Tag Archives: rallies

  Are you sure they said today?

Hundreds of Patriots, Cleverly Disguised As Tourists, Rally For Impeachment At White House

At noon on Saturday, the Real Americans of the greater Washington, DC metropolitan area were set to celebrate National Impeach Obama Week by meeting at the White House to call for the immediate impeachment of Kenyan Usurper President Barry Soetoro. The Wonket Washington Bureau readied full team coverage and had the interns price out some down-market gas masks, expecting a constitutionally righteous mob of sign-wielding activists surging forward against a line of police officers summoned from surrounding jurisdictions. Read more on Hundreds of Patriots, Cleverly Disguised As Tourists, Rally For Impeachment At White House…
  bring the family

Clip And Save: Your Patriot Bingo Card!

  ATTENTION, LOVERS OF FREEDOM! We assume we’ll be seeing all of you Real Americans Saturday at noon. What’s that? You have plans to spend your Labor Day weekend eating warm potato salad by the lake, maybe burning some lawn clippings in defiance of local ordinances? To that we say NO. We do not give one good goddamn about your pre-marinated grillin’ steaks or your non-refundable cabin rental. Your presence is required elsewhere. Read more on Clip And Save: Your Patriot Bingo Card!…
  next year in jerusalem!

God Is Telling New Jew Glenn Beck To Hold Rally In Israel

Sure, we can make jokes about the world ending this Saturday, but there is suddenly ample evidence: God has chosen his most reputable media servant to go to Jerusalem and tell the Palestinians to stop existing. According to Glenn Beck, “evil” forces, the ones who so evilly allowed Arabs to overthrow their dictators, are washing into Palestine and will soon accomplish the most terrifying thing of all: peace between Israel and Palestine. NOOOOOOO! Not peace! The horror! God told Beck to hold a rally in Jerusalem to try to stop this. Hope you wingnuts can figure out how to get a passport. You and your trusty scooter got a rally in a foreign country (scary!) to attend. Read more on God Is Telling New Jew Glenn Beck To Hold Rally In Israel…
  funny pictures

NOBAMAs Can’t Make Signs: Photos From NYC’s Teabagger Rally

Teabagger rallies are happening across the country today because Teabaggers thought April 15 is Tax Day this year; it’s not. Probably worried about another embarrassingly low turnout, no event was held in D.C. Your editor, like a number of other blog types in New York City, stopped by the one in Foley Square, which organizers bragged was the only event covered by Fox News, even though turnout was pretty pathetic here too. Above, look, the NOBAMAs have emerged from their slumber! At least we think so. The circle with a line through it technically means this sign means “no NOBAMA.” Is this Tebagger an Obama supporter with a sense of humor, or is she just dumb? Read more on NOBAMAs Can’t Make Signs: Photos From NYC’s Teabagger Rally…
  satire woodstock

Liveblogging the Comedy Central Rally Thing From the National Mall

As the world knows, one of those stations on the teevee reserved some of the green areas of the National Mall on which to have a comedy concert thing, and this is happening right now. If you decided you did not want to go to this thing and be forced to stand among the unwashed liberal teevee-watching elites, your Wonkette is now here with LIVE TEAM COVERAGE to accompany you watching this on teevee or your computer or whatever. (And if you are at the rally and somehow reading this, go ahead and tip us at the usual e-mail with whatever odd photos you have taken or with descriptions of whatever weird stuff is going on in the crowd that we don’t see in our Media Bubble.) Currently famed Jimmy Fallon house band The Roots are performing the “pre-show” with John Legend, just as they did at Glenn Beck’s rally, so we guess we should start this liveblog thing. Read more on Liveblogging the Comedy Central Rally Thing From the National Mall…
  oh did someone ask trig's opinion?

Can the Media Shut Up About Comedy Central In Time To Cover the Election?

If you haven’t heard, Comedy Central is going to have a comedy event this weekend on the National Mall, because some of their shows are primarily rooted in political humor. This has very much confused the media, because people who hold “rallies” on this spot of dirt and grass are usually very political! (Except for musicians, like at the July 4 fireworks show or, say, this “rally.”) They generally DO NOT care for some people coming into THEIR BLAND CITY OF BULLSHIT and performing comedy and stuff on a stage. And thus this week has been made up of endless, inane editorials about how this rally is bad for politics or whatever, and the only way this can be bad for politics, of course, is if they cover it like it is the most important event in politics when in fact there is a pretty important election a week away. So will they have time to break away from their huge presence at this comedy concert thing to devote their full, necessary effort to covering the glut of highly important elections that are currently coming down to the wire? Read more on Can the Media Shut Up About Comedy Central In Time To Cover the Election?…
  sure this guy seems legit okay we'll impeach

