Tag Archives: racism

  You And Your Racist Friend

Charleston Killer’s Pals: You Wanna Kill Black People, That’s Your Bidness

Figured you didn't need to see that Roof guy's face anymore
Among other things we’re learning about confessed Charleston massacre perpetrator Dylann Roof is that not only was he motivated by hatred of black people, but his friends knew about it and were entirely too nonjudgmental about his plans for starting him a little race war. Kids, we’re in favor of tolerance, but “It’s All Good” really is not a useful moral stance. Read more on Charleston Killer’s Pals: You Wanna Kill Black People, That’s Your Bidness…
  Political Basics: Yelling At Kids Never Helps

Maryland Girl Scouts Too Black To Have Opinions On Animal Abuse, We Guess

They look pretty dangerous. Probably sell those abortion cookies, too.
Somebody needs to let the people of Cecil County, Maryland, know how the plot of an uplifting Capraesque movie is supposed to go: An intrepid local journalist uncovers a scandalous bad thing, the Powers that Be don’t do much of anything about it, and then when little kids take up the cause, everything gets fixed, and maybe even the bad guys are so moved by the kids’ innocent idealism that they vow to turn from evil and do good things, and then a lesbian gets her wings. But that’s not what happened this time at all! Instead, Girl Scouts testifying against awful conditions at a local animal shelter were rewarded by shelter supporters yelling racial insults at the girls, which would really make a lousy ending to a movie. We’re still hoping there’s another reel to run where the plucky girls triumph after all. This story’s not as bad as that Idaho guy who non-racistly slapped a baby on a plane a couple years back, but it’s pretty damn bad. Read more on Maryland Girl Scouts Too Black To Have Opinions On Animal Abuse, We Guess…
  Unfair!

Fired Fox Anchor Will Never Achieve Dream Of Whites, Blacks Hurling N-Word Equally

Boo hoo hoo
Black folks have been enslaved, discriminated against, forced to use separate water fountains, and so many other things over the course of American history, but whew, that’s all over, so there are some white people who would like to get to the REAL racial issue of our day, which is why can’t white people say the word “nigger”? UNFAIR! Tom Burlington was a news anchor for WTXF, the Fox affiliate in Philadelphia, and he lost his job, and a subsequent lawsuit, over his one-man campaign to make it so he could say the N-word, like the blacks do: Read more on Fired Fox Anchor Will Never Achieve Dream Of Whites, Blacks Hurling N-Word Equally…
  Here have some news n stuff

Rachel Dolezal Got Reverse Racisted Before She Got Racisted

She gets all the racisms apparently
At least the bizarre tale of pretend-black-but-actually-white woman Rachel Dolezal can’t get any weirder. Ha, just kidding, of course it can! Shortly after she resigned as president of the Spokane chapter of the NAACP — to spend more time with her bronzer, or maybe less, who knows? — we learned, thanks to some journalisming by the The Smoking Gun, that before she was the self-proclaimed black victim of repeated hate crimes, she was the self-proclaimed white victim of racial discrimination at Howard University: Read more on Rachel Dolezal Got Reverse Racisted Before She Got Racisted…
  Yet Another 'Another American Revolution'

Ted Cruz Supports Gun Control, To Protect Ted Cruz

Be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting Dewegates!
Hey, Ted Cruz, what’s your next cool fundraiser idea? Wow, a chance for some lucky gun-humping donor to go shootin’ with the senator? That sounds like more fun than staying up all night playing RISK with Rand Paul! Funny thing though; the contest requires that the winner be able to pass a background check. It’s in the fine print, which specifies that the “Sponsor” of the sweepstakes — the Cruz campaign — must verify that Ted Cruz will be at least nominally safe with his brand new huntin’ buddy: Read more on Ted Cruz Supports Gun Control, To Protect Ted Cruz…
  the new york times has noticed florida man

Let’s Shoot Up A School Bus On Our Way To The Gun Show: Your Florida Roundup

Remember, kids, guns don’t kill people, people kill people (with guns)
  Is there an image that better sums up Florida? No, there is not. The story behind this is quite sad — two young girls were shot on a school bus; their injuries are thankfully not life-threatening — and not really the Times-Union’s fault, even though its editorial page is a cauldron of right-wing nonsense much of the time. Perhaps someone on the production end should have seen this and thought something amiss. But this is Florida, so that didn’t happen. Read more on Let’s Shoot Up A School Bus On Our Way To The Gun Show: Your Florida Roundup…
  Here have some news n stuff

Fox News Affiliate Will Protect You From Picasso’s Fancy Sex Nipples

Sorry you just broke your monitor because this picture gave you such a boner.
Don’t you hate it when you’re watching the evening news with your mom and they say “BREAKING!” and it’s a story about how a Picasso sold for $179M at Christie’s auction, so you freak out because you just know they’re going to show art nipples on teevee, and now you have a boner in front of your mom? Well, Fox 5 in New York decided to blur them out so that won’t happen: Read more on Fox News Affiliate Will Protect You From Picasso’s Fancy Sex Nipples…
  Sing us a Cuban song too while you're at it!

