rand paul
Today Perhaps Not Greatest Day For Rand Paul’s Hilarious Gun-Waiting-Period ‘Joke’
Kentucky Senator Rand Paul has some ideas. And they are that if Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is going to be such a total Hitler as to suggest that a senator who wants to filibuster something has to actually filibuster that thing, then Rand Paul would like some Senate “rule changes” of his own! First [...]
Rand Paul: Stealing From the Government Just Like Being a Jewish Family During the Holocaust
Well hi Rand Paul, what crazy things are you going on and on about today, on the teevee, where everyone can see you? Oh, nothing, just all the ways in which the American government’s repossession of stolen property is just like when Nazis stole paintings from Jewish families, that’s all, no big deal. Let us [...]
Rand Paul Just Wants To Add a ‘Life Begins at Conception’ Plank To This Flood Insurance Bill, What’s the Problem?
The Senate is trying to pass a flood insurance bill, and all Rand Paul wants to do is improve the quality of flood insurance that Americans nationwide will enjoy in the years ahead. Specifically, he wants to add a lil’ Life at Conception Act, which would “ensure equal protection for right to life of each [...]
Rand Paul Insufferability Update: Rand Paul Is Insufferable About Food Stamps
As we noted the other day, unaccredited Kentucky doctor Rand Paul is using this farm bill debate as an opportunity to cement himself as the most annoying and disingenuous member of Congress via a slew of unrelated and/or dumb amendments that go nowhere and waste everyone’s time, but do allow Paul to release more self-righteous [...]
It’s Farm Bill Time, And All Amendments Are Perfectly Reasonable & Germane
It’s farm bill time in the Senate, with the draft bill out of committee, debate open, and hundreds of amendments pouring in, all lined up just in time beat the June 30 deadline! The way they used to resolve all of these competing amendments and regional interests and endless lobbyist demands in the end was [...]
Paultards Traumatized By Rand Paul’s Romney Endorsement
Well, tragedy has struck in Ron Paul’s kingdom. Rand Paul endorsed Mitt Romney Thursday night on Sean Hannity’s show, presumably because he has been promised some high-profile position in Mitt’s Barbie and Ken’s Dream House™ cabinet. While those pioneering philosophers over at the Washington Post seriously ponder “what” Rand Paul’s endorsement “means” (absolute f#*&-all), other, [...]
Rand Paul Turns Down Veep Slot to Marry True Love (Iran)
Well looks like someone has decided not to fight Marco Rubio to the death for the chance to be the losing vice presidential nominee of the 2012 presidential campaign, as Rand Paul ibn Ron has now totally taken everyone’s war ball and gone home. Rand Paul is not going to let you just unanimously consent [...]
Rand Paul Robot Caught By Brave TSA Body Scanner
Top honors will be given to a brave TSA Body Scanner machine at the Nashville airport for apprehending a sinister Dalek robot-monster that was impersonating Senator Rand Paul. The cylon version of Rand Paul triggered the radioactive Body Scanner because of some miniscule fabrication error in the android’s knee joints — the scanner apparently had [...]
Secret U.S. ‘Kill List’ Somehow Not In Rand Paul’s Paranoid Spam Forwards
Like everyone else in the nation, we have grown used to the stream of wingnut “gubmint gon’ steal ur gunz” Second Amendment action-alert emails always emanating en masse from the AOL accounts of America’s loony cousins and neighbors, OR, apparently now, from a U.S. Senator! Mother Jones spotted pantsless prick Rand Paul sticking his name on [...]
Rand Paul Takes Brave, Lonely Pro-Explosion Stance On Gas Pipelines
Hm, let’s see, what normal, boring, uncontroversial public safety measure can some branch of the Paul family tree make hilarious through his comical lone opposition to “people not being incinerated in fiery explosions all the time?” This time: the entire Senate, nay, the entire world, is trying to expedite the passage of an industry-supported bill to [...]
Confused Walnuts Starts ‘Lord of the Rings’ Debt Ceiling Fight Meme
Oh God, John McCain, he is getting more senile by the hour. Somebody handed Walnuts a copy of the Wall Street Journal, which, in the paper’s effort to fill all of its blank pages with words about anything besides disgraced overlord owner Rupert Murdoch, said let’s type words comparing Tea Party people to hobbits. Uh, [...]
Ron Paul’s Son Hates Liberty: Not Running For Senate
Instead of the gold standard, Dr. Robert Paul probably wants to let the U.S. go on the fetus standard, because he refuses to do anything about it. “I’m honored that people think I’m ready to run, but I think they want me to run because I’m related to Ron Paul,” said Paul, who has a [...]
Rand Paul Already Filing For Re-Election
Don’t try to schedule any dinner plans a half decade from now with Rand Paul. He’s already booked. U.S. Sen. Rand Paul has already filed to seek re-election to the U.S. Senate in 2016. The Kentucky Republican who has been talking about possibly running for president next year filed a statement of candidacy to run [...]
More Ron Paul Spawn May Be Running For Senate
Now a third Paul — Robert, a doctor who runs a family medical practice in Benbrook and lives in Fort Worth — is mulling a congressional bid of his own. After campaigning for his father, most notably giving speeches during the elder Paul’s 2008 presidential bid, Robert Paul is considering whether to jump into the [...]
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