Massive Crowd of 5 Birthers Had a Rally On the Mall This Weekend

What an inspiring speech! There’s birther Phil Berg, leader of this rally, hacking up phlegm and relaying the laundry list of “proof” we all know now by heart that the president was not born in the United States. As Dave Weigel notes, there were “dozens of people” at this thing! That is a really big rally! Actually, Weigel has been the only journalist to cover this event at all, which is a real shame, because pretty soon that fat guy in the back with the Captain America hoodie is going to discover the “smoking gun” of the field of Obama-birth-certificate science, and everyone in the media is going to be really embarrassed for stopping their breathless coverage of these cretins so early in the game. Read more on Massive Crowd of 5 Birthers Had a Rally On the Mall This Weekend…
  it's morning in america

Scientist Proves Teabagger Signs Aren’t Racist, Exposes Media Conspiracy

A graduate student from UCLA photographed 250 signs that she saw at the 9/12 FreedomWorks rally, and then did scientific experiments to determine whether these signs were racist or not. The grad student’s analysis found “only about a quarter of all signs reflected direct anger with Obama. Only 5 percent of the total mentioned the president’s race or religion, and slightly more than 1 percent questioned his American citizenship.” Only five percent of the signs this lady saw at a rally said “Obama is a Muslin”? What could this mean? It means the media has distorted the Teabagger message, which is Freedom. We’ve attended many of these Teabagger picnics — not just one! — and we cannot agree more. Why won’t the liberal media apologize for calling all of these crusty, self-loathing brain-dead white people mean names? And also, we would like to apply to UCLA’s Teabagger Ph.D. program. [WaPo] Read more on Scientist Proves Teabagger Signs Aren’t Racist, Exposes Media Conspiracy… Read more on Scientist Proves Teabagger Signs Aren’t Racist, Exposes Media Conspiracy…
  but what of the blingee?

Nation’s Political Action Reduced To Crowd Figures, Animated GIFs

At one point in our nation’s history, popular political action was supposed to mean something. For example, the entire Vietnam War was fought because the Vietcong stole John Kerry’s windsurfing board, and all of America’s youth gathered in the streets to protest this by sticking flowers filled with explosives into the guns of the National Guard. These days, groups want to meet on the National Mall to protest things, but they are not allowed to be partisan or do much of anything, like hold signs or speak. But that’s okay! They can just stand there and look at the big teevees that are set up! The important thing is getting a count of how many people show up, not the content of the rally. Read more on Nation’s Political Action Reduced To Crowd Figures, Animated GIFs…
  national mal

Dumb Libtards To Host Own Glenn Beck Rally This Weekend

The most important thing concerning liberals is no longer getting their party — which actually controls the legislative and executive branches — to pass liberal laws; it is to spend all their time criticizing teevee people who just want to make money off of the stupidity of conservatives. Thus, liberal groups are coming together this weekend to descend on the National Mall to “stick it” to Glenn Beck or something. But of course this will just be disorganized and dumb and sad. Read more on Dumb Libtards To Host Own Glenn Beck Rally This Weekend…
  the founders had no youtube

Here’s the Stupid 9/12 Video!

If you want to get a feel for what the 9/12 rallies in Washington, Sacramento, and St. Louis were like, just take your laptop to the nearest Old Country Buffet, flip it open next to the meat bar, and watch this video that the Tea Party Patriots made especially for the trifecta-occasion. Read more on Here’s the Stupid 9/12 Video!…
  wait other beck is a scientologist so maybe not

Sarah Palin Slights Glenn Beck By Mistaking Him For Sane Person

Oh look, Twitter, Sarah Palin is here to tell us that the media is being silly about her pal @beck’s rally. What’s that silly media? You say @beck is the Twitter handle not of Glenn Beck but of the multi-instrumentalist musicman Beck? Sounds like you’re just relying on your eyes and ears again, like idiots. Read more on Sarah Palin Slights Glenn Beck By Mistaking Him For Sane Person…
  free-market birtherism

See You At the Obama Birther Rally!

Hot on the pristine white velcro tennis-shoe’d heels of Glenn Beck’s weekend Slob Picnic/miracle, the Birthers have announced that they too plan on rallying in our nation’s beleaguered capital. Hooray! Read more on See You At the Obama Birther Rally!…
  glenn beck has a dream that you buy his books

Conservatives Think Glenn Beck’s White-People MLK March Is Dumb

Glenn Beck and an army of Teabaggers are going to march on Washington on the anniversary of the “I Have a Dream” speech this weekend for some reason or another. Basically somebody at Beck headquarters said, “Let’s get some of those yelling people to yell about things on the National Mall, but let’s put Glenn in front of them.” Now conservatives are actually starting to realize that Glenn Beck is just doing this to stoke his own cult of personality. It turns out the march was originally planned to help launch Glenn Beck’s latest book, but wingnuts are just now picking up on this. Read more on Conservatives Think Glenn Beck’s White-People MLK March Is Dumb…
  'i have a gun' speeches

Gun Nuts Helping Glenn Beck With His Dumb Rally

Hey you guys, are you going to Glenn Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally at the Lincoln Memorial on “8.28.10”? We should all carpool with Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin in their cars/snow machines and sing “Cat Scratch Fever” on the way, it will be so cool. But if their rides are full, then maybe our National Rifle Association friends can take us to the rally, which is being promoted with Abe Lincoln posters. Did you know that Abraham Lincoln was shot once? Read more on Gun Nuts Helping Glenn Beck With His Dumb Rally…
  where we all want to be

Tim Pawlenty Gets Inside Bachmann-Palin Sandwich [UPDATE: Better Stream!]

