• Sesame Street beefs on FOX? Oscar the Grouch lives in a trashcan because he is a dirty Maoist. [Gateway Pundit]
• Barack Obama > Moderate Democrats > Barney Frank’s Dining Room Table > Moderate Republicans > Michael Steele. [Matt Yglesias]
• The best part of last night was when voters told the Gays they couldn’t get married. Remember the Maine! And suck a fat one, Rachel Maddow! [The Corner]
• A Hoffman poll watcher had his tires slashed by ACORN, but “local police are not willing to confirm it was a tire slashing.” Ha, typical! More foul play from the conniving Democrats. [RedState]
• “The GOP renaissance has begun,” said the cow blocking the train. “Moo.” [TPM]

It’s time for the TeeVee Personality Newz here at Wonkette! In today’s first-and-only edition, Keith Olbermann acts like a jackass! According to New York’s CityFile, MSNBC’s “Wost Person in the World” stomped off the job for three nights because his pal and protege Rachel Maddow had movie star/Web traffic expert Ben Affleck booked for her April 16 show. But Olbermann decided Jennifer Garner’s husband needed to be on Olbermann’s April 16 show. When MSNBC executives refused to grant his wish, Keith stormed away and didn’t return to work until three shows later. MORE »

The important conservative political philosophy bloggers at Power Line WON THE MORNING Saturday by writing a pornographic blog post about the sexual meaning of “teabagging,” which their fathers perhaps had taught them the night before. One writes, “What we’re seeing here is the ascendancy of the Low-Life Left. Vulgar, ignorant, profane and abusive, it started on the internet at sites like Daily Kos, Democratic Underground and Wonkette. Discourse at sites like these abandoned all traditional norms of political conversation.” Bah! And now that smut has made its way onto liberal cable news television outlets like MSNBC and CNN! Which leads another writer to conjecture that this sexual act is something invented by 2.5 homosexuals — Rachel Maddow, Andrew Sullivan, and Anderson Cooper — because you know how mean they are. MORE »

Have you heard about former Secretary of State, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Gulf War Hero Colin Powell? He is a Republican! The military people, they are that way, sometimes. But here’s Powell talking about the current GOP and how it’s a very silly backyard-theater troupe with its “oh guess what let’s just STOP ALL GOVERNMENT SPENDING like Dr. Paul said” nonsense, during a Depression. [Rachel Maddow]

Anyone know what Meghan McCain is promoting, now that she’s in the news and on the teevee shows and doing the Tina Brown monster website thing? Here are two clips from just the past 24 hours, and they’re bad, man, they are BAAAAAD… And yet so funny? MORE »

Repulsive swamp cow Mark Penn has so many personal microtrends that they all add up into one megatrend, which is “Mark Penn will take money from anybody, including Satan.” Here is Rachel Maddow responding to Penn’s latest bullshit about his latest scandal — claiming his PR firm hasn’t done work for Blackwater murder gangs. [Gawker]

Ooh look pretty pictures! The famous journalistic news-reporting organization Vogue profiles your Katie Couric, your Rachel Maddow, and wait, who’s this? We seem to have seen this one somewhere, recently… If you click through to Comments and scroll down just enough, you can now see six (6) images of Campbell Brown on this web site: top, side, and middle of the screen, plus the “live” Ms. Brown and her two posters in the Vogue photo. (YOU’RE WELCOME.) Campbell Brown is the Saparmurat Niyazov of American cable news. [Vogue]

About three and a half minutes into this LOOONG clip, you will see every liberal’s favorite girlfriend Rachel Maddow start arguing with David Frum about whether political humor is as discourse-cheapening and violence-inciting as shouting “Kill him!” at a political rally. “We all could do better,” says Frum, boringly. Then he says Rachel Maddow should invite Paul Wolfowitz on her show for a Serious Discussion, and then they both have a hearty chuckle because really, Wolfowitz? That clown? [MSNBC]

• Huckabee and Barr will embarrass themselves publicly with some other losers, just to see who would fail more tragically as a stand-up comedian. [DCist]
• In her world-famous acceptance speech, Sarah of the North quoted some batshit Nazi who also wanted to assassinate FDR. [Ben Smith}
• Palin and McCain are pretending to have an extramarital maverick sex with each other so that racists can have their own Barack&Michelle. [Daily Kos]
• The North Korean army will destroy its enemies by arranging itself to appear as nothing more than an MC Escher drawing. [Matthew Yglesias]
• Rachel Maddow has had her MSNBC show for all of 48 hours, so it’s high time Fox News finally pulls through with a homophobic comment. [Ezra Klein]
• Barack Obama commanded a pack of rabid wolves to run north, to Alaska, so they could devour Palin. These wolves feed on the flesh of hockey moms. [HuffPost]

Your favorite pretend girlfriend Rachel Maddow, whose regular fights with Pat Buchanan this year have become the stuff of comedic television legend, has earned her very own television show. It will air on MSNBC at 9 p.m., following angry old Keith Olbermann. She will replace some show that nobody watches hosted by Dan Abrams, who in the last couple of years has gone from running MSNBC to having his time slot usurped by some uppity short-hair. [NYT/TV Decoder]

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