Whoa hey it’s Meghan McCain goin’ nuts on Twitter! It seems that a “co-worker” of hers at Tina Brown’s Death Lion has been talking SHIT about her and how she’s never had a job before, something your Wonkette had never considered until now (PSST search “meghan mccain” “unemployed”). This led Meghan to a churn out a 9-twat-long rant listing every job she’s ever had, because UMM OMG she’s the most employed person ever, bitch? She then SCRUBBED this thing entirely — because it was insane — but someone had already e-mailed us the page, which was probably her plan in the first place. MORE »

Here’s one of the more unlikable people we’ve heard of for the first time today, CNBC’s Rick Santelli, at some trading floor in Chicago, going *apeshit* over Barack Obama’s $75 billion mortgage plan to keep “the losers” in their homes. Maybe Obama’s plan isn’t so great, who knows, but one thing is clear, and that’s that Rick Santelli hates poor people — and by poor people we mean the bottom 50-90% of per capita income earners. How else would you explain the fact that he and his trader friends are *just now* starting to worry about Moral Hazard? [Calculated Risk]

Here’s Massachusetts Congressman Michael Capuano yelling at today’s Capitol Hill hearing with eight big bank CEOs, who demanded that Congress give them a second set of keys to the U.S. Mint (just to make it more convenient during the all-nighter printings, right?) He asks if their companies invest in credit default swaps (”hell fuckin’ yeah”), and then adds, “So basically all or most of you engaged in all or at least some of the activities that actually created this crisis, in my opinion. Because every one of those activities, especially the SIVs [structured investment vehicles], ESPECIALLY the SIV’s — to me, I think they’re illegal. I cannot believe no one’s prosecuted you on this.” Rah rah rah! MORE »

At some point in recent Internet history, the Chicago Sun-Times gave its famous film critic Roger Ebert a film blog, to write about film. Well fuck film! Now he just writes hilarious geopolitical rants next to pictures of triangles and octagons, like all bloggers. MORE »

It’s been a while since we’ve checked in on the musings of Washington Post in-house coot Richard Cohen, who’s hated every single development in American culture since 1958. Earlier this year he spent a whole column ranting about the kids and their tattoos (”I simply do not care for tattoos”), another about Amazon’s Kindle (”I simply do not care for the Kindle”), and, of course, another about Barack Obama’s age (”I simply do not care for the age of Barack Obama”). Basically, all Richard Cohen wants in life is a few twigs to rub together and some of grandma’s licorice stick. All a man really needs. In today’s column he tackles a new devil, that con sarn BlackBerry telephone machine. He simply does not care for Obama’s BlackBerry telephone, especially when there are perfectly good print newspapers out there that perform the exact same functions, and women are also awful. MORE »

Remember how Bob Dole used to be a pleasant old former politician who spent his retirement hawking little blue pills on the teevee? Well now he is very upset with Scott McClellan and let him know via the emails, which were invented several hundred years after Bob Dole first attained elective office. Quotations from his angry E-Communication after the jump. MORE »

A Boston area cable news host thinks Bill O’Reilly is such a dangerous “mental case” that he should not be the guest of honor at the Boston/New England Emmys. This brave crusader even offers up evidence that O’Reilly’s crazy loofah rants are signs of an actual personality disorder or something. MORE »

We are four minutes through this video of MSNBC host Keith Olbermann’s special “Special Comment” about Hillary Clinton. It’s the first time he has made a “Special Comment” about a Democrat. It is a nine-minute video. He is the angriest person in the galaxy. SOS! [YouTube]

The past several years have taught us all a valuable lesson: the nuttiness of a Republican legislator’s homophobic rantings is directly proportional to the secret gay shame of that legislator, and inversely correlated to the amount of time before that person gets busted doing the thing they professed to find so repugnant. By this math, Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern will be discovered by week’s end trolling for muff in the ladies’ room of the World Golf Hall of Fame. MORE »

You know the Wired magazine, which is about robots and other techmologies? Yesterday its Threat Level blog, covering “privacy, security, politics and crime online,” attracted a squadron of angry Paultards after it wrote about their hero’s upcoming March on Washington. Loads of invective, paranoia, and “morrons” after the jump. MORE »

Those of you who have been following the War on Paultards in the comments have probably seen an… anomaly… crowding the pack. It’s an angry guy who types in bold and caps, curses vehemently and throws numbers around freely while chewing away at his naysayers — but argues against the Paultards! This sort of brilliance doesn’t go unnoticed by Wonkette. We would like to appoint commenter Nick Farr (his name is also probably “Nick Farr”) the official Wonkette Commenter General in the War on Paultards. He replaces the interim de facto Wonkette Commenter General, who was also Nick Farr.

To welcome Nick Farr we’ve asked him to write a ceaselessly long, unedited and vicious rant against the Paultards. After the jump, Commenter General Nick Farr’s ceaselessly long, unedited and vicious rant against the Paultards. MORE »

Pictured: The hell on Earth that is State Department housing in Berlin

The life of State Department Official posted overseas is not an easy one. Forced to live in Europe with free accommodations, living the degraded and stressful life of a diplomat with a fat government paycheck, who can blame them when they snap and send out mass emails to everyone in Berlin full of petty complaints?

From: [Redacted]
Sent: Friday, April 07, 2006 12:45
To: [Redacted], Berlin Hegewinkel Residents
Subject: RE: I heard you are removing trees from Hegewinkel today

As a residing tenant of Am Hagewinkel, I am a bit resentful of “A select few” speaking for the masses. I unfortunately, in this case, am also the Deputy [Redacted] here in Berlin. I get nothing special and have to be the last in line for anything received, to ensure there is “fair and equitable” distribution of any perks given.

Solely speaking as a resident, I resent ALL the problems you, your husband, Mr. [Redacted], and [Redacted] have caused some of the residents such as myself. Mr. [Redacted] made a point of speaking about the dog issue. I have sent my dog through a search and rescue school in Florida, which cost me a lot of money. She is trained on command and likes to run freely OFF leash. Having a fenced in compound was a great safety net for her to not encounter outside animals. She would do her “business” outside of the perimeter, then freely play on compound. This was a privilege that we (you, [Redacted], myself and several parents of furry, four legged animals residing there) were enjoying. I now have to walk her through the grunewald to avoid any appearance of my pet or myself, of being “special”. BUT, I do notice that your husband DOES NOT clean up after your two puppies. I have also notice that I have not seen [Redacted]’s dog walked ON LEASH. As a matter of fact, not long ago, while conducting a fire inspection at the Am Hagewinkel property, I noticed [Redacted]’s husband skateboarding freely during the day, and their dog was completely unattended off leash. Personally, I think this is great that their dog is also trained off leash. That they consider, as most of us who have chosen not to have children, their pet as a family member. It is wonderful to walk outside with your dog and watch it play freely in a safe environment without a leash. But through your and [Redacted]’s complaints, you have RUINED it for us all.

Full angry, craigslist-ready rant, after the jump. It eventually rises to a brilliant, beautiful fever pitch.

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