Tag Archives: rafalca

  Edits Upon Edits Upon Edits

Veep Recap: Selina’s Big Speech

It’s Selina’s big special day! Watch as our heroine goes full Bridezilla! And hey look, it’s Jonah, now with improved character arc! All that and more in this week’s big shiny recap of “Veep,” oh boy! Read more on Veep Recap: Selina’s Big Speech…
  mo money less problems

Bill Gates Finally Finds Virus He Might Be Able to Cure

Let’s say you are a wildly successful individual and have generally accomplished a good deal in your life. You are getting older, retired from you job, and are deciding what to do with your golden years. Wisely deciding against whale oil investments and buying land next to foamy sploading pigshit, you have several options in front of you. In the Happy Time segment of this post, we give you Bill Gates. He has once again reclaimed the title of Richest Person in the World ($72.6 billion). Since he has more money than God (third place, $62.8 billion), he has decided to SAVE THE FUCKING WORLD. His newest goal is to eradicate polio. That’s right – since he was unsuccessful at eradicating any viruses through his venture with Windows, he said fuck it, I will take on polio. POLIO PEOPLE! The thing that crippled the godfather of liberals everywhere, Franklin “Jesus” D. Roosevelt (Peace Be Upon Him). And Bill Gates wants to wipe it off the face of the earth. The man has balls of (gold-plated) steel. How does he plan to do it? Read more on Bill Gates Finally Finds Virus He Might Be Able to Cure…
  her?

Sorry, But Ann Romney Does Not Think You People Are As Classy As Her Horse

Here is a fun little tidbit from a WaPo profile of proto-Paris Hilton Georgette Mosbacher: Egg Romney does not think you people are as classy as her horse who does ballet! At the convention, they could be seen bickering outside exclusive donor powwows (“Don’t be upset,” Georgette pleaded with Lyn outside a brunch organized by billionaire Paul Singer. “It was an honest mistake.”) or giddily relaying how Ann Romney, for whom Georgette has served on the host committee for several fundraisers in New York, privately reacted to Democratic attacks on her dressage-competing mare. (“My horse has more style and more class in its hoof than they do in their whole deal,” Lyn recounts.) That’s not fair! NOTHING is as classy as a horse that does ballet! Read more on Sorry, But Ann Romney Does Not Think You People Are As Classy As Her Horse…
  Blind Trust

Ann Romney Has No Idea What Is In Those Tax Returns But Assures You People That They Are Legal

Oh isn’t this NICE. Ann Romney took time away from her busy schedule of hanging out with Welsh ponies (srsly) to discuss politics with NBC news. And you will never guess what NBC learned, you guys. Ann Romney is not just the owner of a dancing horse! No sirree, she is the granddaughter of a coal miner! And a first generation American! And she has no idea what’s in her husband’s tax returns but she’s 100% confident that they’re legal! Don’t you people feel comforted? Read more on Ann Romney Has No Idea What Is In Those Tax Returns But Assures You People That They Are Legal…
  wonkette sports desk london

Rafalca’s Magical Olympics, Day One: Rafalca Losing To Some Dancing Horses, Beating Others

Your Wonkette knows that it is not allowed to make any lighthearted jokes about the rich presidential candidate and his wife who own a dancing horse that is competing in the Olympics. Americans have no history of making jokes about the playthings of the rich, in this case a German-bred mare. As Mitt Romney says, if we all work hard, we’ll all get rich and own dancing horses, and will we want the cretins to rib us then? Right. So here is an objective report of the first Olympics performance from the 15-year-old German-bred mare that dances and is owned by Ann and Mitt Romney. Read more on Rafalca’s Magical Olympics, Day One: Rafalca Losing To Some Dancing Horses, Beating Others…
  the horsey set

Why Won’t Mitt Romney Root For His Wife’s Dumb Horse?

Mitt Romney has taken a look at how they do things over there in old England-Land, and has quickly come to the well-justified conclusion that their Olympics are just a hot metric tonne of garbage compared to the awesome USA American Olympics he ran in Salt Lake City. But you’d think that he’d at least take some time out of hating the 2012 Olympics in general to show a little love for America’s greatest Olympian! We’re of course talking about Rafalca, the dressage horse partly owned by Mitt’s wife Ann. Why is he pretending that he hasn’t spent long evenings out in the stables, feeding Rafalca carrots and pouring out his soul? Read more on Why Won’t Mitt Romney Root For His Wife’s Dumb Horse?…
  bring on the dancing horses

Democrats Alienate Pony-Loving 12-Year-Old Voters With New Horsey Ad

How impressive is the Olympic sport of “dressage”? Well, maybe more impressive than the synchronized ribbon-twirling in rhythmic gymnastics. But that is probably it! So here is some “dressage” for you, and some “Mitt Romney” for you, and a wee reminder that the Romneys wrote $77,000 in horsecare off their taxes. (AT LEAST THE TAXES THAT WE ARE ALLOWED TO KNOW ABOUT.) Do stick through the video at least through the Rick Santorum cameo. Oh man we miss that guy. Read more on Democrats Alienate Pony-Loving 12-Year-Old Voters With New Horsey Ad…