Tag Archives: Rape

  When You're In A Hole Stop Dugging

Hey, Remember All The Times Those Duggars Warned Us How Evil Gays Threaten Children?

Dirty sex crimer or just a asshole?
Now that gross admitted child molester Josh Duggar has been outed as a gross hypocrite who molested his own sisters, we thought it might be useful to bring you a quick recap of some of the Duggar family’s noteworthy warnings about the Evils Of Homosexuality, which is a threat to YOUR FAMILY. Read more on Hey, Remember All The Times Those Duggars Warned Us How Evil Gays Threaten Children?…
  GOP outreach strikes again!

House GOP Figures It’s Safe To Ban Abortion Now That Everyone’s Stopped Paying Attention

You're cool with this now, right?
As further evidence that the GOP really “gets” chicks, House Republicans murdered the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act to ban abortions after 20 weeks back in January, which they’d hoped to pass on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, to be dicks. But five months is enough time to get over that, right? So they’re planning to bring it up for a vote again next week: Read more on House GOP Figures It’s Safe To Ban Abortion Now That Everyone’s Stopped Paying Attention…
  Try Not To Be Too Shocked OK?

Surprise, Military Even More Rapey Than We Thought

Imagine that.
As we’ve mentioned once or twenty times, the Pentagon has a bit of a problem with rape. Just how bad a problem with rape? Hard to say — a 2013 Defense Department report estimated that about 26,000 members of the military were raped in 2012. Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand has been trying to find out more about how the Pentagon deals with sexual assaults, so last year she asked the DoD for files on sexual assault at each of the four major services’ largest bases from 2009 to 2013. After dragging its feet forever, the Pentagon finally gave her 107 case files — from one year only, 2013. And even that limited information turned up a far greater problem with sexual assault in the military than the Pentagon has been willing to acknowledge, according to Gillibrand’s report on the files, released late last week. Read more on Surprise, Military Even More Rapey Than We Thought…
  And you thought Bud Light couldn't be more disgusting.

People Seem To Think Bud Light Slogan Is Rapey, Just Because It’s Really Rapey

Oh, we get it, it's about date rape-type stuff!
Earth’s most generic light beer, Bud Light, has been doing an ad campaign that they think is oh so hip, lately, to try to get beer-pong playing, dildo-brained college kids to upgrade from Natty Light and drink THEIR piss beer instead. It’s called #UpForWhatever, and there was a big PacMan super bowl commercial, because Bud Light is the beer that, according to advertising execs, makes you “up for whatever.” The labels have said things like “the perfect beer for going without a ticket and still getting into the show,” and “the perfect beer for tuning up the old air guitar,” because these guys are fucking HIP, dude. Oh, and there’s this new label, that’s totally about drinking so much that bitches won’t say no when you try to fuck them, and people don’t like it, huh. Read more on People Seem To Think Bud Light Slogan Is Rapey, Just Because It’s Really Rapey…
  When you lie upon a star...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: It Sure Is Tough To Know Whether Or Not You’ve Had Brain Cancer

Extree! Extree! Step right up for your weekly dose of flim-flam and phooey, your beloved Snake Oil Bulletin! For today’s edition, we have a few follow-ups to previous stories we’ve covered. So pull up a seat, pour yourself a heaping cup of coffee for your enema, and let’s dive right into today’s selection with the return of Belle Gibson. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: It Sure Is Tough To Know Whether Or Not You’ve Had Brain Cancer…
  What will the medal say?

Montana Lawyers Honor Judge Who Said Slutty Teen Rape Victim Was Asking For It, Just Because

Bestest judge EVER!
You would think, after the Montana Supreme Court censured and suspended District Judge G. Todd Baugh for issuing one of the most despicable orders to a convicted rapist ever, that would be the last we’d hear about Judge Baugh. But nope, the Yellowstone Area Bar Association has decided he deserves a lifetime achievement award after 30 years on the bench — from which he had to resign in disgrace by retiring that year. In case you’ve succeeded in bleaching that horror show from your brain, let us remind you. Read more on Montana Lawyers Honor Judge Who Said Slutty Teen Rape Victim Was Asking For It, Just Because…
  They're probably just saying they were raped to make a political statement

Tennessee Lady Rep Not Buying Your ‘Rape And Incest’ Story, Harlot

Sheila Butt, Republican state representative of Tennessee, is very misunderstood. In February, she was very upset because she just didn’t understand why people would think that her call for a National Association For The Advancement of White People could be misconstrued as RACIST. Now she will likely be very misunderstood again, simply for saying that we shouldn’t have rape and incest exceptions in abortion laws, because bitches be lying. Read more on Tennessee Lady Rep Not Buying Your ‘Rape And Incest’ Story, Harlot…
  also something something about transgender people using the bathroom

Serial Rapist Says Gays Are THE WORST

On May 12, voters in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, will vote on whether to repeal Ordinance 2223, an anti-discrimination measure protecting LGBT people. And of course, there is a group of pastors and assorted wingnuts who want to make sure their little oasis is protected from the scourge of gays, throat-cramming everybody with their “lifestyles” and their “marriages,” and from the transgender people, who insist on going to the bathroom, so they can do sexually predatory things to innocent women and girls. Read more on Serial Rapist Says Gays Are THE WORST…
  That's Not Enlightenment!

