Tag: rand paul

Mmmm, do you smell that? That, my friends, is the fragrance of Republicans slow-roasting Cuban spice-rubbed Ted Cruz on a spit. Isn't it delicious? After Donald Trump...

America loves its guns, almost as much as it loves its Constitution, which consists wholly of the Second Amendment (and only the second clause...

It's a good thing Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-Wife of Bill Clinton's Penis) is running for president, or else we'd be forced to find creative...

There is so much sexism in America right now, and unfortunately it is all being done by Bill Clinton, and Hillary Clinton, and also...

Turns out the reason for the season is Hillary Clinton's vagina. Who knew? But all the Republican fellers can't stop yapping about Hillary's heyyy gurl...

Awww, you guys, this is nice. Despite all the shots fired last week, after it was revealed that some bad apples on the Bernie...

Welcome to your REAL Republican debate liveblog, the main course following the unappetizer course that several of you sat through because you have no...

That time has once again cummeth upon us, where we will sit down in front of our widescreen televisions, munch bits of ham frosting...

One would think the Very Serious Media has had enough time to recover from its shock that Donald Trump is a racist hate-mongering sack...

Everywhere you turn, Donald Trump is sucking up all the oxygen in the Muslim-bashing corner of the room, probably because he is just so...

Rand Paul. Remember that guy? Nah, probably not. He is a "doctor" and a "senator" and technically still a Republican presidential candidate, although honestly,...

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program of making jokes to ask this Very Serious Journalistic question: What the hell is this? One of those boys is the Trump...

People react to tragedy in so many different ways. Some rise to the occasion, bravely refusing to be cowed by circumstance, like the Parisians...

Now that the GOP kidlets have had their fun at the undercard debate for undercard losers who are never gonna be president, it's time...

Oh, do you have your DVRs set and your babysitters called and your sex lube procured for tonight's SUPER-EXCITING REPUBLICAN DEBATE? Yes, they're going...

Dr. Rand Paul has put a pin in his prissy plaints about his dressing room not being fancy-pants enough to dole out some real...

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