Wonkette

The McCain campaign’s angry tone this week has produced frightening anecdotes from every McCain/Palin rally about murdering the treasonous terrorist Barack Obama. Wingnuts are seeing Obama solidify his leads and are genuinely frightened that this Muslim might actually do it! And what does that make them do? Be even “wingnuttier,” of course, and that means that the mob rallies are getting more primitive and violent by the day. Today’s rally — “the angriest McPalin rally ever” — was in Wisconsin, a “swing state” where Obama is leading by 10 points. MORE »

John McCain and Sarah Palin recently held a rally in Green Bay for 10,000 people, but sad Barack Obama could only scare up 6,000 at noon on a Monday. He promised to talk about our nation’s flourishing economy and instead just delivered a weird lecture about how important it is to put lobbyist meetings online via a hidden sexcam. Then an organizer came out and made this weird election-day threat: “Volunteer for at least one hour or spend four years regretting that you did not.” Barack Obama is resorting to scare tactics and hidden lobbyist pornography. He must be panicking! [Chicago Sun-Times]

Last night Sarah Palin flew back to her ice cave and gave a rousing address to her people on the snowy tundra. An Undercover Moosketeer Obamatard kindly snapped a few candid photos from the rally and sent them along. Here we have the vice-president-to-be in literally the only unflattering photograph we have ever seen of her. And yet! Even here she is not looking crazy-eyed or duck-faced, just vaguely reptilian. Sarah Palin, we salute you. MORE »

Wonkette photo operative “Jamie” sends this scan of your friendly neighborhood WaPo. “Spectators at a morning flag-raising ceremony at Tiananmen Square in Beijing shout slogans in praise of China, whose residents are reveling in national pride,” reads the caption. So what’s up with the gal in the middle there? Was she kidnapped from Ted Stevens’ press conference? [Washington Post]

Here’s a Fox News clip from today of John McCain’s communications director Jill Hazelbaker, a.k.a. “the poor man’s Dana Perino.” She said that Barack Obama is not going to the Middle East to learn anything about the situation On The Ground — a stark contrast to avid listener John McCain, who learned about the two kinds of Muslims during his last trip to the region. MORE »

Politico’s Ben Smith has posted a HIT PIECE on Barack Obama today, calling him a FRAUD, who is CONSCIOUS of IMAGE. Two Muslim women, apparently, were supposed to stand behind Obama’s podium at his big Al Gore Rally in Detroit on Monday. They each were wearing “Muslim headscarves,” however, and since Barack Obama must not ever be near any known Muslims, his campaign volunteers wouldn’t allow the two gals behind the podium after all. So now we’ve got one of those Old Politics/New Politics/Hypocrisy things on our hands. MORE »

Sexy text-messager Kwame Kilpatrick doesn’t want his “legal problems” to reflect poorly on Barack Obama, so he won’t be attending a rally to support the candidate in Detroit today. “Legal problems” is certainly one way of putting it! Pretty much everybody in the Detroit metropolitan area has tried to get Mayor Kilpatrick to resign after it came out that he and his staffer ladyfriend basically got a cop fired and later lied about it, all so that they could keep texting each other about how much they wanted to LOL each other in a sexy fashion at the Benz Chili Bowl. Naturally, when the city council tried to fire him he vetoed the motion because that would be Undemocratic. MORE »

Silly Barry Obama held a rally with 75,000 attendees in Portland, Oregon today. Jesus, don’t people go to church anymore, or has Obama converted all the kids to Islam (via MTV)? According to the Washington Post, “The sea of heads stretches for half a mile along the grassy embankment, while others watch from kayaks and power boats bobbing on the Willamette River. More hug the rails of the steel bridge that stretches across the water and crowds are even watching from jetties on the opposite shore.” After the jump, a picture of that. MORE »

Are you feeling extra hippieish today, hippies? Maybe a little more communal, communists? That’s because it’s May Day, the main drunken pagan sex holiday of the first week of May. In fact, today used to be America’s Labor Day, until right-wing bloggers of the Soviet era found out it was actually a commie holiday built around the commie traditions of a) abortion and b) colorful paper streamers. And then the evil “May Day” was patriotically converted into “Loyalty Day” … but did anybody tell the Mexicans? MORE »

Here is some video from last night’s Hillary Clinton rally at the University of Pennsylvania, including Stephanie Tubbs Jones getting fired up and having a verbal hernia. There’s a cappella and some cameraman giving Liz the middle finger. Then the Mayor of Philadelphia, Michael Nutter, says “MUST BE SOME VOTIN GETTIN READY TO HAPPEN UP IN HERE.” Then Chelsea comes on and says “my mom and my dad blah blah blah, I am the human in this family.” Then Bill Clinton lies, he lies a lot. You’ve never heard someone lie more in your life than you have Bill Clinton at a rally for his wife. But he sounds so nice, still. Then they play a song from the Ford commercials, the end.

Here are Ron Paul’s supporters, still leading the Ron Paul rEVOLution, on the lawn of the U.S. Capitol yesterday at a rally, gazing longingly at George Washington’s aluminum-tipped erect penis in the distance. Did you know that Ron Paul will also have a famous obelisk-cum-penis when he is president, again? More pictures of his concubines dancing the dance of Freedom, after the jump! MORE »

Doomed presidential candidate Ron Paul is truly leading a movement, and the proof is in the massive turnouts he regularly achieves…and the tragically low number of people he is able to convert into actual voters. Last Saturday in Austin he held a rally of semi-historic proportions, gathering 4,000 people on the University of Texas campus to hear him rail against the criminal Federal Reserve. And that day, a whopping 54 people cast an early ballot on campus for a Republican presidential candidate. Assuming every one of those votes went to Dr. Paul, he will only need approximately eleventy zillion more rally-goers to clinch his party’s nomination. [Burnt Orange Report, Daily Texan]

Here’s a video some random person took of Ron Paul at yesterday’s big Roe vee Wade Anti-Abortion Party. He rambles about murder and the Constitution and life and babies, and it’s unsettling. To the ladies out there, a query: Can you imagine Ron Paul being your OB/GYN? Like, if you had a choice between (a) immediate death and (b) opening your eyes just after delivering your first child, excitement beyond measure, and seeing a hunched, grizzled Dr. Ron Paul grinning over your baby asking “Who is John Galt?” — would you choose (b)? Just throwing it out there. [Raw Story, YouTube]