So guess what: the blogs are up in arms—or wings, for the Twitter ones??—over this latest suggestion that the blog people wear pajamas. This happens every now and again: Some politician—or anonymous Obama aide, in this case—says something that implies that pajamas have anything at all to do with the Internet. It is always extremely important that these hateful allegations are refuted because of literally infinity reasons. What if people read the blogs, but were under the impression that the people writing them were wearing sweatpants? Yeah exactly. Which is why the theme of the Internet today is: flannel and journalism are mutually exclusive. MORE »

You can just see Barack Obama ordering Rahm Emanuel to do this. “Rahm, you are an evil fuck and everyone knows it. You must humanize yourself and read a cute children’s book to children, which we will post on the Education Department’s website.” But we are not fooled by this STUNT. [YouTube]

By the Comics Curmudgeon
People, have you seen the famous terrible violent movie this summer, where the Batman is yelling angrily at the robots who became sentient and killed us all? And then also the other similarly terrible movies about the robots that are also cars, and also self-aware? Well, what if something like that were to happen, except instead of awesome robot cars, they were POLITICAL CARTOONS? Obviously, it would be significantly less terrifying and box-office-tastic, and it would look a little something like THIS. MORE »

• Once again, the Black Panthers have used their Beltway connections to evade the rule of law. How many books did Bobby Seale ghost write for you, Barack Obama? [RedState]
• Rahm Emanuel is selling ambassadorships and titles of nobility, at bargain-bin prices! A thoughtful gift for any occasion — birthdays, weddings, abortions, you name it! [Andrew Sullivan]
• David Vitter claims to represent “core conservative values.” Give it a rest, Vitter. We all know you’re straight, and just because you pay hookers to change your poopy diapers doesn’t really matter, as long as those hookers are ladies. [TPM]
• A privileged white man was arrested here, in DC, for singing the popular children’s song, “I Hate the Police, ee i ee i o.” He should have known better. Not even white people are allowed to have disorderly opinions. [HuffPost]
• Which is more distressing: Sarah Palin twittering about moose more often than health care, or the fact that Think Progress tallied up every word from every Palin Tweet, using spreadsheets and graphs and stuff? [Think Progress]

So we did a midsummer slow news day’s Wonk’d yesterday and what do you know, another billion Wonk’d sightings arrived in out Tips Box this morning. It’s like you people can be easily manipulated by suggestion. “Here are some Wonkette readers sending us Wonk’d items … this means you must do the same, reader.” And it works! (Next time we’ll subliminally make you do something vulgar in the Reflecting Pool.) Anyway, enjoy these eyewitness reports of Maria Shriver, Ralph Nader, Rahm Emanuel and Others doing whatever it is they do, in Washington! MORE »

You know you are scraping the bottom of the barrel, wonk-wise, when the most famous person on your “spotted around DC” list is Wolf Blitzer. Such is the state we find ourselves in this mid-July. But let’s check out the roster and see who was nearly run over in a parking garage, who was seen joking about his ex-wives, and who stumbled upon a hidden squad of lesbians in Alexandria! MORE »

Hey, we tried to make the headline concise, but these daily health care reform games are just nuts. Okay, so, TODAY’S INTERNET HEALTH CARE BABBLE RECAP: Rahm Emanuel told a newspaper that the White House would be open to the lamers’ version of health care reform, and then progressives went nuts, and then Obama released a statement from inside Lenin’s coffin supposedly “walking back” Rahm’s statement, and this is when the Halperins of the world started paying attention because it allowed them to write simple “Rahm vs. Obama” narratives, and then progressives actually read Obama’s “walk back” statement closely and saw that it was worded rather sneakily and wasn’t that different from what Rahm said in the first place, and now no one will ever be able to see a doctor again and we’ll all die and go to Hell, where this debate will presumably resume in another 10 to 20 years. MORE »

NBC News is airing some thing tonight and tomorrow night called “INSIDE THE OBAMA WHITE HOUSE: Brian Williams Reports.” It will be just like Jackie Kennedy showing American television viewers her French drapes and knowledge of French literature, but different! NBC wanted two things for this special: several minutes of Ted Kennedy’s Portuguese dog doing cute dog stuff in the hallways, and a few seconds of Rahm Emanuel being mean but not mean-mean. Here’s the latter! The camera crew just stands awkwardly in Rahm’s office, in silence, until finally he tells them GTFO. [MSNBC]

• BOMB WASHINGTON NOW: “With an impressively straight face, Rep. Steven LaTourette (R-Ohio) walked up to Rahm and said something that began with ‘you mother’ followed by a number of bleeped out expletives, according to eyewitnesses. Emanuel responded by giving LaTourette a friendly punch in the stomach, followed by a handshake.” [Washington Post]

• ABOUT THE WHCD: (”WHCD,” that’s what those of us “in-the-know” call it.) Yes: Raped, killed, and sent to Fox News, all of that, but in reverse-order. And Rahm Emanuel’s bodyguard? About as intimidating as one would imagine Rahm Emanuel’s bodyguard to be. And K-Lo, saw K-Lo too. So we’ll post a few pictures — oh no god no, not of K-Lo… yeeesh — of this vulgar p.r. stunt in the morning, or the afternoon, or whenever we recover our camera’s USB cable from the trash.

Well thanks for clearing that up, “administration officials”! On Sunday Rahm Emanuel suggested that “those who devised policy” around torture wouldn’t be prosecuted, but by yesterday other Obama people were rushing to walk that one back. What he meant, apparently, was that officials who ordered the torture shouldn’t be prosecuted, but the lawyers who devised the legal rationale maybe could. MORE »