Esteemed Teevee Journalist Would Like Ted Cruz To Say A Spanish, For Journalism

Gross. Both of them.
Mark Halperin is a hack whom everybody hates, who does hacky “journalism” and somehow, because the world is not fair, makes more money than yr Wonkette. Ted Cruz is an obnoxious, entitled asshole whom everyone hates, who has always been an asshole, who thinks he doesn’t have to play by any rules, but who adorably think he has a chance in hell of becoming president someday. He also has Cuban heritage, even though he actually invaded America from the north. So Halperin decided to interview Cruz, and what SHOULD have been a perfect demonstration of hack journalism, akin to two men using a double-headed dildo backing up into each other repeatedly, instead turned into a big gross racist thing where we ALMOST felt bad for Ted Cruz. Almost. Read more on Esteemed Teevee Journalist Would Like Ted Cruz To Say A Spanish, For Journalism…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Says No Racists On $20 Bill, Let’s Stick With Andrew Jackson

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
As even the paupers of the Wonketariat know, Andrew Jackson’s face adorns the American $20 bill. That is, as they say in academia, “problematic,” so Senator Jeanne Shaheen of New Hampshire has introduced a bill to replace Andrew Jackson’s face with that of a woman. That doesn’t sit so good with Sarah Palin, no sir. Read more on The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Says No Racists On $20 Bill, Let’s Stick With Andrew Jackson…
  ugh this again

Colorado Heating And Air Company Isn’t Racist, Just Doesn’t Like Serving Blacks, That’s All

Yes, kiddo, it is.
A Denver area heating and cooling company is facing boycotts and general outrage after one of those secret local news investigations found that they really seem to hate black people! The company is called Mile High Heating and Cooling, and if you thought stereotyping and blatant racism were a Southern thing, well shit, we’re going to have to disabuse you of that notion. An employee of the company decided to leak a fun little tidbit to the news, about how it was unofficial policy that they don’t service a Denver area neighborhood called Montbello, which used to be majority black, but is now mostly Hispanic. They even have handy print-outs telling them which zip codes are okay to cold call, and which ones are not. Surprise, Montbello, which they call “Mount Ghetto,” is one that is not! Read more on Colorado Heating And Air Company Isn’t Racist, Just Doesn’t Like Serving Blacks, That’s All…
  Why tinker with what ain't need fixin'?

Sen. Chuck Grassley: No Need To Fix Voting Rights Act, Blacks Already Vote Enough!

But definitely not racist restrictions, racism is over.
It was wonderful in 2013 when the Supreme Court finally decided that racism was over, and as a gesture of their goodwill, struck down Section 4 of the Voting Rights Act, the part that said states like Mississippi and Alabama have to ask permission before changing voting rules to hurt minorities, not that they would ever do anything like that. It’s not like those states (or any of the other states) have any sort of history of institutionalized racism or anything! Of course, the intention of that SCOTUS ruling was to have Congress go in and “update” that section, to bring it more in line with 2015 racism, as opposed to 1965 racism. Which brings us to Chuck Grassley, Republican senator of Iowa! Read more on Sen. Chuck Grassley: No Need To Fix Voting Rights Act, Blacks Already Vote Enough!…
  Isn't that what sombreros are for?

California School Board Might Give The Mexican Children Air Conditioning Even Though They Are Mexican, Hooray!

Well yeah, it kinda is!
A lady on the school board in Martinez, California, name of Denise Elsken, made people very mad in March, by saying that this one elementary school, where the white kids go, needs all the A/C, and that this other school, where the Latino kids go, does not. Why? Because the brown kids are “more acclimated” to heat, because they are poor and Mexican, we guess. Here, specifically, is what she said: Read more on California School Board Might Give The Mexican Children Air Conditioning Even Though They Are Mexican, Hooray!…
 

Whether In Blackface Or Not, Mindy Kaling’s Brother Is Consistently A D*ck

The only time we've ever been tempted to do like Perez Hilton and draw a dick on somebody's face.
Mindy Kaling, the beloved comedienne who created and currently stars in The Mindy Project, is delightful. She catapulted into her current position after spending years as a producer, director, writer AND character on The Office. Mindy Kaling is not a dick, as far as we know. But this is not about Mindy Kaling. Her brother, though? Hoo boy! Kaling’s brother, Vijay Chokalingam, is quite a dick! Read more on Whether In Blackface Or Not, Mindy Kaling’s Brother Is Consistently A D*ck…
  Right-wing humor is as good as it's always been

