Wonkette

Above, a selection from the November 13, 1997 Congressional Record. The speaker is Representative Ralph Hall (R-TX) and the subject is, of course, sex slavery in something called the Northern Mariana Islands (apparently we own them?). Like most stirring congressional rhetoric, these words were in response to a Readers’ Digest article, and were suggested/written by the office of super-lobbyist Jack Abramoff, who, along with li’l ol’ Tom DeLay, was doing a bit of business with said Islands. The gist: the sex slave was asking for it dressed like that. MORE »

• Ned Lamont not dissimilar from another famous Lamont, have more than just selling junk in common. [Hot Johnny]

• Congressman Ralph Hall “loves bush” wants to “pull down his britches” and show him how much. [Pink Dome]
• Blair and Bush: one is working hard, the other’s hardly working. [ThinkProgress]
• Americans go AWOL in culture war. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• Deserters to form own Army whose central tenet is unwavering belief in all internet conspiracy theories. [Shakespeare's Sister]
• A double barreled shotgun: when you absolutely must shoot every motherfucker in the room, in the face. [Andrew Sullivan]
• ExxonMobil uses loser who lives in his parent’s basement as cover for their An Inconvenient Truth parody. [The Raw Story]

• Heard on the Hill: Rep. Rob Simmons (R-Conn.) “gave an impassioned defense of the use of dog booties.” to the Homeland Security Committee Wednesday… House Majority Leader John Boehner never thought he’d get elected, because people pronounce his name “Boner.” [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Rep. Ralph Hall (R-Texas) and former Rep. Billy Tauzin (R-La.) are performing a vaudeville comedy routine at the Shakespeare Theatre Company, accompanied by “congressional band” the Second Amendments. [The Hill]
• Reliable Source: NPR correspondent Daniel Schorr is turning 90 next month. NPR had a party for him and named a studio after him… Antonin Scalia “downed ceviche and pisco sours” at a farewell party for the Peruvian Ambassador. [WP]
• Lowdown: CBS News pulled an interview with a Canadian activist, possibly because they fear aggravating President Bush. [NYDN]
• Page Six: For reasons unfathomable to everyone, Charles Barkley sides with John ‘Cougar’ Mellencamp in his feud with Dan Quayle. [NYP]

The American political elite are enviable in so many ways. Doesn’t everyone wish they had a really good-looking family, like Dick Gephardt’s? Or a culturally sensitive patriarch, like Karl Rove? Perhaps there is more admiration for our great athletes — like Yankees players Mike Mussina and Alex Rodriguez, who both have tons of fans — even if Jeff Gannon isn’t one. In any case, just sit back and have a beer like Tim Russert, or go Patrick Kennedy-style with an iced tea — there’s lots more wonk’d after the jump.

There’s no way that baseball hats and sunglasses can keep any celebs from getting wonk’d by you hardworking tipsters. Once you’ve discovered their charade, email us, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (and the name of the “brity” that should have known better). You keep a sendin’, we’ll keep a postin’, and they’ll keep pretendin’ to be surprised when they’re spotted.

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