* “Those white kids really know how to stick it to the man, the man’s wall, and the day laborer who repaints it. Stenciling a mailbox with cryptic messages that people ultimately ignore? Cue the bongo drums and finger snaps. DEEP.” [why.i.hate.dc]
* Servathon 2007 this weekend. [Read Express]
* R. Kelly is writing a song for Virginia Tech victims. “Can someone please arrest R. Kelly?” [Native Son]
* “Sometimes I think I’m that dude in the Bible…You know, Job, that keeps getting tested by God. Only I get tested by public transportation and the postal service.” [World Domination is Inevitable]
* “2400 Block of 16th St. NW will be closed for 6-8 hours avoid 16th St. NW if possible, please use routes.” [Blah, Blah Black Sheep]

• Al Sharpton’s descent into madness reaches new milestone with incorporation of the “Space Jam” theme song into Connecticut rally speech. [Hartford Courant]

• Dilbert creator longs to be a cog in the machine. [Dilbert Blog]
• A convenient truth: global warming is producing new premium beers. [BBC]
• Intern humiliates DHS by creating informative website in two flip-flop-wearing months. [Boing Boing]
• If Smith Point advertised on television, this it what it would look like. [Logged Hours]
• Some days Tony Snow wishes he was still asking the questions, instead of not answering them. [Boozhy]
• National Conservative Student Conference peddling masturbatory fodder to “baby wingnuts.” [Pandagon]

* Yes! There is a God! Er, um — that stuff is gross, he’s so perverted. [AP] MORE »

Today’s Wonk’d brings us Hu Jintao, guarded like the superpower leader that he is, and Chris Rock — also being guarded, but maybe for different reasons. Jenna Bush and friends were seen, shockingly, waiting their turn in line, but the guys from Franz Ferdinand had ladies waiting in line for them. Media elites Tucker Carlson and David Gregory, ignoring high gas prices, were fillin’ ‘er up. Also spotted: Chelsea Clinton, hiding behind the latest fashions; R. Kelly, trying to get himself in more trouble; and John Ashcroft, ACTUALLY TAKING THE METRO. We deliver what we promise, plus so much more, after the jump.

We love our tipsters and all your hilarious tips, so please keep sending them to us via email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with the name of the spotted celeb). Thanks!

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