Tag Archives: Rape

  Throwing up all over ourselves now

Bill Cosby Knows Media Only Calls Him A Rapist Because He’s Black, Also A Rapist

Our thoughts exactly
He’s tired of racists telling him to pull his pants up It has come to this. After 50 women — that’s right, five-ohhhhh — have accused Bill Cosby of sexual assault and rape, Team Cosby has decided it is time for a whole new approach to defending The Cos in the court of public opinion: Read more on Bill Cosby Knows Media Only Calls Him A Rapist Because He’s Black, Also A Rapist…
  let's gossip about the week's top stories

Just Biding Our Time Until We Find Josh Duggar’s Grindr At This Point. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Coming soon to a town near you, but Sarah Palin won't be there. OR WILL SHE?
Coming soon to a town near you, but Sarah Palin won’t be there. OR WILL SHE? Hey Wonkers! We had a big week! Did YOU have a big week in your job? Just kidding, this post is not about you. Did you hear the big news about how Editrix Becca invested in a Winnebago for the Wonkette, so we can do onsite “journalism” at the Iowa caucuses and the Republican convention and wherever else news is happening? Or wherever else we decide to do drinky things. We are going to do ALL the activities, and you should be very excited. Read more on Just Biding Our Time Until We Find Josh Duggar’s Grindr At This Point. Your Weekly Top Ten….
  Rumor has it

God Has New Plan For Duggars To Get Rich On TV

Don't you just want to confess things to them?
Don’t you just want to confess things to them? Hey, nasty Duggar family, what’s going on this week? Has the Lord put a word on your hearts about how the new way He’s going to use your son’s little molestation problem to spread His message throughout the kingdom, on cable television? Like, maybe after your upcoming TLC special about sexual abuse, perhaps there’s an idea you’ve been having about a spin-off, so your family can keep grifting like common Palins? We’d expect nothing less and WHOA, IF TRUE! Read more on God Has New Plan For Duggars To Get Rich On TV…
  People different from us

Alleged Prep School Rapist Only Did It Because There Was A School Sex Contest, Probably

What you're SUPPOSED to do in boarding school.
What you’re SUPPOSED to do in boarding school. Oh, to be back at boarding school! Mumsy and Popsy would seldom visit, and even then, only to meet with the headmaster about which one of our family names would christen the new Humanities building. And what fun we all had! Pulling pranks down by the old river bend, Spirit Week contests where we’d all dress up like cheerleaders, and best of all, the Senior Fucking Contest, where all the senior boys would engage in a mighty endurance competition to see who could do the most fucking to the underclassmen. Oh how St. Paul’s School in New Hampshire did prepare us for storied careers in finance, industry, government and WAIT A MINUTE, did we just type “Senior Fucking Contest”? Read more on Alleged Prep School Rapist Only Did It Because There Was A School Sex Contest, Probably…
  Must be Monday

Mike Huckabee Says Awful Dumb Thing Because He’s Mike Huckabee

The sneering sack of fetid rectal discharge that is Mike Huckabee said some stupid this weekend. It wasn’t about Israel this time or about how as president, he will declare martial law to seize control of every poonany in America, for “life.” No, this weekend, on CNN, Huck went retro, reaching back to one of his all-time classics: “Screw you, rape victims.” Read more on Mike Huckabee Says Awful Dumb Thing Because He’s Mike Huckabee…
  Ivana Was Thinking Of Some Mexican Probably

Donald Trump Never Raped His Wife And Even If He Did It Was Classy

Not available at any Trump retail locations
Not that it’s likely to cause even the least hiccup in his campaign prospects, but here’s a whole new Donald Trump mess that’s actually old: the Daily Beast reminds us that during his very classy and completely amicable divorce from Ivana, the former Mrs. Trump accused Donald of raping her. This is not entirely unknown, as the incident is discussed in a 1993 book, Lost Tycoon: The Many Lives of Donald J. Trump, by Harry Hurt III, which is really not a porn name at all. The details of the accusation, from a deposition in the divorce case, are sordid and gross, and not only because they involve Donald Trump. Also, the Daily Beast piece informs us that one of Trump’s attorneys, Michael Cohen, is one huge asshole; his epic hissy-fit at Daily Beast reporters Tim Mak and Brandy Zadrozny is a story in itself. Will any of it hurt the Trump campaign? Why would it? Trump supporters love him because he’s a sociopath, and for all we know, a little rape story could actually boost his popularity since the mean liberal media is beating up on him. Read more on Donald Trump Never Raped His Wife And Even If He Did It Was Classy…
  Uh ...?

Bill Cosby Got Quaaludes For His Sore Vagina, To Sex Ladies In Their ‘Rejection’ Holes

Our thoughts exactly
We already know that Bill Cosby put the rape drugs in the women, to do sex to them, because he told us. Here is a new gross factoid, though: He got those prescriptions for Quaaludes from a gynecologist. For those of you who are not a scientist, that’s a ladyparts doctor. For ladyparts. WEIRD. Read more on Bill Cosby Got Quaaludes For His Sore Vagina, To Sex Ladies In Their ‘Rejection’ Holes…
  Who's the real rapist here?

Bill Cosby: Stop Smearing Me By Quoting All My Rape Words In The Newspaper!