Oh Yay Buddhist Yoga Dudes Can Be Rapey Mens Rights Activists Too!

If you meet the Buddha in the road, bro-fist him
Remember the Great Republican Rape Mansplaining Movement of 2012? Despite famously losing several Senate seats as a result, right-wing politicians continue to attempt to win the hearts and minds of American women by carefully explaining to us what sexual assault is, whether it was “forcible,” or “legitimate” or “bad,” whether or not God was into it, et cetera, et cetera. Read more on Oh Yay Buddhist Yoga Dudes Can Be Rapey Mens Rights Activists Too!…
  Somebody Finally Thought Of The Children

Arkansas Governor Signs Bill Ensuring Slimy Rep. Justin Harris Will Never Regift Another Child

He has that D'oh in the headlights look
Thank the good lord above, the great state of Arkansas has finally outlawed the practice of “rehoming” adopted children — that is, just handing off your adopted kids to someone else to raise and hoping for the best, a practice that didn’t turn out so well for state Rep. Justin Harris when one of the two girls he rehomed with a family friend was raped in 2014. Gov. Asa Hutchinson signed the bill into law Monday, making Arkansas one of only three states to ban rehoming — the other two are Louisiana and Wisconsin; Florida and Illinois are also considering legislation to restrict or outlaw rehoming. Read more on Arkansas Governor Signs Bill Ensuring Slimy Rep. Justin Harris Will Never Regift Another Child…
  journamalism

Rolling Stone Sorry That Lying Bitch ‘Jackie’ Made Them Do Such Terrible Journalism

Nothing to see here, move along
Last year, Rolling Stone reported a shocking story about the epidemic of rape on college campuses, and specifically at the University of Virginia — one of 86 schools under federal investigation for its mishandling of rapes and sexual assaults on campus. The story focused on the alleged gang rape of a woman named Jackie at the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity. Naturally, because the story was freaking horrific, “legitimate” rape is very rare, and most so-called rape victims are lying, the media immediately called bullcrap on the report and devoted several weeks and a million column inches to proving the story was false, because if Jackie was lying, that means all allegations of rape are probably false too. Read more on Rolling Stone Sorry That Lying Bitch ‘Jackie’ Made Them Do Such Terrible Journalism…
  There's No Place Like Rehome

Justin Harris Diddles Kids’ Welfare Committee, Must ‘Rehome’ It To Better Vice-Chairman

He Stopped Making Sense long ago
Get out your hip boots and emesis basins, because it’s time for more news about horrifying human/pond scum hybrid Justin Harris, the Arkansas state representative who “rehomed” two adopted daughters with Eric Francis, a guy who raped one of them shortly before her sixth birthday. But despair not! Today’s Justin Harris news only involves him abusing power, not children, so it’s all good! Read more on Justin Harris Diddles Kids’ Welfare Committee, Must ‘Rehome’ It To Better Vice-Chairman…
  grab that cash with both hands and make a stash

Child-Regifting Job Creator Justin Harris Got $4 Million In Tax Funds For Jesus Pre-School

These big David Byrne suits dont' just grow on trees, you know.
Hey, we bet you’d like to read a story about sleazy child-regifting monster Justin Harris that isn’t about his sleazy child regifting for a change, wouldn’t you? Lord knows we have plenty of those already, and the whole sordid mess isn’t nearly finished playing itself out. Instead, let’s learn a bit more about Justin Harris, the small-government entrepreneur who says that government never created a single job — no, really, he said that — and who liked to brag in campaign ads about all the jobs he created at his “Growing God’s Kingdom” preschool in West Fork, Arkansas. Turns out he and his wife, Marsha, had a little help creating those jobs! Read more on Child-Regifting Job Creator Justin Harris Got $4 Million In Tax Funds For Jesus Pre-School…
  Parental Rites

Ark. Rep. Justin Harris Had Daughters’ Demons ‘Exorcised’ Before ‘Rehoming’ Them With A Rapist

The power of Derp compels him
The sad, ugly saga of Justin Harris and the “rehoming” of his two adopted daughters just morphed into a B-movie horror flick. According to several people who knew the Harrises, the super-Christian Arkansas state rep. and his wife, Marsha, believed the young girls were possessed by demons and hired “specialists” to drive Satan from the children’s tiny bodies. They also kept their six-year-old adoptive daughter locked and isolated in her toyless room with just a video camera to watch her so she couldn’t “communicate telepathically” with her four-year-old sister. Read more on Ark. Rep. Justin Harris Had Daughters’ Demons ‘Exorcised’ Before ‘Rehoming’ Them With A Rapist…
  Arkansas Unraveler

Girls’ Foster Parents Not Impressed With Kid-Dumping AR Rep Justin Harris’s Sob Story

