Wonkette

We warned you that Ralph Nader has picked up John Edwards’ discarded angry-hobo-under-the-bridge act by launching a shitty website, but we forgot to tell you how to help his efforts to build a post-corporate email list. [Nader 2008 Presidential Exploratory Committee]

Every four years for the last millenium, Ralph Nader wakes up some morning surrounded by corporate tax returns and various other “records,” and decides that none of the candidates in either party represent any change or positive “good.” He supposes he does. Today, he has a web site up for his exploratory committee for a 2008 bid. And that is all there is to say about Ralph Nader. [Nader 2008 Presidential Exploratory Committee]

*IT HURTS BUT I LIKE IT:* “Consumer advocate Ralph Nader said on Monday he will decide soon on whether to make a another bid for the White House in 2008, eight years after playing a key role as a third party presidential candidate.” It would be funny if he died. [Reuters/Yahoo]

The Green Party is alive and we… well, they’re alive anyway and they held their own candidate debate yesterday in San Francisco, moderated by the needs-to-permanently-disappear-from-public-life Cindy Sheehan and either Matt Gonzalez or Aimee Allison (reports on the matter conflict, probably because of the contact high the reporters had). MORE »

Hi everybody, it’s your old friend Ken Layne. So I went on vacation a couple months ago, and then I saw three triangular UFOs over Shirley MacClaine’s house, and the next thing I remember was the picket line outside the Wonkette office building, which is actually an abandoned Chinese buffet restaurant next to a Payday Loan place in Prince George’s County.

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This week, Joe and Hadassah Lieberman, Henry Rollins, Ian Svenonius, Paul Begala, Harriet Miers, Ralph Nader, Conrad Burns and Scooter Libby were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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This week’s Wonk’d features everyone you love to hate: Tom Delay putting giant brown things in his mouth, Anne Coulter taking some good meat, Lynne Cheney staying safe under a brand new helmet, and Rick Santorum just being the whack otis he usually is. If you’d like a lighter mood for Friday afternoon, you’ll also get Howard Dean’s charming cab habit and Martin Sheen in DC for real and not just in your heart. All these lovely tidbits, plus a sign from God that Ralph Nader should probably hang up his wagging finger of shame.

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* Ralph Nader at Penn Quarter Olsson’s. He’s got a new book called The Seventeen Traditions, where he “revisits seventeen traditions he learned from his parents, his siblings, and the people in his community, and draws from them inspiring lessons for today’s society.” Free and fffun at 7:30PM. [Olsson's]
* Smithsonian lecture on what constitutes scripture. SPOILER ALERT: Islam invented it. $35 at 6:30PM. [Smithsonian]
* The Learning Tree at AFI. Gordon Parks’s first feature film was also the first major studio production by a black director. Parks adapted the screenplay from his acclaimed 1963 autobiographical novel about growing up in rural Kansas in the 1920s. The story follows Newt (Kyle Johnson) as he struggles with love, death, justice and racial hatred. Superior period detail and cinematography highlight a story at once penetrating and profoundly nostalgic.” $9:50 at 7PM. [AFI]

Just because someone is on TV, has run for president, or whatever, doesn’t mean they know how to dress themselves properly. Case in point: Ralph Nader. It’s just not that cold out, Ralph.

Candy Crowley might need a few wardrobe tips too — and a reality check. While we’re giving unsolicited advice, how about a refresher driving class for Bob Novak? It seems like he needs it.

There’s still more Wonk’d to come this week, so you have a few more days to fatten our inbox with sightings. Just put “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line, and we’ll publish all the hot fresh spottings on Friday.

Check out the first installment of this week’s sightings, after the jump.

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You need keen eyes to spot celebrities in this town — unless, of course, they herald their own presence, as did Bill Cosby and Thomas Friedman this week. It’s also hard to keep a low profile if you’re sporting a shock of silver hair, like Anderson Cooper, or have a nuclear-family-sized security squad, like Anthony Williams.

George Stephanopoulos must have a fetish for being Wonk’d, because he can’t seem to stay hidden. But even discretion doesn’t work all the time, as Condi Rice found out. It’s also totally impossible to be inconspicuous if you’re 7′2″ — and Dikembe Mutombo doesn’t even try.

We all know they’re dying to be seen, so just help feed their celebrit-ego by sending us all your sightings, by email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with of the name of the spotted celeb). On behalf of all the dying-for-attention famous people out there, we thank you.

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• Heard on the Hill: A freelance photographer has been sneaking into the Senate Photo Studio. . . Rep. Adam Putnam (R-Fla.) catches a 360-pound shark. . . Chuck Norris meets his biggest fan, the Senate elevator operator. [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Glenn Close visits the Hill to save wild animals. . . Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.) is reaching out to the Polish-American vote. [The Hill]
• Rush & Molloy: National Enquirer uncovers photos of Rep. Patrick Kennedy dressed up as Michael Jackson. . . Rupert Murdoch on raising funds for Hillary: “It’s not a million-dollar raising. It’s got nothing to do with anything other than her Senate re-election.” [NYDN]
• Inside the Beltway: C-SPAN will add the major cities in congressional districts to their lower-third graphics. [WT]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Laurie Dhue wins a free trip to Jordan at a party for Queen Rania. . . Ralph Nader gets a form letter response from Bill Clinton. [NYDN]
• Cindy Adams: What about a Gore-Clinton ticket? [NYP]

Yesterday we shared with you several sightings of the Bush twins, in the provocatively titled “Wonk’d: Barbara Bush’s Full-Frontal Body Rub.”

Today we bring you sightings of, well, everyone else. You can check them out — including a sweaty Chuck Schumer (don’t say we didn’t warn you!) — after the jump.

Please continue to send us your sightings, by email, with either “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line. Thanks!

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• Rush & Molloy: Sen. Ted Kennedy’s (D-Mass.) alleged “secret love child” jokes about having “the classic Kennedy drinking problem”. . . Al Gore and Ralph Nader expected to attend Beastie Boys event at Sundance. . . Rudy Giuliani lunches with Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Texas) and Al D’Amato. [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: George Clooney’s father urges Jack Abramoff’s father to chill out: “I’ve found it very hard not to bite my tongue, but I do. You can’t really respond for your kid.” [NYDN]