Not too long ago, some of the most coveted jobs in Washington lay in the Republican National Committee. Its employees went to work at noon, were fed peeled grapes by strapping young men in American flag-themed loincloths, dined on baby whale-steaks with the world’s most creative and decadent war criminals, and then rode home on gold-plated dildos at 4pm sharp. But now under the leadership of Michael Steele, RNC gigs gotten so depressing that long-time employees are leaving. MORE »

• NORM COLEMAN’S LAWYER IS ‘DONE,’ SOMEHOW: Joe Friedberg, Norm Coleman’s recount attorney, tells Hotline, “Yes, I’m done,” after being asked if he is “done.” It is not clear whether this means he’s quitting, but it does mean that maybe someday, in 2025 or something, Norm Coleman’s legal challenges to his lost 2008 election will be over. [Hotline]

• DASCHLE OUT: Dang. The NYT editorial board must have some real pull. [Roll Call]

CAROLINE KENNEDY DROPS SENATE QUEST! Guess who won’t be your new appointed senator from New York? Caroline Kennedy, the famous royalty who was supposed to get Hillary’s old gig! That’s what the New York Post says, in a BREAKING news story bulletin alert. Ha, Drudge doesn’t even have this, yet. We need a replacement for the Drudge Siren, in this post-Drudge era. [NEW YORK POST]

Forgotten Florida Republican Senator Mel Martinez announced his retirement today, two years early, and nobody really cares. Martinez is a Cuban alien who somehow got to Florida and became mayor of some town, in Florida, so George Bush Junior made him the HUD secretary, so Martinez caused the housing collapse probably, and then he ran for the Senate and won, we guess, because he’s a senator now, but only for two more years. MORE »

Christopher Buckley, the terrorist appeaser liberal betrayer and soiler of the legacy of the last conservative intellectual on earth, William F. Buckley, went on Chris Matthews’ show last night and chuckled about how a bunch of mouth-breathing rubes who read National Review hate him now. He calls himself a “hack novelist,” which is a little unfair; he just needs to remember that novelists shouldn’t publish their first drafts. [MSNBC]

Remember how John McCain used to want to lose elections to, uh, whatever that was? Lose elections to win elections? Anyway, this week’s suspension of his campaign is happening in Michigan. Team McCain is closing up shop, pulling the teevee ads, ending the mailers, canceling all events, the end. MORE »

Besides her sudden disappearance from tonight’s RNC lineup, there are many other signs that Sarah Palin will be the first major-party veep nominee to drop off the ticket since George McGovern dumped Thomas Eagleton for being crazy, way back in 1972. What are the other chilling new signs of Snowbilly Loserdom? MORE »

Aging pretty-boy multi-millionaire John Edwards was a senator for a few years after a lucrative career as a personal-injury lawyer. For some reason, this made him John Kerry’s pretend vice president, which led to a sweeping Edwards’ fail in this year’s Democratic primary. And now he’s shutting down the scholarship program he started for poor kids at a North Carolina high school. MORE »

How much does fluorescent light advocate and Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann’s staff love her? So much that they are constantly quitting! New information reveals that Rep. Bachmann has lost two chiefs of staff, a district director, a press secretary, two legislative assistants, a staff assistant, a caseworker, an outreach and grants coordinator and a district scheduler since she hired them early last year. Is her insanity driving them away, or is it her penchant for playing footsie with her colleagues? MORE »

According to some sources, nobody would be happier to throw Hillary Clinton under the vaunted Democratic bus than Jimmy Carter and Al Gore. As historical losers themselves — a single-term President and failed Presidential aspirant — they know a thing or two about what it takes to lose an election. That’s what gives them so much “street cred” with the Democratic Party, which is why Hillary Clinton will have to listen to them. But where’s John Kerry? Isn’t he a lovable loser, too? MORE »