A member of the truth-challenged community
The bizarre story of Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris and his decision to “rehome” his two adopted daughters with a family friend and employee, Eric Francis, who later raped one of the girls, continued to unfold in High Weird Mode over the weekend. Following his press conference Friday, Harris gave a 35-minute interview to Drew Petrimoulx of TV station KARK in which he continued to place most of the blame for the troubled adoption on the Arkansas Department of Human Services (DHS) and, continued to insist that the children were so seriously emotionally disturbed that they put his entire family in danger. Read more on Girls’ Foster Parents Not Impressed With Kid-Dumping AR Rep Justin Harris’s Sob Story…
  The Christian Lawmaker And The Devil Children

Kid-Dumper AR Rep Justin Harris So SO Sorry … That DHS Screwed Him And His Family (Video)

Marsha and Justin Harris
  After the older of his two adopted daughters — at the mature age of six — was raped by the man to whom he had “rehomed” her, Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris (R – “God’s Kingdom”) gave a press conference today to attempt to justify it. (He did not attempt to justify the rape, by family friend Eric Francis, to whom he had turned over his two adopted daughters in late 2013; he merely attempted to justify the rest of it.) Harris started by “clarifying” that “the victims here are the children,” since the country and the Internet did not take well to his sad claim yesterday that it was he and his wife who had “suffered a severe injustice.” While the girls were “the real victims,” he back-pedaled, he and his wife had been “failed” by the Department of Human Services, which is really to blame. Read more on Kid-Dumper AR Rep Justin Harris So SO Sorry … That DHS Screwed Him And His Family (Video)…
  Won't Someone Please Think Of The Neglectful Parents?

Justin Harris Had To Abandon 6-Year-Old Daughter Before She Ax-Murdered Whole Family

Ugly doesn't begin to describe these. The sweaters are pretty bad, too
Here’s your morning update on Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris, who naturally had excellent reasons for giving up on his two adopted daughters and “rehoming” them with another family in 2013. Harris issued a statement late Thursday to explain that he and his wife, Marsha, are the real victims here. Oh, yes, in addition to that unfortunate business with his 6-year-old daughter getting raped by Eric Francis, the man they “rehomed” the girls with. My, yes, that was sad. Read more on Justin Harris Had To Abandon 6-Year-Old Daughter Before She Ax-Murdered Whole Family…
  Nice Time-ish

Nice Prison Inmates Save Guard From Rapist, Can’t Join Mens Rights Movement Now We Guess

We do not usually expect to read feel-good stories about rape, in prison, but what the hell? Up is down, black is white, cats and dogs, yadda yadda. So The Daily News brings us this story of an almost-rape that wasn’t, thanks to some hero inmates who were like, “We might be hardened criminals, but that shit ain’t right!” Read more on Nice Prison Inmates Save Guard From Rapist, Can’t Join Mens Rights Movement Now We Guess…
  Ordinary Everyday Small-Government Advocate & Tax Leech

Let’s Meet Justin Harris, The Arkansas House’s Godly Child-Abandoner

These big David Byrne suits dont' just grow on trees, you know.
Yesterday we introduced you to the honorable Justin Harris, a proud Republican member of the Arkansas House of Representatives, who kinda-sorta hid from the public the fact that he’d adopted two little girls out of foster care, tired of them after a year in his home, and given them to another family to raise. The other family wasn’t so great, seeing as how the new adoptive father, Eric Francis, raped the older of the girls, all of six years old. Francis had also briefly taught at the Christian daycare owned by Harris and his wife, “Growing God’s Kingdom Preschool,” and when the news of the sexual assault broke last year, that was the only connection Harris admitted publicly; the Arkansas Times broke the full story this week. It’s a horrible story, and the more we find out about Rep. Harris, the more charming he seems. Read more on Let’s Meet Justin Harris, The Arkansas House’s Godly Child-Abandoner…
  at least the bastard was convicted this time

Homeless Rape Victim Gets To Walk Miles And Miles To Face Rapist In Court, Because America

So here is a story that kind of has an okay ending, except all the parts that will make you want to skip your afternoon munchies because everything is terrible. A homeless woman in Columbus, Ohio, was brutally raped last spring, and she decided to do something to make sure the bastard who did it didn’t get to walk away from his crimes unscathed. So she just made sure, hell or high water, that she’d be there in court to face him down, even if it meant she had to walk eight miles to the courthouse to attend his court hearings. Which is exactly what she did: Read more on Homeless Rape Victim Gets To Walk Miles And Miles To Face Rapist In Court, Because America…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Moves Lips About Abortion, Lies Ensue. Surprise!

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
Usually, Yr Wonket has some discretion regarding which Palin-flavored entrees we will shove down your throats each weekend on the Fartknocker Report. Unfortunately, this was one of those weeks when the Tundra Grifter couldn’t be bothered to do more than one take for a single two-minute-long video. So open wide, we guess, because here comes Sarah to misrepresent some facts about the House’s recent abortion bill. Read more on The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Moves Lips About Abortion, Lies Ensue. Surprise!…