Wonkette

Here’s our friendly New York Governor Eliot Spitzer resigning, with his wife, who still really doesn’t want to be there. Uh, did she read Dina McGreevey’s NYT column this morning? She gave all victimized political wives the right to not stand next to their husbands. Maybe Silda just wanted to make him look like more of a wretch, and she did a good job of that.

Today Eliot Spitzer ends the nation’s agony by quitting the New York governorship, which we all knew he was going to do. Stay with us as we write through all 30 seconds of his sad quitter speech! MORE »

Yes Governor Spitzer (D-NY) is widely expected to resign from his hallowed office because he sexed ladies for money! America will always remember him fondly for being one of the first brave Democrats to reclaim hypocritical sex scandals from the Republicans. [FOX News]

AND NOW HILLARY’S DEPUTY CAMPAIGN MANAGER IS GONE: WaPo’s Chris Cillizza says deputy manager Mike Henry is gone, too. But he’s not a photogenic Latina woman, so we won’t run his picture.

For anyone who has wondered what happened to adorable fluffy-haired ex-Rhode Island Senator Lincoln Chaffee after he lost his reelection bid and quit the Republican party, here’s your answer: he’s thinking about voting for a Democrat! The one called Obama! Then he will go back to cleaning out horse stalls and mourning the rightward drift of his former party. [Providence Journal]

As if the news about Mitt Romney weren’t enough to break our hearts, another pillar of rectitude has decided to pack it in. It seems Pastor Ted Haggard, who only a year ago became a “complete heterosexual,” has decided to end his relationship with the “Restoration Team” that performed his magical conversion. MORE »

This can’t be happening! It’s a sad day for Humor. Better get started on the obit. [The Page]

Excitable GOP troll Tom Tancredo says he won’t run for re-election because he’s too busy being angry about Mexicans, even though his presidential campaign continues to inspire nobody, not even the angry hordes of AM talk-radio listeners who should be supporting him. Tancredo, currently running near the bottom of the dozen or so Republican candidates (but probably over Ron Paul), made the announcement after some baseball game last night. MORE »

“Three days after Americans saw the Bush administration’s counterterrorism chief say the Iraq war has likely not made the United States safer from terrorism, the official announced his resignation, citing health reasons.” [ABC Blotter]

No one has any reason at all to talk to Dan Bartlett anymore now that he’s not in the White House so he spends all his time asking his wife to email him. And he replaced his now-useless BlackBerry with an iPhone so he could be lonely and hip. [WP]

So we hear. More to come! MORE »