JOHN McCAIN PUSSES OUT ON RAINY RALLY; OBAMA STAYS: Well ladies and gentlemen, that settles it. Your brave war hero John McCain does not want to hold an outdoor rally in the rain in Pennsylvania, while an hour away, Barack Obama the Hawaiian shark god whips a drenched crowd of 9.000 into an orgiastic frenzy. What is wrong with all these terrible hippies, standing in the rain to listen to some guy talk about hope while his teleprompter breaks. [FOX News]

“Doctor” James Dobson’s hub of fundies, Focus on the Family, is worse than Hitler, Stalin, Chairman Mao, Lyndon Johnson and Senator-cum-Emperor freaking Palpatine combined, times a billion, squared, plus seven. While some “new-wave” fundies show potential to be not quite as awful — they care about poverty! — we still have to deal with the likes of Old Dobson and his minions, however muted they are these days, for like another 10 years before he hopefully dies, alone, one cell croaking painfully at a time. Look at these twats, now they are “praying for a deluge to drown out Barack Obama at the Democratic National Convention in two weeks’ time.” They are asking for “abundant, torrential” downpours. And they’ve made a video for this! MORE »

Apparently the weather hates freedom, because it is a bitch to get to the polls today. Snow, fog, thunderstorms…let’s see, can we get a plague of locusts somewheres? Rain of frogs, pustules of some sort? Oh looky there was a “rash” of traffic accidents in northern Wisconsin. With just a dab of “wintry mix” on his side, George Bush can be president forever! [AP/Google]

The National Capital Planning Commission predicts that the entirety of Washington, DC will become a charming and bizarre underwater Victorian photo-postcard, reports the Examiner. MORE »

No one will vote in the following states today: MORE »

* The Supreme Court bench-slapped the White House in the Gitmo military tribunal case. Tony Snow is unfazed: “Oh, those wacky Supreme Court justices, who knows what those guys mean!” MORE »

* Late to work? Blame it on Canada. [Movering] MORE »

Will it ever stop? What have we done to deserve… wait, hold on — it’s totally sunny out right now. Kinda pleasant, actually! Still, the Post reports today that the IRS, Justice, and the National Archives are waterlogged and closed. But wait — don’t go trafficking drugs, evading taxes, and not counting your slaves as 3/5ths of your state’s representation just yet! While the IRS remains closed and without a projected date for reopening, their spokesperson promises that “the tax system continues to operate.” Justice is apparently fine too, according to this email we were forwarded earlier today: MORE »

Remember the emergency alert system? When your TV emits an annoying, high-pitched noise, shows you a rainbow-colored bar, and says “this is a test, this is only a test, of the emergency alert system”? MORE »

• Peter Daou joins the HRC team as “blog adviser.” To help “reach out” to the “netroots.” Drum up support in the “blosophere,” on the “information superhighway.” Become the first “e-candidate,” win the “iPrimary.” [Daou Report]

• “Washington Deluge Foretold by Global Warming Book”? Yes. That book is called Genesis, people! [HuffPo]
• When studying the data related to single-sex schooling, it’s important to note that the distracting presence of boys can prevent girls from traveling to Jupiter, to get more stupider. [Hit&Run]
• More angry letters from cranks. [PJMedia]
• Guy with hat suggests profitable media company sell self to publisher whose flagship New York paper loses more money more spectacularly than any other. [Ed Driscoll]

Blogs… blogs… c’mon blogs… damn. MORE »