Wonkette

We don’t really have any comment on the Federal Prosecutor guy charged with actually trying to fuck a five-year-old girl. Said the assistant U.S. attorney from Florida: “I’ve done it plenty.” [Above The Law]

Let’s meet today’s loathsome child-fucking politician. Yeah, he’s just some nobody legislative staffer for a state assemblyman, but Lamar B. Freeman’s crimes are so heinous that he deserves some front-page hatin’ — and ladies, this one’s a Democrat. But the story is so sick and convoluted that we’ll just let Wonkette Operative “Underclassed” do the explaining:

“The Reader’s Digest version is an ex-legislative aide for the former Assembly Speaker of New York just got sentenced to 13 years for repeatedly molesting a 6-year-old girl, and in the process infecting her with herpes. Also, he molested this girl’s mom years ago, driving her to drugs, and now fears for his cornhole in prison.

He’s a Democrat, for a change, but keep in mind that the Democrats in Buffalo are just as corrupt and shiftless as Republicans anywhere else.”

Ex-state legislative aide gets prison for molesting and infecting girl, 6 [Buffalo News] MORE »

We’ll just go with the standard AP-style newspaper headline for this one, because sometimes you want your headline to actually tell the basics of the story instead of making seven inside jokes or whatever. So, America, meet your next generation of Republican Stars. Michigan Federation of Young Republicans chairman Michael Flory, 32, was in Cleveland for a Young Republicans conference, at which he repeatedly raped a college student. MORE »

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Have you heard the big news? The lady who runs the State Department or whatever says the main guy has to quit because of the screwed-up failure of a war he’s supposedly commanding! MORE »

* Here’s a terrifying sketch of the man who raped a woman in broad daylight outside a Checkers at 14th Street and Maryland Avenue while another man restrained her 3-year-old daughter. [Frozen Tropics]
* Yesterday a man was stabbed to death in broad daylight at 51st Street and Banks Place, NE. [stop, blog and roll]
* Last night there was a big apartment fire at 6th and O Streets, NW. 40 people lost their homes. [Life in Mount Vernon Square]
* DMV moving from Gallery Place to SW. [Gallery Place Living]
* The DC Madam’s Shock and Ahhhhh … [City Desk]

* “According to Sitemeter, my post ‘Is Being Bald That Bad?’ is far and away the most popular post I’ve ever done.” [The Underachiever's Progress]
* “Imagine starting your Friday with an invigorating morning bike ride, enjoying free coffee and breakfast while listening to jazz.” [Commuter Page Blog]
* “Jim Graham could write a new law every thirty minutes and he still couldn’t compensate for the changes in education, the economy and families that encourage self-destruction. One need only look back to the beginnings of the contemporary war on drugs which doubled the number of murders in DC in the 1980s to realize the limits of law enforcement.” [Sam Smith's City Desk]
* 17th Street between NH & Mass Avenues could possibly become a pedestrian promenade and rape luge. [the DC Sidewalk blog]
* Cool Whip and cigarettes delivered until 4AM. [The DC Concierge]

It’s totally fine to torture and murder and rape everybody — if they’re Muslims! — but some conservative fanatics think it’s wrong to rape American boys. Firing those U.S. attorneys was way too boring to force Gonzo to resign, even if all those U.S. attorneys were prosecuting Republican politicians for the usual crimes of graft, bribery, corruption, hookers, doing 9/11, etc. But if you add some TEEN GAY SEX RAPE to the mix, this thing could go nuts! MORE »

* Free rape cave. [CL]
* Touch someone. Perform your “BREAKUP STORIES, EMBARRASSING LOVE LETTERS (THOSE RECEIVED and THOSE WRITTEN AND MERCIFULLY UNSENT) and OTHER ASSORTED TALES of ROMANTIC WOE.” [Metroblogging DC]
* Raven II coming soon. [Counter Intelligence]
* “If Metro behavior was a factor in determining whether most of you are fit parents, the answer would be a resounding NO.” [Texpundit]
* Photos from Sunday night’s Deerhoof show. [Pancake Mountain]

Secret agent & Wonkette intern Lauren sends this quickie from the Late Night Shots forum, because she loves you people: MORE »

Sadly, this happened in Israel. MORE »