Rape

Great news, everyone! Brad Pitt wants to make a movie about the awful terrible no good very bad ordeal frequently referred to as the Steubenville rape. (Can it please be starring Brad Pitt? Please? We hope so because mmmmmmm, Brad Pitt.) This seems like a really great idea, because there are not a lot of […]

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we bring you stories that didn’t quite merit a post of their own, but that were too stupid to ignore altogether. As always, you may want to fortify yourself with whatever you believe necessary to get through the experience — we suggest a couple […]

At the risk of sounding like some hysterical radical Marxist unshaven feminazi who’s about to burn her bras and eat all the men with a nice chianti, fuck this guy and all his special Army stars. The legal defense team for a general whose sex-crime trial has gripped the U.S. military said Sunday that the […]

So we want to applaud folks like Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) who are fighting the good fight to stop all the sexual assaulting in our military. What’s the big deal, though? Can chicks just not handle a little afternoon raping? Don’t they know that boys will be boys, and that boobs wouldn’t be groped if […]

We have quite a range of incoherent shouting for you in today’s visit to the ol’ comment queue, so let’s jump right in and unleash the ugly vile little snark mob, shall we? Let us begin with “bmmg39,” who had a bone to pick with all of us for our stupid-headed failure to recognize that […]

There’s this useful phrase, “Not even wrong,” used to indicate an argument that so completely and sloppily misses the point being discussed that it can’t even be assessed as an argument — for instance, a creationist who asks if evolution is real, why don’t we see dogs giving birth to leopards, huh? Not only is […]

Wellesley womyn, we applaud you. You saw an injustice, and you demanded change. Oh, wait, no. You saw a piece of art, “The Sleepwalker” by Tony Matelli, and said it was offensive and scared you and triggered you and made you feel “unsafe,” and demanded it be removed because BAD ART! BAD! “[T]his highly lifelike […]

In a rare instance of a teabagger recognizing reality, Idaho state Rep. Mark Patterson announced Wednesday that he will resign from the state legislature by the end of the week. Patterson, you’ll recall (no need, now, haw haw!) was the guy who covered up a 1974 guilty plea in a rape case, an inconvenient detail […]

Happy Saturday, Wonquistadores! Every week, our web browsers overflow with a fetid slop of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth full posts of their own. Then we mop up the mess and wring out the smelly excess into a big old bucket we call the Derp Roundup. Add grain […]

Congratulations, Michigan Right To Lifers! You pushed through a very important law that will encourage women to keep their babies by banning insurance companies from covering abortion, unless policyholders purchase a separate rider. Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder had already vetoed a previous version of the bill, but it was reintroduced through a citizens’ petition, which […]

Remember that guy Mark Patterson, the freshman Idaho state representative who “forgot” that he had a 1974 rape conviction when he applied for a concealed weapon permit? And then when the county sheriff revoked his permit because of that little felony, Patterson accused the sheriff of being an anti-Second Amendment meanie fascist who was vendettaing […]

Hey ladies. 2014 is around the corner, and that means that more GOP candidates will be mansplaining to you about how you shouldn’t be raped illegitimately and that military boys will be rapey boys so shut your mouth and make a goddam sammich. But this time around, the GOP wants to win over the Ovary-American […]

Tea Party Nation president Judson Philips, the genius who had a cunning plan to use the Constitution to subvert the 2012 election (except it was unconstitutional), has tired of comparing Obamacare to Nazi Germany, so instead, he’s now comparing it to rape. Next week, maybe Obamacare will be the Ebola virus. Philips emailed the group’s […]

There is some big news out of Steubenville, Ohio, today. In case you don’t remember how Steubenville got itself on the map o’ scandals, here is a refresher: Back in 2012, a slutty drunk slut (i.e., a teenage girl) went and got herself raped by two real nice football stars who were basically just boys […]

Holy oh my god we can’t even Jesus Christ what the ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH! A Republican lawmaker in Idaho had his permit to carry a concealed gun revoked because he lied about a rape case from his youth on the application. [...] Now the first-term state rep, Mark Patterson, says that the county sheriff is staging a […]