Wonkette

We interrupt your Fourth of July with some Breaking News: Jesse Helms was apparently still alive, and now he’s dead, hooray! He was a sour troll and a bigot, and it’s a testament to every rotten thing about this country that for a quarter century, he was one of the most powerful people in American politics. [LAT/NYT]

Get ready for the softer, whiter side of Michelle Obama! According to somebody at the New York Times who leaked it to Drudge Report, Barack’s fancy corporate wife is getting a “subtle makeover” that will finally make right-wing nuts put aside racism and sexism so they can metaphorically embrace their new first lady, who represents everything they so deeply resent in life: intelligence, wealth, style, liberalism and especially the “being female” and “being black” parts. UPDATE: Oh here it is. MORE »

Oh, Texas Republicans, you are always so funny. Here is a fun button worn by everyone at the Texas GOP convention. When not making hilarious rape jokes, Texas Republicans like to make jokes about ambitious coloreds. [America Blog]

OLD LIBERAL LADY HATES OBAMA: Geraldine Ferraro, the horrible old woman who made history in 1984 by giving Ronald Reagan 49 of 50 states, continues her winning streak today by telling the NYT she probably won’t vote for Obama in November because she’s racist he’s, uh, “sexist.” [Real Clear Politics]

Here he is, your favorite evangelical former Arkansas governor and failed GOP candidate Mike Huckabee, cracking up the NRA folks with the old “Hey the colored boy is a-scared of your rifles” line. Ha ha ha! [Daily Kos/Gawker]

AND ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS BECOME A RACIST: “Sen. Clinton’s Mountain State blowout was only her second such landslide victory in the 51 primaries and caucuses to date.” [Wall Street Journal]

Here’s the latest cuteness from America’s fat dumb racists: It is a t-shirt, stealing the trademarked children’s character “Curious George,” with the addition of a possibly insincere “Obama in ‘08″ slogan. Get it, because black people are like monkeys! Jesus fucking christ. Can we just have Robert Byrd give his Klan robe to Hillary and get it over with? Burn a cross on the White House lawn and call it a day? [Op-Ed News]

The glorious Paultard Freedom Train rolls on, but without Bill Johnson, a racist nut who is running for Superior Court judge in Los Angeles. Johnson wrote the (as yet unratified) “Pace Amendment” to the U.S. Constitution, which would’ve limited American citizenship to white people and octoroons. Ron Paul’s people say “Whoopsy, didn’t notice that,” and have now un-endorsed Johnson. MORE »