’s Morning Joe this morning to talk about his and Romney’s religion, as well as the recent HuffPo report on Huckabee’s role (active!) in releasing an Arkansas rapist from prison and then watching as he raped more people. On religion, he blabs for a little bit; On the accusations — as shown above– he calls HuffPo a lying sack of Internet crapola.

Huzzah! Thank you A1 of this morning’s Washington Post; we had no idea that there was a lesbian hunchback detective raping suspects.

The online headline now reads, “Detective’s Hunch Led Her to Suspect in Rape.” So she’s still a hunchback detective, but isn’t raping suspects anymore.

Detective’s Hunch Led Her to [something about rape] [WP]

Remember the assistant U.S. attorney from Florida caught trying to fuck a five-year-old girl? You know, the one who said he’d “done it plenty”? He just hanged himself in his jail cell. [Detroit Free Press]

We don’t really have any comment on the Federal Prosecutor guy charged with actually trying to fuck a five-year-old girl. Said the assistant U.S. attorney from Florida: “I’ve done it plenty.” [Above The Law]

Let’s meet today’s loathsome child-fucking politician. Yeah, he’s just some nobody legislative staffer for a state assemblyman, but Lamar B. Freeman’s crimes are so heinous that he deserves some front-page hatin’ — and ladies, this one’s a Democrat. But the story is so sick and convoluted that we’ll just let Wonkette Operative “Underclassed” do the explaining:

“The Reader’s Digest version is an ex-legislative aide for the former Assembly Speaker of New York just got sentenced to 13 years for repeatedly molesting a 6-year-old girl, and in the process infecting her with herpes. Also, he molested this girl’s mom years ago, driving her to drugs, and now fears for his cornhole in prison.

He’s a Democrat, for a change, but keep in mind that the Democrats in Buffalo are just as corrupt and shiftless as Republicans anywhere else.”

Ex-state legislative aide gets prison for molesting and infecting girl, 6 [Buffalo News] MORE »

We’ll just go with the standard AP-style newspaper headline for this one, because sometimes you want your headline to actually tell the basics of the story instead of making seven inside jokes or whatever. So, America, meet your next generation of Republican Stars. Michigan Federation of Young Republicans chairman Michael Flory, 32, was in Cleveland for a Young Republicans conference, at which he repeatedly raped a college student. MORE »

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Have you heard the big news? The lady who runs the State Department or whatever says the main guy has to quit because of the screwed-up failure of a war he’s supposedly commanding! MORE »

* Here’s a terrifying sketch of the man who raped a woman in broad daylight outside a Checkers at 14th Street and Maryland Avenue while another man restrained her 3-year-old daughter. [Frozen Tropics]
* Yesterday a man was stabbed to death in broad daylight at 51st Street and Banks Place, NE. [stop, blog and roll]
* Last night there was a big apartment fire at 6th and O Streets, NW. 40 people lost their homes. [Life in Mount Vernon Square]
* DMV moving from Gallery Place to SW. [Gallery Place Living]
* The DC Madam’s Shock and Ahhhhh … [City Desk]