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Tag: rape-rape

Richard Cohen Thinks Miley Cyrus Raped That Poor Girl In Steubenville

Too much Nice Time got you down? Well don't worry kids, here is the Washington Post's Richard Cohen to sexplain all you ever wanted to know about how Miley Cyrus raped that poor girl in Steubenville. Hmmm. Rape. Pop...

PSA: No, Men, You Cannot Rape A Child Even If She Is Hot And Slutty And Only Says No Twice

Boy, it sure is hard to know when you can rape (or, as they say at Yale, have "nonconsensual sex" with) a kid, isn't it? We know the Catholic Church has a hell of a time figuring it out....

How Is Glenn Beck Saying America Got Raped Today? A Wonkette Contest!

We were pretty excited when Miss Kaili Joy came into the sekrit Wonket chatcave with this totally popular Salon tweet that had been liked by one egg. Kaili Joy G: should we place bets on what he's talking about?...

Elizabeth Smart Politely And In Nice Mormon Girl Way Tells Abstinence Crowd To Bite Her

Hey, you know what's really stupid? Telling kids they can prevent pregnancy and disease by just not having sexytime until they spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding with dried-out chicken and tacky pink bridesmaid dresses because...

Spring Break With Chuck Norris Sounds About As Lame As You Would Expect

Ever wonder what former action star and depressing self-parody Chuck Norris does on his time off (besides facelifts and hormone injections to keep the dreaded steroid induced "bitch tits" away)? Well as it turns out the meme-tastic actor is...

Phyllis Schlafly On Women In Combat: Men Who Rape Them Will Be Accused Of Rape!

Original Mens Rights Activist Phyllis Schlafly, that grand old thing, has some thoughts on women in combat. She is against it. She is against it for all your standard Phyllis Schlafly reasons, but adds in one extra, just to...

What Is Al Franken Famous For Today? (Hint: It Is ‘Rape Jokes’)

This Al Franken guy, you ever heard of him? Senator from Minnesota. Wrote some books, we think. Used to be on Saturday Night Live for a while, we guess. Not sure, is there anything else he is famous for,...

Mitt Romney To Nutter Rapey Doctor Last Year: ‘We Agree On Almost Everything’

You may have heard over the past few days of Dr. Jack Willke (because you read Wonkette with slavish devotion), the crazy man who spreads the lie that you can't get pregnant if you're goodly and righteously raped. You...

Phyllis Schlafly And Bryan Fischer Pretty Much Think Todd Akin Is Jesus

Perfidious cockbucket Todd Akin received enthusiastic support Tuesday from noted insane persons Phyllis Schlafly and Bryan Fischer. Remarkably, this is not expected to hurt his chances for election to the US Senate. Reaching previously unplumbed depths of either cluelessness or...

Todd Akin Explains ‘Legitimate Rape’ To Mike Huckabee With Wheelchairs And 9/11

Yesterday, Rep. Todd Akin, who is the GOP nominee for the US Senate in Missouri, made a comment declaring that women who experienced "legitimate rape" could not get pregnant. Today, Man-Who-Used-To-Be-Skinny Mike Huckabee had Akin on his show to handhold...

Missouri Senate Candidate Todd Akin’s Guide to Legitimate vs. Illegitimate Rape

Missouri Congressman and GOP Senate candidate Todd Akin is a brilliant scientist (with a B.S. in something called “Management Engineering”) and is therefore highly qualified to speak on the intricacies of female anatomy, especially when it comes to the...

Science: Gay Hooligan Penguins Rape Dead Lady Penguins

We are sorry, but we now must apologize for every time we laughed at One Million Moms and the American Family Association and every mean old preacher and 14-year-old shock jock who has ever called for queers to get...

Misunderstood Gentleman James O’Keefe Sues Former ‘Accomplice’ for Raping His Computer

Former James O'Keefe "accomplice" Nadia Naffe -- no, not that former accomplice, a different one -- has now come out with Part Two of her Erotic Suspense Thriller "The Night in the Barn," and James O'Keefe, as any defamed...