Wonkette

We were all jealous of Wonkette videographer Liz Glover after seeing this Polaroid she took with America’s beautiful boy, Mitt “Willard” Romney. That is one tasty-lookin’ fraud salad! Liz claims that they never hooked up, but she doesn’t realize that in Mormonism, a handshake is considered third base. Also: Liz — like most people who, in some fashion, have worked for Gawker Media in the past — has been doing some work for the Radar blog, so help a sister out and watch this interview she did with Spike Lee in Denver. [Radar]

A hazy, unconfirmed source is claiming that ABC News’ Sam Donaldson’s number appears in the phone records of Deborah Jeane Palfrey, a.k.a. the DC Madam. If true, it appears Barbara Walters is officially tapped out. [Big Head DC via Radar]

UPDATE: Nevermind. Big Head DC just made shit up, so the universe is back in order. Watch Radar strip down its editor.

Much as it hurts to say this, Stephen Colbert could learn something about campaign law from Fred Thompson. When Thompson began fucking around with a presidential bid earlier in the year, he left Law and Order lest his nuanced method acting be construed as free advertising (or as gay, like teh ghey Hollywood Democrats!) Colbert, who announced his candidacy as both a Democrat and Republican for the South Carolina primaries on the Colbert Report Tuesday night, faces an even riskier situation if he actually runs, since he would be actively campaigning (yeah yeah in the jokey persona, but still) on teevee. Bureaucracy of bureacracies the Federal Election Commission (FEC) thinks this is some huge problem, some violation of their pwecious wittle laws. You know, the same perfect laws that allow Fred Thompson to run for President of the United States of America. MORE »

Radar reports a rumor today that is so poorly sourced, so speculative, and so hilarious that we wish we’d make it up first: Fox News’ Megyn Kendall Kelly is having an affair with Brit Hume. MORE »

Radar is reporting on a sketchy Jenna Bush video — down, boys, it’s about her, it’s not the First Family Sex Tape. Though it appears to have been only been seen by the same cousin-of-a-friend-of-this-guy-knew-in-summer-school demo as snuff films, Radar alleges that it is footage relating an amorous late-night hook-up between the blonde Bush and an amoral, warmongering, malaprop-prone “self-described downtown coke dealer.” Electra complex, anyone? MORE »

Remember last week? Our most important concerns were Cindy Sheehan, Bush’s approval rating and the MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF EVAN COHEN, co-founder of Air America and the nefarious principle in an elaborate scheme to defraud a children’s charity in the name of liberal radio badness. The former board member’s absence — reported rather ominously in the NY Sun — was raised by several blogs as yet another link in a damning chain of evidence against the network (though you’d think the programming would be enough). The shadiness of the situation even prompted Michelle Malkin to offer her services:

That is why I am volunteering to help Al Franken find the swindler and warn others about him. Free of charge. And I’m calling on my always curious, never bored, readers to fill the vacuum of outrage and join me in assisting The Search For Air America’s Swindler.

Curiously, the blogosphere failed to turn up Cohen. Perhaps this is one of those cases where the MSM’s immense resources just outstrip the scrappiness of independent bloggers. After all, big media have investigative funds, access to databases, international bureaus and. . . phones. John Cook, writing for Radar, reports that he spoke to Cohen, who listed in the New York and Hawaiian white pages and whose cell phone number hasn’t changed in two years. However, Cook reports, “David Lombino, the New York Sun reporter who wrote the August 26 story, is missing. By which I mean to say that he did not respond to numerous phone messages and one e-mail request for comment.” MORE »

Yesterday, Radar “reported” and today the NY Daily News picks up the cotton-candy strands of a rumor involving Karl Rove and a “comely lobbyist.” We’re unfamiliar with this whole “journalism” thing, but if this is how it’s done, we’re lowering our standards immediately.
Apparently, the two are “close friends” and she “often appears at Rove’s side at parties.” Also, he got her a cushy gig somewhere. Clearly, they’re fucking. And, wait, couldn’t you also observe that Rove is “close friends” with Bush? And often appears at his side at parties? Oh, and talk about getting someone a cushy gig! By these criteria, not only is Bush having an affair with Rove, but Washington is basically one big messy wet fragrant orgy. We’re never leaving the house again. MORE »