Tim Pawlenty, the Minnesota governor who wants to be president but is incapable of making anyone care about him, ever, was so jealous of Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann’s CURRENT & ACTUALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW death rally that he stone cold invited himself and fuckin’ bought the website BachmannRally.com, putting his own stupid logo over it. Doesn’t he realize that he lacks a vagina? Read more on Tim Pawlenty Gets Inside Bachmann-Palin Sandwich [UPDATE: Better Stream!]…
  news

John McCain Is So Confused About Everything Right Now

Here is a clip, ANY clip, of John McCain’s rally with Sarah Palin this afternoon, in Arizona. See she’s bustin’ out the leather tit jacket. TeLLyPrOmmTr, notes-on-mah-hand, etc. But just look at John McCain back there. Just look at him. At :32, clapping like that robot monkey with the cymbals. He has no idea what the fuck is happening. [YouTube] Read more on John McCain Is So Confused About Everything Right Now…
  sexy parties

Bachmann, Other Gargoyles To Throw Terrifying ‘Harass Yr Representative’ Party, Thursday

Person for whom there are no more nicknames Michele Bachmann is teaming up with the #1 asshole in Congress, Iowa’s Steve King, to throw “a big party” on the National Mall this Thursday against health care reform, the worst idea since 9/11 and, before that, the Holocaust. Also on the “worst guest list you can imagine” guest list are Betsy McCaughey, Jon Voight, and Mark Levin of National Review. As best we can interpret, the “idea” is for wingnuts nationwide to travel to Washington, get loaded on free kegs of cat piss, and then go yell at every member of Congress about freedom and liberty. What a steal! Read more on Bachmann, Other Gargoyles To Throw Terrifying ‘Harass Yr Representative’ Party, Thursday…
  they also don't vote regularly

College Children Still Like Barack Obama, In Maryland

Barack Obama did something today that he has not been able to do very often during a health care debate: address the Youngs! Usually it is all about convincing old, voting retards that he will not kill them with black people weapons. The atmosphere at University of Maryland’s Comcast Center was so 2008! There was even a volley of “fired up, ready to go.” Remember when everyone used to love that?? Also: He referred to friendly, fat, and very unimportant Congressmen Dutch Ruppersberger as “Butch,” and all the kids started booing when he mentioned Max Baucus, ha ha. How ginchy! It’s the new college fad. [YouTube] Read more on College Children Still Like Barack Obama, In Maryland…
  best rally ever

Schwarzenegger Promises McCain Presidency Will Be Like POW Camp

According to sources in the know, the governor of California is a very smart and capable politician who demonstrates a great ability to grasp complicated subjects and quickly boil them down to their fundamentals. He is also a pretty hilarious entertainer. For example! Yesterday at a McCain rally in Ohio he cracked a few jokes about Barack Obama’s skinny legs, and he made a better argument for John McCain’s tax policy than John McCain ever had. But the VERY BEST part came at the end. Read more on Schwarzenegger Promises McCain Presidency Will Be Like POW Camp…
  awkward

Joe The Plumber Stands Up McCain On Live TV

Ha ha John McCain’s new boyfriend is a terrible media whore! Joe the Plumber has successfully converted his 15 milliseconds of fame into a COUNTRY MUSIC RECORDING CONTRACT and a live televised shotgun wedding on November 4th to Sarah Palin’s sixth baby, “Trotsky,” on top of a melting ice floe. Read more on Joe The Plumber Stands Up McCain On Live TV…
  real 'murkins

Wonkette Interviews Protester At Virginia Obama Rally

Wonkette videographer and local hero Liz Glover covered an Obama rally Wednesday in Leesburg, a rich person’s town in Northern Virginia. Who cares what Obama said — probably HOPE HOPE HOPE BLAH PFFT — Liz was more interested in the McCain-Palin fans who showed up just to stare at all of the liberals. Here’s one fella she met, a professional in the very reckless industry that is currently destroying the global economy, thanks. He is worried about “Socialism” and hates all of the Illegal Mexicans with whom he, uh, works. [YouTube] Read more on Wonkette Interviews Protester At Virginia Obama Rally…