Person for whom there are no more nicknames Michele Bachmann is teaming up with the #1 asshole in Congress, Iowa’s Steve King, to throw “a big party” on the National Mall this Thursday against health care reform, the worst idea since 9/11 and, before that, the Holocaust. Also on the “worst guest list you can imagine” guest list are Betsy McCaughey, Jon Voight, and Mark Levin of National Review. As best we can interpret, the “idea” is for wingnuts nationwide to travel to Washington, get loaded on free kegs of cat piss, and then go yell at every member of Congress about freedom and liberty. What a steal! MORE »

Barack Obama did something today that he has not been able to do very often during a health care debate: address the Youngs! Usually it is all about convincing old, voting retards that he will not kill them with black people weapons. The atmosphere at University of Maryland’s Comcast Center was so 2008! There was even a volley of “fired up, ready to go.” Remember when everyone used to love that?? Also: He referred to friendly, fat, and very unimportant Congressmen Dutch Ruppersberger as “Butch,” and all the kids started booing when he mentioned Max Baucus, ha ha. How ginchy! It’s the new college fad. [YouTube]

According to sources in the know, the governor of California is a very smart and capable politician who demonstrates a great ability to grasp complicated subjects and quickly boil them down to their fundamentals. He is also a pretty hilarious entertainer. For example! Yesterday at a McCain rally in Ohio he cracked a few jokes about Barack Obama’s skinny legs, and he made a better argument for John McCain’s tax policy than John McCain ever had. But the VERY BEST part came at the end. MORE »

Ha ha John McCain’s new boyfriend is a terrible media whore! Joe the Plumber has successfully converted his 15 milliseconds of fame into a COUNTRY MUSIC RECORDING CONTRACT and a live televised shotgun wedding on November 4th to Sarah Palin’s sixth baby, “Trotsky,” on top of a melting ice floe. MORE »

Wonkette videographer and local hero Liz Glover covered an Obama rally Wednesday in Leesburg, a rich person’s town in Northern Virginia. Who cares what Obama said — probably HOPE HOPE HOPE BLAH PFFT — Liz was more interested in the McCain-Palin fans who showed up just to stare at all of the liberals. Here’s one fella she met, a professional in the very reckless industry that is currently destroying the global economy, thanks. He is worried about “Socialism” and hates all of the Illegal Mexicans with whom he, uh, works. [YouTube]

The McCain campaign’s angry tone this week has produced frightening anecdotes from every McCain/Palin rally about murdering the treasonous terrorist Barack Obama. Wingnuts are seeing Obama solidify his leads and are genuinely frightened that this Muslim might actually do it! And what does that make them do? Be even “wingnuttier,” of course, and that means that the mob rallies are getting more primitive and violent by the day. Today’s rally — “the angriest McPalin rally ever” — was in Wisconsin, a “swing state” where Obama is leading by 10 points. MORE »

John McCain and Sarah Palin recently held a rally in Green Bay for 10,000 people, but sad Barack Obama could only scare up 6,000 at noon on a Monday. He promised to talk about our nation’s flourishing economy and instead just delivered a weird lecture about how important it is to put lobbyist meetings online via a hidden sexcam. Then an organizer came out and made this weird election-day threat: “Volunteer for at least one hour or spend four years regretting that you did not.” Barack Obama is resorting to scare tactics and hidden lobbyist pornography. He must be panicking! [Chicago Sun-Times]

Last night Sarah Palin flew back to her ice cave and gave a rousing address to her people on the snowy tundra. An Undercover Moosketeer Obamatard kindly snapped a few candid photos from the rally and sent them along. Here we have the vice-president-to-be in literally the only unflattering photograph we have ever seen of her. And yet! Even here she is not looking crazy-eyed or duck-faced, just vaguely reptilian. Sarah Palin, we salute you. MORE »

Wonkette photo operative “Jamie” sends this scan of your friendly neighborhood WaPo. “Spectators at a morning flag-raising ceremony at Tiananmen Square in Beijing shout slogans in praise of China, whose residents are reveling in national pride,” reads the caption. So what’s up with the gal in the middle there? Was she kidnapped from Ted Stevens’ press conference? [Washington Post]

Here’s a Fox News clip from today of John McCain’s communications director Jill Hazelbaker, a.k.a. “the poor man’s Dana Perino.” She said that Barack Obama is not going to the Middle East to learn anything about the situation On The Ground — a stark contrast to avid listener John McCain, who learned about the two kinds of Muslims during his last trip to the region. MORE »

Politico’s Ben Smith has posted a HIT PIECE on Barack Obama today, calling him a FRAUD, who is CONSCIOUS of IMAGE. Two Muslim women, apparently, were supposed to stand behind Obama’s podium at his big Al Gore Rally in Detroit on Monday. They each were wearing “Muslim headscarves,” however, and since Barack Obama must not ever be near any known Muslims, his campaign volunteers wouldn’t allow the two gals behind the podium after all. So now we’ve got one of those Old Politics/New Politics/Hypocrisy things on our hands. MORE »