Here Are The Racist Emails That Landed Sh*tty Ferguson Officials In The Unemployment Line

Good thing they didn't send their emails to Strongbad, he would have gotten SO MAD.
If former court clerk Mary Ann Twitty, of Ferguson, Missouri, had been paying any attention to Hillary Clinton’s lessons, she might still have a job right now. Same goes for Rick Henke and William Mudd, who used to be police captain and police sergeant, respectively. Instead, it never occurred to them that “hey we send each other racist haw haw jokes all the time, maybe we should delete them, or maybe do this over Snapchat,” and they were relieved of their jobs in March. Well, now we actually get to see the emails! Were they talking about how much they wanted to lynch slaves or how Barack Obama should go back and live with the monkeys in Africa? Less of the former, more of the latter. Read more on Here Are The Racist Emails That Landed Sh*tty Ferguson Officials In The Unemployment Line…
  Followed by Faghatin' Fridays and Sexist Saturdays

Army Unit Has ‘Racial Thursdays’ Tradition To Relieve Stress Of Not Being Racist The Other Days

Come to serve your country, stay for the constant racial denigration!
Who is in trouble for racism this time? Oh, hello, it is a platoon of soldiers at Fort Wainwright in Alaska who have allegedly been holding an unauthorized “Racial Thursdays” event, where everybody gets to say all the awful racist shit that they’ve been thinking the whole week, but have had to swallow, due to the pressures of being civilized human beings: Read more on Army Unit Has ‘Racial Thursdays’ Tradition To Relieve Stress Of Not Being Racist The Other Days…
  Can't wait to hear what this dude has to say about Muslims

Lawsuit Alleges Nice California Teacher Taught Students About Racism, By Being Racist

Yes, kiddo, it is.
Racial transcendence is alive and well in Brentwood, California, if the allegations in a new lawsuit are true. The case states that Steven Carnine, an 8th grade history teacher at Paul Revere Charter Middle School and Magnet Center, figured that the best way to teach his kids, several of whom are Not White, about racism, would be just to lob a bunch of racial stereotypes at them: Read more on Lawsuit Alleges Nice California Teacher Taught Students About Racism, By Being Racist…
  sopranos on the mississippi

Surprise! City Of Ferguson Run By A Bunch Of Grifty Criminal Racists!

Every time we read another nugget of information dug out of the Justice Department’s report on the gangster cartel that has run the town of Ferguson, it becomes more apparent that the town’s entire municipal court and police force need, to borrow a phrase from conservative plans for Obamacare, a root-and-branch repeal. Or, put another way, fire the entire apparatus out of a cannon into the sun. Read more on Surprise! City Of Ferguson Run By A Bunch Of Grifty Criminal Racists!…
  More racial transcendence

Oklahoma Frat That Doesn’t Want Any ‘N*ggers’ Gets Its Wish, Will No Longer Frat At All

Over the weekend, a charming They Seem Nice video emerged of some frat bros just being frat bros on their frat bro party bus: Members of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity appear to be shown in the video chanting “There will never be a nigger in SAE. You can hang them from a tree, but they’ll never sign with me.” The video was tweeted by Unheard, “an alliance of Black students organized for change within campus administration and atmosphere” at the University of Oklahoma. Because the arc of justice needs to take its sweet time, the university’s president, David Boren, released a statement saying (more or less) “Whoa if true!” and promised to investigate: Read more on Oklahoma Frat That Doesn’t Want Any ‘N*ggers’ Gets Its Wish, Will No Longer Frat At All…
 

Obama Mentions Voting Rights At Selma, Conservatives Outraged Of Course

it's not playing the
On Saturday, your blackest president ever, Barack Obama, traveled to Selma, Alabama, to speak at the 50th anniversary commemoration of “Bloody Sunday,” when civil rights protesters were beaten by police when they walked across the Edmund Pettus Bridge. The events of Bloody Sunday and other protest marches in Alabama led directly to the passage of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, so this is an excellent event to solemnly celebrate, and we are very happy that both Republicans and Democrats joined in attending the event, including former President George W. Bush and many congressional Republicans. Read more on Obama Mentions Voting Rights At Selma, Conservatives Outraged Of Course…
  department of "welp"

Justice Department Has Some Thoughts On The Ferguson P.D.

Sorry, dude.
On Wednesday, the Justice Department released two reports related to last summer’s events in Ferguson, Missouri. One report dealt with Officer Darren Wilson’s shooting of Michael Brown. The other dealt with the city of Ferguson being run by a bunch of racist shitheels who used the mostly black and impoverished civilian population as a perpetual revenue-generating machine instead of treating them like human beings. Guess which report the wingnutgentsia seems most interested in! Read more on Justice Department Has Some Thoughts On The Ferguson P.D….