Everybody thought it was so awesome when President Obama invited over the hostile white cop and the indignant black professor for domestic beers at his house, but did you know he is not even letting these people inside? “‘[W]eather permitting, the three men will meet at a picnic table outside the Oval Office,” reports the Boston Globe. Then, in a moment of tragic irony, the president will excuse himself for a potty break, realize he’s locked himself out of his house, decide to just whizz in the bushes instead, and all three men will be executed by the Secret Service, the end. [Political Intelligence]