Oh my god David Brooks. He too is indignant about the suggestion that a bunch of these racist slob tea partiers are racists. He saw some of them talking to black people last weekend, during the 2.9 billion person (according to conservative blog estimates) tea party march! He was running — which he is wont to do, you see! — and saw that a few of the blacks were having one of their “raps,” and some tea partiers were there with them, listening to the rap. Then he explains that populism means hating people who live in cities, none of whom have jobs or work hard. MORE »

Poor-people-helping organization ACORN is the single most corrupt group in America, we know this. The Senate and House know this too. Why can’t they just be like a good organization, such as any bank or corporate law firm in the country, which are very respectable employers? ACORN, you may know, is headquartered in New Orleans, where there are many poor people, especially with the spikes in seasonal weather. And yesterday Governor Bobby Jindal made sure that they will have NO CONTRACTS with the state government, which they do not currently, but still, because of their corruption in humoring childish fake pimps in Baltimore. MORE »

Oh? Racist. Don’t give them too much credit, CNN. “(CNN) — Posters portraying President Obama as a witch doctor may be racist, organizers of Tea Party protests say, but they reflect anger about where he is leading the country.” Yes, racist anger. [CNN]

Hey junior crime-solvers, President of America Jimmy Carter has solved our country’s most terrible mystery, which is exactly just how racist is Joe Wilson? The answer? It was Mr. Wilson… in the House chamber… motivated by TONS OF RACISM. Wilson has vehemently denied being a guilty of racism, which exactly how a guilty person would act. Nice try. Like you, Jimmy Carter finds the whole thing “dastardly.” MORE »

Do you people still check out the Drudge Report thing? Yeah we don’t really either. But Gawker tells us that nowadays Matt Drudge only posts articles about Barack Obama and Serena Williams and whatever other black people exist beating up white people and line judges everywhere, most likely on buses. Well, Matt’s given out your lead story assignment for the night, news anchors, so let’s have some rough drafts ready by four okay? [Gawker]

On yesterday’s edition of the television program Fox News Sunday, Chris Wallace dared ask his guest, weird Joe Wilson, if he hates Barack Obama because of his black race. (It is common for white people to hate/enslave black people in South Carolina.) Wilson was all, no c’mon man! Then he empirically proved that he is best friends with the black Michelle Obama: “I respect President Obama. Actually, there’s a relationship in a way … his wife, ah, her family’s from Georgetown [South Carolina], ah, my family’s from next door, in McClellanville, so I, ah, have a great respect for the president.” WE BET THESE FAMILIES HUNG OUT ALL THE TIME. [Daily Intel via The Awl]

• Some people are not fond of strokes, but if you are impartial, by all means: clicky clicky. [YouTube]
• Eric Holder is in quite the pickle. If he doesn’t investigate torture, DailyKos will keep mailing him flaming boxes of poo. But if he does investigate torture … Point is, there’s a compromise that will satisfy both parties. [Matt Yglesias]
• Come for the opaque comics, stay for the brilliant comments: “RACISM IS ONE OF DEMOCRATS’ CLASSIC POLICIES. THEY ARE STILL DOING IT, NOW AGAINST THE WHITE.” [RedState]
• The CIA has a new thingamajig that’s “great for assassinations.” Hint: it’s a space laser. [Weekly Standard]

NO, SORRY, WE CANNOT FULLY MOCK THIS TRAGIC PAJAMAS TEEVEE MOVIE: As much as we like to take requests from young conservative portions of the Internet during “Monday Fun Lunch Hour,” this terrible Pajamas TV thing, where their token black guy gets tortured by Nancy Pelosi and Kim Jong Il, is just impossible to finish. The astonishing racism near the middle — haw haw, the yellows can’t pronounce the letter “L,” SO… SO IT SOUNDS LIKE “R” ALL THE TIME INSTEAD! — is decent. And yet. Why is Nancy Pelosi stripping? This is when we turned it off. Thanks anyway! [PJTV via Conor Friedersdorf]

Hello, clown! What historically racist but now somewhat common although still racist thing did you say at a town hall? “U.S. Rep. Lynn Jenkins offered encouragement to conservatives at a town hall forum that the Republican Party would embrace a ‘great white hope’ capable of thwarting the political agenda endorsed by Democrats who control Congress and President Barack Obama.” But what’s funnier is that she suggested this “great white hope” should be Eric Cantor, a known dandy. [Topeka Capital-Journal]

Well, that tears it. Cuban Communist nightmare thug Fidel Castro wrote a sympathetic newspaper column about our president, which means that Obama must resign immediately. “The extreme right hates him for being African-American and fights what the president does to improve the deteriorated image of that country,” Castro wrote. Right at this moment, legions of angry wingnuts are printing out this column as definitive proof that garden variety liberal bleeding hearts are in league with Latin American dictators. [Reuters]

What is this? It’s the tragic result of 5,000 White House photographers with old-fashioned “click-y cameras” taking 5,000,000 pictures of the president and vice president (both in shirtsleeves) and the stars of the new Cambridge reality teevee show, No Motherfucker You Cannot Arrest Me In My Fucking House I Am a Harvard Professor …. Oh So Just Step Outside For a Moment? MORE »