With the jello and the pudding and the Quaaludes mashed up in the jello and the pudding.
Ever since news broke early this month that Bill Cosby may have did drug women for the purposes of having sex with them, according to his own testimony, America has been reeling from shock over the idea that when a few dozen women accuse somebody of rape, that somebody is probably a rapist. Shocking, we know. Last week, the full deposition was released, which revealed a man who admitted to using rape drugs, his fame and money, and also some more rape drugs, for the purposes of “seducing” women who were rape-drugged at the time and, according to Cosby, might not have been in a position to give consent, which is rape. Read more on Bill Cosby: Stop Smearing Me By Quoting All My Rape Words In The Newspaper!…
  The beat made him do it?

Bill Cosby Doesn’t Cause Rape, That Jive-Bottomed Rap Music Causes Rape

It's that rhythm, man.
Ooh, it’s time for a fun flashback! So, you know how one of the big things about Bill Cosby is that he’s always been a moral scold, criticizing poor black people by calling them “no-grows,” and saying black kids wouldn’t get killed if they weren’t always pilfering pound cake, and how they don’t speak English good, and their mamas don’t talk good, and all that? And you know how it’s now common knowledge that that asshole has admitted to drugging girls with Quaaludes for rape-sex-type purposes? Read more on Bill Cosby Doesn’t Cause Rape, That Jive-Bottomed Rap Music Causes Rape…
  So caring such rapist

Bill Cosby: Always Room For Moral Scolding (While Paying The Women Their Rape Moneys)

Everybody's childhood is ruined.
America learned Monday night that, shocker of all shockers, when you’re starting to lose count of how many women have accused Bill Cosby of drugging and raping them, there’s PROBABLY a grain of truth in the story, or at least enough truth to fill a date-rape pill capsule. Looking at the unsealed case which reveals that yes, Cosby did get the rape pills so he could put them in the women, we find other goodies too! Like for instance, Cosby admits that he offered alleged victim Andrea Constand moneys, so she could go to college and learn how to read good and do other stuff good too: Read more on Bill Cosby: Always Room For Moral Scolding (While Paying The Women Their Rape Moneys)…
  Shithead Agonistes

Chuck C. Johnson Has Thoughts On The Charleston Shootings. They Are Strange And Racist Thoughts.

An homage to B. Kliban's
Since Award-Winning Journalist Chuck C. Johnson got bounced off Twitter a while back, seemingly for good, the man seems to be completely losing it. This of course raises the perfectly reasonable question, “How could you tell?” As Exhibit A, let us present his 4000-plus word rant about the Charleston shootings and why Dylann Roof really shot nine black people dead. Even for Chuck C. Johnson, the new Stupidest Man on the Internet, it’s a specimen of breathtaking stupidity (and also racism). Read more on Chuck C. Johnson Has Thoughts On The Charleston Shootings. They Are Strange And Racist Thoughts….
  Yoogest Classiest Broad Brush Out There

Donald Trump Dimly Aware That Messicans Don’t Like Being Called Rapists And Murderers

Most accurate Trump image yet
Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Donald Trump Isn’t backing off from his insistence that the borders are completely open and that most of those crossing are criminals, thugs, and thuggish criminals, but he is at least becoming vaguely aware that this stance may not be universally loved. On Fox & Friends Saturday, Trump took the opportunity to explain that his immigration views were vindicated because a man who’d been deported five times was charged with murder in San Francisco last week, which simply proves that illegal immigrants are bad news. Read more on Donald Trump Dimly Aware That Messicans Don’t Like Being Called Rapists And Murderers…
  Not So Hard Out There For A Pimp

Former IMF Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn May Be Gross Rapey Perv, But He’s No Pimp

On his way to shut down ACORN
Big congratulations go out today to Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the former head of the International Monetary Fund and alleged hotel-maid raper, who was found not guilty Friday on a charge of “aggravated pimping.” Strauss-Kahn had been charged back in 2012 with getting his freak on with actual sex piles of prostitutes at sybaritic rich-people sex parties at a number of hotels in Lille, France, because he is a plutocrat and that’s how he rolls. But now he is officially innocent, and is only a gross sex perv, not a criminal gross sex perv. Man leads a charmed life! Read more on Former IMF Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn May Be Gross Rapey Perv, But He’s No Pimp…
  But what about the Bible story about the prodigal son?

Jim Bob Duggar: Incesters Like My Oldest Boy Should Be Put To Death

Dad's gonna KILL me when he finds out what I did LOL
HERE IS A JUICY THING. Way back in 2002, when Jim Bob Duggar was running in the Republican primary for the U.S. Senate (and losing), the part of his campaign website labeled “abortion” said that no, ladies should not be allowed to abort their rape babies, but the rapist should be killed. Oh, and also that the “heinous crime” of incest should be a capital crime as well. Look what Defamer duggared up: Read more on Jim Bob Duggar: Incesters Like My Oldest Boy Should Be Put To Death…
  everybody in this story is the villain

Guess Who’s Mixed Up In Duggar Family Sex Crimes Now? Hobby Lobby, Of Course!

Don't you just want to confess things to them?
According to the official police report, after Josh Duggar’s parents found out he was molesting his sisters, and they spent a year doing NOTHING about it, Jim Bob Duggar sent his son for counseling with a “family friend” who was renovating a building in Little Rock, Arkansas. It turns out the program Josh went to was the Basic Life Principles Training Center, led by none other than Duggar family BFF Bill Gothard, the creepy man who, as your Wonkette reported Sunday, “coincidentally has been accused of sexual abuse and harassment by more than 30 teenage girls.” Gothard’s Advanced Training Institute (ATI), the homeschooling cult the Duggars love so much, teaches, among other things, that little girls who get sexually abused probably share some of the blame, for being gross and naked sometimes. Read more on Guess Who’s Mixed Up In Duggar Family Sex Crimes Now? Hobby Lobby, Of Course!…